Body Scan/Thorough Pat Down OUTRAGE!!!!!!

I am on an angry rampage about to run up to the White House myself to complain about these new airport security 'procedures'!!! More like intrusions if you ask me!!!! It goes against everything my mom and dad taught me not to do! It is more shocking and appalling than you think, and seeing the creepiest men in the world wearing gloves and staring at you is NOT OKAY!!!! I am about to tell you my personal story of what abominations I've seen in the Denver airport today! I will gladly send my story off to OBAMA when I'm done! I'm THAT mad!!!!!!!!!

Our day started out pretty good until we went by a large speaker that shouted: "If you choose to forgo the body scan, then a thorough pat down may be involved." ERRRRRRK!!! Say WHAT?!?! My eyes got super wide as I took my place in line. I had seen certain google images of the body scan earlier this week and I feel like my innocence has been defiled. It shows every nook and cranny/fat roll and I'm not sure which one is worse! I have also heard horror stories about the creepers looking at the images and reasons they have been fired. I'll leave it at that. Lets just say there was NO WAY the body scanner was gonna happen for me. Nobody was gonna get that Merry of a Christmas!!!! NOBODY!

So I get closer to the scanner and this overweight man with a scruffy beard about 32 years old is looking at the images with his mouth half open (I wish I was kidding). He is the kinda guy that probably plays video games alone on a Saturday night taking small breaks to email his internet girlfriend named Helga. Not long after I'd been in line he saw me and made eye contact. We held eye contact for a few seconds and I could've sworn he looked a little happy to see me in line. *Insert record scratch number TWO!* No way, hosay!!! The only person I'd let see me in a body scan would be a registered mother! It should be mothers only if you ask me!!! Not a 32 yr. old bachelor creepster! At least shave the creep mustache PUH-LEASE!!!! Is that to much to ask?!?!

So I decided to forgo the scan as I saw my dad step in and make a goofy face. "I want to get my piece of the money if you sell this on ebay!" he said to the security guard who was NOT laughing. Next thing I know I'm going through the metal detector as they pick Molly randomly out for a "thorough pat down". This is where human rights becomes an issue in my mind!!!!

The pat down involves a person standing in the middle of a large room with EVERYONE looking! They touch everywhere leaving nothing without some touchy touchy boomity boomity! Undies are shown, hands are flying, and people are crying! IT WAS JUST WRONG!!!!! I am so so so sooooo happy they did not choose me, because I would have been arrested and someone would have been punched. You will NOT touch me all over in front of an enormous crowd and show my undies! I mean they even stick their hands DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR PANTS IN PUBLIC!!!!!! I am NOT joking about this!!! I AM LIVID!!!!!!! AND APPALLED!!!! I am sorry I am having to say these abominations on a blog!!!! Believe me, having to use the word undies and front of pants has not been one of my dreams! I am very sad it is has come to this!!!!

I get it…safety first, but this has gone WAY TOO FAR! WAYYYYY too far! Nuhu no way is this okay with me! I hope you all are as outraged as I am, and maybe we can at LEAST get mothers to be these scanners/patters not creeper of the month! And behind closed doors even! It was like completely and utterly outrageous!!!!! What address can I send my complaints to!?!?!?!

NOT OKAY, AMERICA! NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Survival Mode Musts*

If you know me at all, you know that I do not agree with cold weather. Being cold makes my face blow up to twice it's size for reasons unknown. My hands look like an old ladies and my demeanor is just a little bit grumpy. I am known to hibernate in the frigid conditions and people often wonder where I am. I can tell you right now that I'll be in survival mode with no sign of a cute outfit anywhere. I will be huddled by the fire in layers of bulky clothes trying to defeat the menacing chill. Luckily, I have a list of items that help me fight through the winter and you should have them, too. We are not migratory birds, so we must use a few wonderful inventions to help battle these treacherously cold days. Here is a list of ten items that you should consider this season:

*Survival Mode Musts*

1.) Heated mattress pad- This comes in quite handy everyday of the winter. Fire it up about ten minutes before bedtime and you will have a cozy, comforting place in no time! It's also good for waking me up in the morning, because when I put it on high it literally burns my skin. Yes, I do burn myself out of bed every morning, but this is survival mode and I never said it was pretty!

2.) Blow Dryer- This can be used to warm up those freezing toes after a hard day of making it the few feet from the car to the house. It can also be used to warm up socks as well...it'll be the best thing you ever did for your feet.

3.) Polartec Pants- These are a new item that I have purchased this year, and I absolutely LOVE them. They are made by The North Face and it makes me feel like I'm wearing a cloud. It's a nice way to keep warm and cozy around the house, AND they are stretchy so the guilt of holiday indulgence is less abrasive.

4.) Neosporin Lip Care- I have always had terribly chapped lips, but the new lip care line from Neosporin has given me hope! It heals my lips and prepares me to face any kind of adversity the weather might bring.

5.) OPI Nail Polish: "Ali's Big Break"- This nail polish is perfect for the Holiday season with a beautiful red color and a hint of sparkle. That way, even though you look super frumptastic in all the oversized polertec, you can remember you're a woman by looking at your beautiful nails!

6.) Fuzzy North Face jacket- The North Face has the softest/fuzziest line of jackets that bring comfort and support just by looking at them. When I put it on I feel like I'm in heaven and watching a Holiday movie in this fluffy friend is unmatchable bliss.

7.) Pumpkin Spice Coffee from The Fresh Market- Oh my…this coffee is the best coffee I have ever tasted and it only comes around once a year. You actually have to snag it during the fall season, but I save it for the winter! My taste buds thank me for my good choices every time.

8.) 18oS Ear Warmers- These are the best ear warmers I have EVER had! They go UNDERNEATH my hair so I don't have to go though the awkwardness of those other types of ear warming mechanisms! It is hard to tell that I have them on and they are SUPER warm! My hair day is not messed up at all, either!!! Gene Lockwood is calling your name…I can hear it now!

9.) Fuzzy socks- I never wear socks in the summer, but during the winter they are a MUST! Having them in obnoxious colors makes it all the more fun. The fuzzier…the better! Let's fight cold feet together!

10.) Space Heater- We all know the feeling of getting out of bed and the cold hitting us like a ton of bricks…say no to this horrendous occurrence and buy a space heater! This is winter…not child's play! We need to be armed with the best!

11.) Don't forget your HEAT WARMERS!!! Shake those babies up and you'll feel like a new person! You can even shake them to the tune of "Jingle Bells" to make it festive.


-I hope that you all put some of this on your Christmas list because January and February have never been forgiving. Throw some assorted gloves in there as well and make sure you only ride in vehicles that have heaters in them. Ugg boots wouldn't hurt either!

This is not a joke..this is not a drill…THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED! The Artic Winds have blown and we are now officially in SURVIVAL MODE!!!

*EXCUSE ME?!*

Three major record scratching moments have happened today alone. It's kind of a good thing, because my life was a little even keel for a while there, and that's never good for the blog.

We are getting ready for our family ski trip to Colorado next week, so we ran an errand to Jean Lockwood today. When we got home I was putting up my new ski stuff as dad walked in with a very serious look on his face. It wasn't a mad serious face, but a face was there to tell me some sort of news he'd been thinking about.

"It costs money to bring bags on the plane, so we have a big bag for ski stuff. I'd like for you to only have a carry on bag other than that." ERRRRRK!!!! EXCUSE ME?!?! "Dad! You have got to be joking right now!!! My make-up and hair bag is as big as a carry on by itself!" He started laughing and then luckily mom overheard the news of his bag idea. She said there was NO WAY she could get all her stuff in a carry on. I mean…we are women! Men expect us to look great/smell good AND they want us to save money by only packing a light bag!!! We are not immortal here! Do you think we have magic dust that suddenly brings about great outfits and hair days?! That is a big NO. It takes big bags I tell you…huge ones!

My other record scratching moment came at the lunch table when mom and dad informed me that I will be sharing a little room with my older brother on the trip. I am still terrified from the moments as a child when he had sleep terrors and it's bone chilling to think about what may happen. Not to mention it's just a little bit weird…aren't we a little old for this? Molly, why did you have to go get married again?!

Right after I learned about my new roomie a lady came up to the table and congratulated my parents on their new grandchild! "Are you the pregnant one?!" she said looking my way. "NO!" I replied with a a smile on my lips and a scowl in my eyes. I knew the day was coming when people would begin to think I'm pregnant, I just wasn't as prepared as I thought I was. Why me?! WHY ME?!?!?! ...I ask myself this often.

*Update!*

The newest and most important update in my life is that I'm going to be an AUNT! Yes, as most of you know Molly is on her way to being great with child! I am very excited for this new little arrival in our family, and I know it will change our lives for the better!!! I've already been thinking of fun things I'm going to do with the baby when he/she gets older! I wonder what their favorite foods will be, because i'll have to learn how to make it! Maybe they can come to aunt Abby's house and have camp-outs in the living room like we used to do. We would throw up a tent and sleep in sleeping bags inside the house, because camping outside was not our style. We could have smores and I could write stories just for my niece or nephew! The possibilities are endless!!! Oh my goodness….shadow puppets on the tent wall! Yes, it's going to happen.


The good news is that people won't grab my hand to look at my ringless finger to figure out who I am anymore! They can just look at me and see that I'm not pregnant! I will no longer be the ringless one!!! Maybe people can just call me Abby for once!!! That would be a dream! Welcome, baby…welcome.

I know some of you are probably wondering how I am feeling about all this because well…I'm the single twin sister of the girl whose having a baby and married to the man of her dreams. My best friend Kate can be found in the arms of her love as well sending me into many awkward third wheel moments. It's kinda like an elephant in the room, so I'm going to give you word about what's going on over here. I've heard about people having conversations about me, and even got a few worried phone calls this week, so don't act like this is uncalled for. lol I truly appreciate the concerns and I will gladly tell you how I am! I am so so so so soooo happy for Molly and Logan! :) It is super weird that my sister has an entirely different life than me, but I know that the Lord's timing is the best timing. He has everything under control and things are going the way they are supposed to go! How could I not be happy with that? The Lord gives me what I need each day to keep moving forward and do His will. His grace is enough for me! And now more than ever I stand by my convictions of not settling just for anything or anyone. It doesn't matter how many babies Molly has or how many people get married around me, I am NOT going to settle for anything less than what God has for me! If that means I'm single for 30 more years, then that's gonna be the way it goes. Settling is never worth it..it's just false security.

I have students, ninth grade bible study girls, and younger cousins that can see how I react to life circumstances. I am not only reacting for my own reasons, but for the people I love as well. I want to pave the way for new thinking. I want to teach girls that it's okay if they are the last one standing in a group of married girls. I want them to know that being patient and waiting on God's timing is the only way to go. I want them to know that self worth comes from the Lord and can't come from some guy. I know being lonely can be scary, but it isn't worth settling for a quick fix. I want them to know that if their life turns out completely different than they planned, that's okay. If you end up having to pay your own bills..it's not the end of the world. ;)

I'm finding out that God gives us reasons to be and people to love no matter where we are. And if we take life one day at a time, it doesn't feel so harsh. What matters most in life is Jesus Christ. He was there from the very beginning, and He is going to be there when everyone else is gone. When it is all said and done….God still is. I already have what I need to be happy and fulfilled. Jesus Christ is my reason for living, and therefore I can move ahead with strength and confidence no matter what life brings.

*Can You Believe That?!*

There are ways of knowing when you've passed from childhood into adulthood. If a child is completely bored with the topics of conversation you have with your friends,you're a grown up. If you are eating something you find very delightful, and a child looks at it with disgust, that's called adulthood. If you are watching a movie you find very interesting and a child is heard in the background saying: "How much longer till it's OVER?!", you have officially said your farewells to childhood. It is through the measure of a child that we can see when we've truly made the transition Peter Pan has always feared. Let me give some examples...

Earlier this week I was conversing with my aunts and cousins from out of town. My four year old cousin kept asking all of us to come play in her room, but we were too busy talking to come. Numerous people turning her down was upsetting to her, so I tried to find a way to make it right. I told her that she could go make us pretend food, but we would only be able to play like we were costumers talking at the table. I looked her strait in the eye and said very seriously like I was letting her in on a secret: "When you turn into a big person,talking is as fun as playing with dolls, can you believe THAT?! One day you will want to talk this much, too!" She opened her mouth and gave me an amazed look. "I can't believe THAT!" she said once she finally grasped the concept. "Life is funny like that" I said to her as she ran back to her room to grab some pretend food.

A few days ago we were watching a movie at our house that was not bad, but it was geared towards older crowds. My younger cousin wanted to hang out with the older cousins so she came a long as well. The entire time she kept saying "How much LONGER?!" and at the end she said "I'm so glad THAT'S over! Now let's get outta here, hop, two, three, four..." I laughed to myself and told her that when people get older they enjoy boring movies and love to eat nasty food. What once was so unappealing somehow turns into bliss. I got a few nodding agreements from the older cousins who remember what it was like to misunderstand adults. Something happens between then and now that changes the whole meaning of fun. When does this change take place, anyway? When are mac N cheese and chicken nuggets replaced for dishes that once seemed so gross to us as children?

Life changes us. There is only a short time in our lives when talking to people comes second to toys. When movies are supposed to only be in cartoon and food is simple and fun. Our whole view of life changes with each year, and maybe I'm not done changing. Maybe I will look back and laugh at what I thought was fun now, maybe what I think is boring will one day be appealing. One thing I've learned is that I can't put anything past aging. Age does things to you...crazy things you'd never imagine.

*WARNING: This may offend you*

The title of this post is very true...it may be offensive,so read at your own risk. What I'm about to talk about is quite controversial, but it must be said. (I was also wondering if people would click on my post BECAUSE I said it was offensive...just a little human experiment while I'm at it.)

There is an epidemic that has hit many young males at our beloved school that I like to call the "I'm Awesome" syndrome. It has become OUT OF CONTROL in the biggest way! Their egos have been fed for quite sometime, and it has brought about some shocking outcomes. I am here to bring some reality into the situation considering many poor girls are lowering their standards and losing self esteem. If I have one more conversation with a girl about how she isn't enough because Mr. "I'm Awesome" said so, then I will do something dramatic. Hence, where my passion begins...guarding self worth in myself and others is where one of my main convictions lies.

If you are a student here you know very well that there are 7 girls to 1 guy. This simply means there are a lot of BIG FISH in our TEENY,TINY POND. It means most girls won't be noticed no matter how hard they try. It means girls who are so incredible are losing self esteem and thinking this is reality. It means guys think they have the right to take a different girl out each weekend so they can choose who is 'right'. It means guys ASSUME girls will want to go on a date with them.It means EGOS ARE TAKING UP ALL OF OUR BREATHING ROOM! (What kind of freak show is this anyway, the bachelor?!)

I am also a little peeved about this "I'm Awesome" syndrome because of something that happened to me personally about a year ago. A guy who I would NEVER even think of dating pulled me aside and had a "serous" talk with me. He looked me in the eyes and said sweetly: "I know you like me, but as a sister in Christ I need to guard your heart and tell you I don't see you that way." Shocked I said this back PLAIN and CLEAR: "Oh ya? Well as a sister in Christ I need to let you know that you are completely delusional because I would never even consider you, pal."

I mean we are talking WACKY situations. I remember thinking: "Was I just rejected without even asking for it?!" Girls are lowering their standards because they are trying to meet some expectations they think will get them noticed at this school. I have long ago given up the idea that any boy will notice me on that campus no matter how hard I try. But you know what? That doesn't mean outside the bubble they don't. That doesn't mean I need to make my standards lower and just say yes to ANYONE. Even I have befallen victim of having a crush on somebody that I look back and say "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?!" Please, please, please...don't let that be you.

I know there are always exceptions and this is not necessarily the majority, but I see it enough to say something about it. Girls, what some guys at our school think of you does not make you who you are. If no boy notices you then that doesn't mean you aren't beautiful, that just means you might not have to share an undeserving man with three other people. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you and it DEFINITELY doesn't mean you aren't worth being seen. Because you ARE. And you deserve to have your standards high. (Let's face it, when standards lower you might marry a crazy man and have crazy babies because of it. Yikes.)

Go out of the bubble and you WILL be noticed. And when you are, don't just say yes to any joe blow that comes your way. Be okay with being single until the RIGHT one comes along!!! Do not fear rejection or singleness. Sometimes being rejected is the best thing that ever happened to you! SERIOUSLY! And singleness shows that you are willing to wait and go through the fire for that right boo for you. You are worth more than you know and you have something to offer. Never let any boy who doesn't see that make you feel any different.

This is a very serious matter, because I know we can't truly love anybody until we love ourselves. Let's guard our self worth with everything we have, so we can love deeply like the Lord created us to!

*Middle School Moment*

I had a Jr. High flashback a few weeks ago due to some unfortunate circumstances. I thought once I made my way to the big wide world of College all of my horrifying moments were over, but my recent experience has made me realize that I was definitely wrong about that one.

First, let me give you a little background information on the situation. There is a honorary education club that about every other education major got asked to be in EXCEPT me. The reason I did not make the cut is because they take your OVERALL GPA and mine happens to be a 2.8 thanks to a few "mishaps" along the way. I think I should get a lot of recognition because I brought up my 1.8 from the unfortunate times at my old college to a 2.8! Do you know how hard that is?! I mean…all these other people just had good grades all along. I had to drudge my way up from the GPA pits for heavens sake! That is some major number climbing!!! Biology and College Algebra were considered my days of being mercilessly thrown into the quicksand of confusion with no chance of escape!!! How can a GPA reflect positively when you are just happy to get ANY of the problems right?! Just because I was made to take those dream killing classes does not mean that I shouldn't be able to be in the education club!

Having strait A's all your life is not the end all be all. It's a known fact that a main character in a novel is always supposed to be the one that changes through the story. My GPA represents a good leading role in a wonderfully famous novell! Always having good grades brings about NO story line. People like that have to be the background character because they always stay the same. I on the other hand have made a huge transition which is why my life and GPA can be the spotlight and focal point of a storyline. JUST SAYIN.

The Jr. High flashback came the night that everyone was meeting to have dessert with the dean for their first informational meeting about the club. I was doing a huge presentation for my night class and had to be there 15 minutes early which happened to be the same time that everyone was getting their dessert. Everyone started walking towards the invite only room and at least four people asked me: "Are you coming?" It was a terrible moment, because I have definitely made a smarter name for myself and not being invited ruined my new look. The worst part was when one girl who has ALWAYS had strait A's whispered loud enough for me to hear "Not all of us can make it." 'Well, YOU can't be the main character of a novel! Your GPA IS BORRRRRING!' I said to the hallway. Because well…me and the hallway were the only ones left, really.

I had to wait out in the hall while everyone else got icecream and cookies and fruit. I wasn't too upset about missing out on the fruit but the other stuff? Not cool! I give up my life to do well in my education classes, but missed out on the dessert and lost my smart reputation anyway! Everybody came into class with their plates full of dessert and I had a to give a 200 point presentation on ESL students while they ate. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear or two, but I still got a 95% on my presentation even with a heavy heart and red face. THAT is talent if you ask me!!! Life is not about recognition, though….but I don't think life is about being left out alone in the hall, either. Did I mention I didn't even read until 2nd grade and I had a C in math for the first time in 4th grade. I defy odds with the great grades I'm getting now. Why isn't that taken into account?!

The Dean of Education came and had a personal talk with me about how she was sad that she couldn't change the rules and let me into the club. She was really sweet and said that I had something that lots of people don't have which is a bubbly personality and interpersonal skills. She said that's one of the most important things about being a teacher which made me feel good. The years of personality development that I've spoken about before have really paid off. :) But unfortunately those days could not save me from reliving my middle school feelings again in a college hallway. But don't worry…I'm completely over it and just laughing about it now. That's the best thing you can do in situations like that. Learning to laugh at the rough times in life is the best way to make it through if you ask me.

*You don't know me like that!*

I'm very sad to report that the Alfred Angelo store is not only a disappointment, but the most frightening shopping experience I've ever had in my life. It didn't take long after getting into the store to realize that there was something fishy going on. Immediately a scary lady came up to me and got way too close to my face.

"We have to hurry up because there is an appointment at five!" boomed a lady of clear self imposed importance. "It's okay..I'm a pretty independent person. I like to look and try on things by myself anyway." She looked down her nose at me. "NO! WE do not let you do things on your own here at Alfred Angelo! NOW WHAT SIZE!!!"... What size?! Do you have to ask it so harshly, lady? Could we have a little small talk first to ease the pain? And could you please give me a little personal space?

She then proceeds to tell me that I have to come out after trying on every dress so she can put her hands all over my back with these fabric clippers. All I could think was: "You don't know me like that, woman! Nobody knows me like that!!!" It was completely and utterly OUT OF CONTROL! Then she told me to take off my pants and shoes and I raised my voice a bit:"NO! NO, NO, NO!!! I will NOT take off my pants and shoes!!!!" I couldn't even act like I wasn't freaked out. Has she ever heard of something I like to call HUMAN RIGHTS?!

My eyes got as big as the half ton man on TLC by this point. I thought I could find safety in the dressing room, but I was mistaken."Hang up every dress after you try them on! DO you hear me?"....DO I HEAR YOU!?!?! Pretty sure I couldn't stop hearing you if I tried!!! Did I mention the tight three garment rule and how she treated me a like a hoodlum? How about the fact that she acted like I was lucky to be in Alfred Angelo and I felt like I was catering to HER. She badmouthed David's Bridal some too and David is the man.

We both decided it wasn't even worth trying on anymore and left immediately. I would not be surprised if she vacuumed up the floor where we stepped and sent us a "you're welcome" card for allowing us to be in the presence of such "greatness". Not okay.

*I wondered what it felt like*

There I was...off in my own little daydreaming world doodling on my notebook when I heard the teacher say something very unexpected:"If you are confused and need to see how to do the report correctly, just refer to Abby's paper." (Insert RECORD SCRATCH/BACK TO REALITY moment) I looked up from my doodle and quickly scanned the room to see if there was another Abby I was unaware of. Then I noticed a paper that had been handed out to me earlier but I was too busy drawing to look at. 100%?!?! So it wasn't a mix up...the teacher had actually told the whole class that I was a go to girl. Me...put it on the record.

Once I realized what had actually happened, I said to the class: "WOW! That has never happened to me before. I've always wondered what it would feel like and it feels even better than I imagined!" The class laughed but I was being totally serious. It was super awesome to have my named called out for something other than a lunch ticket. For that moment in life...I ruled.

Another "pigs really can fly" moment happened this week as well. A guy came up to me at church on Thursday and said: "Hey, were you the girl running on ___ street yesterday?" I started laughing so hard because YES!! I WAS!!! I totally told him that I was that sprinter and I could say it with a clear conscience.

Only thing is..I was actually playing a prank on Molly and Logan at the time. I told Molly that I was a runner now and so I dressed up and got ready for what looked like a run. (I was actually just gonna go on a contemplative walk to listen to my new itunes, but she had no idea)

So I started on my walk, but knew full well that Molly and Logan would be driving up soon. When I knew they could see me, I started to SPRINT as fast as I could for a long time until they were out of sight. I actually got shin splints over it, but I totally had them fooled! "WOW! Abby really takes her running seriously." thought my shocked sister. Too bad I paid the price and have been in utter ruin ever since. At least a guy at church totally thought I was one of "those girls". At least he even asked me, that in itself is compliment enough. haha

Truth is, I really have done better in school and exercised more than ever before and it makes me realize that we do have what it takes to change ourselves for the better. I have been trying to be more of the person that a teacher would refer to, and it actually came to pass. I love to realize more and more how we can reach an even higher potential than we ever imagined thanks to the strength and support that comes from Christ!

But don't worry...I won't ever change TOO much. Life is just more fun when you don't take life soooooo seriously. (aka obsessed with school or working out allll the live long day.) I am Abby and I always will be Abby which is fine with me. Like I said a few days ago: "The Pumpkin Patch is only as lame as you are, and I am definitely not lame." I am happy with who God made me to be, but doing well in what God has called me to do is important, too. :)

*Am I being punk'd?! NO…BETTER!!!*

I came to a new wonderful conclusion while watching "When in Rome" the other day. The first scene is the leading lady talking about her ex as he walks up behind her. He turns her around and says suddenly "I was wrong…I thought that I couldn't love someone who was so obsessed with her work, but now I know I can". So her friends are like "OH MY GOODNESS!! HE says he's wrong!!!" and they THOUGHT they overheard him saying he wants to marry her so they start the band and a big congratulatory music set arises. The only problem is..what he REALLY said was the he found a woman who is obsessed with her work and he's going to marry THAT girl. So basically the whole room is dancing around celebrating her engagement that is nothing more than an embarrassing mix up. It zeros in on her face dramatically and I related in that moment all too well.

The good news is it's GREAT that I could relate. Why would that be great, you ask? Because it means I'm being set up to be the greatest heroine of all time! (Now, I'm not talking about the drug Heroine, because Macy got a little confused on that one.) I am talking about the leading lady whose love story is worth making a movie about. The one who watches everything work out for everybody else while her life gets more awkward and heart breaking by the minute. Some people have a smooth pathway to love and everything turns out just right. But that's not the case for a heroine…no…if you look closely at romantic comedies the main character is usually the one who has gone through many tortured moments and is in a position that nobody really wants to be in. She is the one everyone prays will be comforted so they don't feel so bad about being happy.

But she's supposed to have it rough. That's why she's the heroine! What we love about her is that things work out even though she's always been the quirky girl who watches everyone else fall in love and has had her life constantly in utter shambles. She has to live an awkward record scratching life before her love story can be intriguing and fun to watch. Things may not be easy, but in the end she is the one who has a movie about her life. It wouldn't be interesting if she didn't make a complete fool out of herself and spend many nights with only ben and jerry for company. And in my case..having people figure out which one of the twins I am by grabbing my hand and saying as loudly as possible: "NOPE! It's Abby..NO RING. Are you okay by the way? How are you umm..ya know..handling things. Praying for you by the way." Am I right or am I right?

Here are some examples for you:

Never Been Kissed- the completely freakazoid girl hasn't even kissed anyone and has gone through a tortured life being a fashionless nerd. She then gets to go back to highschool and fall in love with a hottie teacher who gives her the best first kiss of her life. I know this because I rewound it a couple of times the first time I watched it. It was just too cute to watch only once.

While You Were Sleeping- weird train station girl finally gets the chance to fall in love when she she fakes being the fiance of the man she's been in love with for sometime. Smashed by a truck and unconcious, he has no way of stopping her. She actually falls in love with his brother, though, but that's beside the point. The love that came from that train wreck and her foolish lies would not be as interesting if she wasn't a creepy stalker at a train station with nothing going for her. JUST SAYIN.

Legally Blond- When she thinks she's being proposed to she's really being dumped. She has the same face I referred to earlier and it only gets worse from there. She has to start from the bottom up and her ex chooses a prude with too much seriousness in her tone of voice to marry instead. Luckily, everything works out for Elle and if it just worked out all along that wouldn't even be any fun, now would it?!

Classic Cinderella- She's gotta take her chance with the fireplace before she has any chance to take on love. Rags to riches…terrible circumstances to glorious dancing at the ball.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding- Unattractive shy girl who slowly creeps behind the counter and has never had a man even look her way finally hits her big break. Everything is terrible, and then mr. long locks walks in and changes her life forever.

27 Dresses- Girl has to watch everyone else and their moms get married while she just has a closet full of bridesmaid dresses. How disappointing would it be if she was the first to get married and everything turned out right?! BOOOORING. A movie can't be made from that weak storyline! Unless something goes wrong and the man turns out to have lied about the fact that he's actually a hermaphrodite, there's no movie to be made.

Now, I know what you're thinking…why is she even saying all this? Why does she even have to realize that she may be in the midst of being set up to be the greatest heroine in the history of the world? She's incredible and amazing and beautiful and I hear she's a prodigy child. She's single and 22 and has the world at her fingertips! And saying that would be correct. Being single and 22 IS very normal….but being single at 22 with a twin sister who is married? WELL…people tend to take that a little differently. Just ask the folks who are worried about me and ask my family how I'm doing. ORRRR ask the people who come up to me and say "WOW. You must be such a strong woman. I could NEVER do it." (insert my awkward what do I say face here)

All I know is this…..the things that happen to me are SO bizarre and ridiculous that it's almost comical. My love life throughout my life has been soo tragic and awkward that it only makes since that I'll be the leading lady one day. Infact, it makes me remember back to my first awkward/horrifying love situation in seventh grade. I REALLY liked this boy back then and we hung out a lot but he never saw me as more than a friend. But FINALLY when February came around he approached me with love in his eyes. "What do you think a girl your age would like for Valentine's Day?!" he asked excitedly. My heart beat faster and my palms became sweaty…ohhh my GOSH! Is this what I think it is?! "Umm..you know, flowers, chocolates, a card or something." I said back as cool as I could.Then he looked at me and said in what felt like the loudest tone ever: "GREAT! Katie will LOVE it!" Did I mention that Katie was one of my best friends? Hot blonde with shapely firm legs. Yep. That best friend.

It's one of those things where it's like there's no way this would happen to anybody else. I even had a pinecone fall on my head when I was at my wits end a few years ago after I flung myself dramatically in the grass. It just DOESN'T happen. That's why I'm here to let you know in advance that my life story will be one of the greatest stories in the history of all time.

Soooo..next time I am put in a situation that makes me cry out: "Am I being punkd?!"... I can confidently move forward and know that my story is just getting that much better.

*Reminder*

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5

First of all, can I just say that spelling "Deuteronomy" by memory is quite a difficult task. Even though this particular book of the bible is hard to spell and kind of awkward looking, it's definitely got an important message to share. Over the past couple of days I've really felt the Lord tugging on my heart and reminding me of this verse and how important it is to Him.

Many, many times in my life the Lord has ripped all of my deepest dependencies out from under me. It's usually been a person and where I felt the most confident and secure. Each time was an extremely painful and bloody process, but every time I gained so much more than I lost. I learned how to put the Lord first because I had no other choice, which was so generous and merciful of the Lord to allow. Finding out where my true security lies when all I have left is me and God is one of the most important things I've learned in my life. I wouldn't say that I want it to happen again, but if it comes to that I'd be willing. We are in a good place when our dependency is in God alone. It's easy to feel like we can get our security from people or nice circumstances, but that's not the case. People are imperfect,unpredictable, and unable to give us the security and protection that the Lord wants to give us.

Sometimes I find myself basing how I feel about my day on how the people I care most about have been treating me. I read something today that I really needed to hear concerning this:
"If you let your basic well being depend on another person's behavior, you elevate that person to a position only the Lord should occupy. It is not only displeasing to the Lord, but destructive. Because people are not perfect, your life may come to resemble a roller coaster ride, subject to the mood and whims of other people. Even worse, your intimacy with the Lord may be hindered by your preoccupation with someone else."

I need to be reminded pretty often of these things because when I love people I love them with everything I have. I don't care deeply for many people, but the ones that I do, my entire heart and loyalty is given. This makes it really easy to make people my idol and care more about how they feel about me than the Lord. I know He made my heart to love deeply for a good reason, but I need to make sure I'm using it the way He intended, and not allowing it to be a major cause of footholds in my life.

I'm so glad I was reminded of this tonight because basing how I feel on how other people feel about me can get pretty exhausting. My true security is in the Lord which makes me breathe a sigh of relief because:
1.) I've known God a while now and He is always loving and accepting and 2.) He is never going to leave me, which means He's coming with me after I graduate which is good to know.

*Biking Mom and The Don'ts of Profile Pictures*

Every morning I open my window to see what's going on outside before I get ready. I usually see a runner or two jogging up the hill with gloomy frowns on and sweat running down their faces. Nobody smiles when they jog and by the looks of it, they must be having a terrifying experience. They look like sheep going to the slaughter and if you don't believe me, stare at some joggers every morning if you get the chance.

Today I happened to see an extremely thin/tan young mom riding swiftly up the hill on a bike with her baby on the back. My mouth flew open and I mouthed to her with a mad face "SHOW OFF!". That's not the kinda thing I like to see when I wake up in the morning. But the cute baby with the little helmet on the back was definitely adorable. Maybe one day i'll dress my baby up like that because it IS so cute, but nix the whole pumping tirelessly up the hill before dawn part.

On another note, I've noticed something over the past few years that needs to be addressed. It is somewhat of a modern day phenomenon if you will. Single men have the hardest time picking out profile pictures that are even a little bit okay. Attractive men find the most revolting picture they can and post it up on their page. Ladies, how many times do we want to show our girlfriends who we have a crush on only to have to say: "Oh wait, let me find another, this is a HORRIBLE picture of him!" Who is tired of having to say this?! I know I am. I think they truly think they are picking a good picture, so I've decided to make a few rules to go by in order to help any single man out there that is guilty of committing some profile picture crimes.

Profile Picture Don'ts:

1.) Don't put a picture of you shirtless showing off your muscles in the bathroom. You love your muscles more than we do, so please refrain.

2.) Don't put a picture up of you surrounded by girls. That's the most unattractive thing in the world, but at least your "boys" may think you're awesome…however,no girls will.

3.) Don't put a picture up of you and your car. We don't even know what that car is or why you happen to have it in your picture. I'm looking to see what you look like, not your car.

4.) Don't put a picture of you with a strange smile on. Ask a woman if your smile is weird, because she'll know.

5.) Don't put a picture of yourself from years ago. This is considered false advertisement in the worst sense and you should be ticketed by the police. Pick something recent.

6.) Don't put a picture of you and your latest dead animal kill. It does not stir the heart of a woman to see you with blood all over your hands and bambi mercilessly in your arms.

7.) Don't put a picture of yourself not smiling, because it makes you look like a creeper. On the creeper note…make sure you avoid any pictures where you happen to have a creeper mustache. The other phenomenon is what facial hair men think is actually appealing to us. Let me help you out here as well….Fails of facial hair= Soul patch, Random circular hair on your chin, only a mustache, and let's throw the go-t in there as well.

Now for what you SHOULD do:

1.) Do ask the girls around you if you look your best in the picture or not. They know better than you do.

2.) Do put a picture of you and a baby if you are really wishing to look attractive. Infact…there's a book which has a picture of a man shirtless on one side and a man with a baby on the other fully clothed. Studies show that a woman is more attracted to the man with the baby! SO TRUE!!!

3.) How about I just give the ultimate advice to ask the females in your life what profile picture you should choose. Even if you aren't dating, there are still girls that cross your path so use them as a resource. Men who are no longer single usually have a better profile picture and I have a sneaky suspicion that there's a woman behind it all. And if you have no women to talk to…I'm always here for you.

*A Little Quirky*

My new bathroom mate has only lived with me a couple of days and has already come to the conclusion that I'm a "quirky" person. Now, I'm not sure exactly what she's referring to, but I have definitely gotten this kind of feedback throughout my entire life. I have taken a little bit of time to search myself and see if these accusations of "quirkiness" have any sort of truth to it, and surprisingly, I found a few….

I admit it. I like paper products, okay? In fact I LOVE them. I love the way a paper towel feels when I hold it and I usually get three more than I really need just for the comfort factor. Besides, this world is a messy place, and paper products are here to help us out. I love all kinds of paper, I'm not particular to any kind. I love print paper, toilet paper, paper towels, paper plates, paper cups,napkins, posters, books…..as long as it is paper, I'm a happy girl. People say once I start buying my own paper products, i'll stop using them so much. I'm here to tell you that my budget for paper products will be a major priority.

As I've talked about in earlier blogs, I have a case of halitaphobia (a never ending fear of bad breath). I brush my teeth all the time and never forget if someone else has bad breath. I can forgive a few times, but people smelling good is very important to me. I assumed everyone else was the same way, but apparently not…my obsession is very much particular to me. A few people could use a good case of halitaphobia every once in a while if you ask me. That's a good quirk to have.

I experience the world through my nose which means I smell everything like a dog. I thought this was normal, until someone let me know it wasn't. People are quick to single out these days. I can't function if a room smells funky and I do better on my homework if I have a drier sheet to sniff. I took a drier sheet to the Praxis because those testing rooms smells very, very strange. How could I make a good grade sitting in a place like that? Bad smells are the enemies of learning!

I can't go to sleep unless my cell phone is perfectly strait and I usually take about a minute a night trying to straighten it just so. When i was little I used to have a weird issue where I would have to touch everything with both hands. Like…if my left hand brushed the wall then I had to take my right hand and brush it also. If I touched one side of my face, I had to touch the other. Everything needed to equal out. If I turned on a light switch, I had to pretend to turn it on with my other hand as well. It was a really frustrating time, because living like that is not easy, believe me!!! I remember being distressed and tired at night from my equalling out issue. Thankfully, those days are past me and I have ridden myself of that quirk! If you are a psychologist reading this, I'm sure you're having a hay day. I'm your dream come true!

I have a certain chair at home that is MY chair. I've sat in the same spot at the dinner table since I was little and get very nervous when that changes. My sister's now husband came to our house for the first time and he sat in my chair and I very politely had to let him know how the house works. "That's MY chair." I said with a smile. Everyone started laughing, but I was staring at the chair with a very serious intention of getting it back. Mom gets me in trouble sometimes because she says I need to be able to move chairs, but it's a little more complicated than just "moving chairs".

I love windows. I can stare out windows for a long time and the whole educational department can vouch for me. Between classes I just stand like a creeper at the window looking out. The first thing I do every morning is open my window and look at everything outside for about five minutes. It gets my day started out in the best way. I think I might be an outdoorsy person because I like windows so much, but it's just a better situation if it's inside the glass.

I am a recovering germophobe. I think about the germs crawling everywhere on a daily basis. I love anti bacterial, it's my best friend. I'm not grossed out by the germs of nature, but I am very grossed out by the germs of humans. I wash my hands a TON. If my hands feel in the least bit dirty, I lose all functioning. I like for my hands to smell like soap all the time which can also relate back to my smelling issue. My nose is just really keen and picky.

I always think that I have a terminal illness or something medically wrong with me. When I hear about a sickness, I feel like I'm getting it myself. It's not like I want to be this way, but my body really does start hurting!!! It's like something I can't control. If your foot hurts, my foot hurts….literally.

I guess you could call these things "quirks". But I think that everybody has them, but maybe are too afraid to come out and say it. That's what I tell myself anyway. In my world, EVERYBODY is a quirky person. It's what makes life interesting.

*Roaches and Robbers*

I'm writing to you from Macy's room, because I have fled the scene of a major incident. If you know me, you know that I have a really hard time spending the night out so this is a BIG deal. I don't want to panic anyone, but earlier today I was maturely doing my homework in bed when all the sudden I saw something out of the corner of my eye crawl on my blanket. Next thing I know a monstrosity of a roach is hopping off the covers and scurrying right beside me on the wall! I ran as fast as I could to my closet and grabbed a shoe to get rid of the problem, but all it did was make it fall onto my bed and shake violently on it's back! Guts everywhere…on my covers and on the wall!!!!! It was a VERY serious situation.

My suite mate thought I had broken a leg from my screaming and was relieved it was only a roach…...Only a roach?! ONLY A ROACH?!?!? You may laugh and say it's not big deal, but have YOU had a roach in your bed?! Walk two seconds in my shoes and then we'll talk. Luckily Jessica had a few roach traps laying around because she brought her entire household to school. We pushed my bed away from all the walls and set traps for the next beast who comes out to play. I still can't get the guts to go back into my bed, but hopefully i'll have the courage after I douse the entire room with roach killer tomorrow. It's just too late to get it now and I'm honestly really tired. For now….I'm bunking in the hibernation station. (aka Macy's room)

I have been through a great deal of strife in the past two days not only because of the roach, but also because of a robber and lockdown. A bank robber decided it'd be a good idea to run from the po po through OBU's campus not knowing our safety officers are specially trained in guerilla warfare and other scary things. We were on lockdown for two hours while the robber was having what I like to call…a REALLY bad day.

I would be lying if I told you I didn't make three panicked laps around the coffee table with my other suite mate when the "VIOLENT ACTIVITY ON CAMPUS" alarm was going off. The alarm in our building is so serious, I wish they would make it a little more light. It yelled at me and made me panic even more! If the alarm wasn't so alarming, I wouldn't have been such a mess. Luckily, we started laughing at ourselves pretty quick and 95% of the lockdown was actually really funny.

*Pants on the ground, underpants on the ground!*

I typically like to make a grand entrance when I enter a place and moving back to college was no different. You definitely know that Abby has moved to town when a whole drawer full of underwear is sprawled across the lawn. The words "Epic Fail" were created for moments such as these.

The worst part is probably the fact that the dad's in the parking lot all ran over to help with the dumped drawers. I'm good at playing the damsel in distress and actually love it, but please men…back off at times such as these. Let a girl keep a little bit of dignity! The good news is, I wasn't actually out there when it happened. Someone said I was the only person on earth who wouldn't be embarrassed by something like this, which is very false. I would have DIED if I was there. Hearing about it is super funny, because my dad was the one that had to deal with it. His words to me when I got my grassy filled garments were: "ZIPLOCK!!! Have you ever heard of it!?" Yes, I have heard of a ziplock bag, but these plastic drawers promised me more than they were able to give. I guess I was kind enough to learn the lesson of not using those drawers for everyone to know in the future. You're welcome, everyone.

So we had this welcome line for the freshman where we cheered and high fived them etc. High fiving is strange in itself, but the added awkwardness of torches and the cover of night made it even worse. My poor hand was rejected a lot and sometimes when new students were about to high five me, I accidentally pulled away. It was like nails on a chalkboard!!!! Maybe worse!!!! I think my days of meet and greet are OVER. Too much for someone as socially inept as me. I need my safety zone and in that safety zone there are absolutely NO HIGH FIVES!!!! Who made up the high five anyway? It is super weird!!!! There is nothing not weird about it!!!!!!

Luckily, I have the same room and bed as I did last year so I feel like I'm starting where I left off. Getting used to a new bed is REAAAALLLLY hard for me. I never spend the night out or anything because of it. I can't take the chance of sleeping in a bed that smells like feet and at a strangers house you just never know. I have been in some pretty sticky situations when it comes to spending the night out, which makes me very happy to be in my bed now. I have to have a bed that smells really good or I can't sleep. Good thing this bed smells great and is familiar. I love familiarity.

*Twas the night before move-in*

Tomorrow I begin the final chapter in my College career. It is about time…the novel of my college life is getting very thick. Every single year has been completely different, so I am not even trying to imagine what this year will look like. Nothing ever turns out the way I think it will at all so I have no expectations. I am feeling hopeful, though. Starting a new year always feels so great because hope is in the air and hasn't been snuffed out quite yet. I must say, I'm enjoying this optimism I'm experiencing right now.

I feel like if I wasn't moving back I'd feel a little bit left out with all the new status updates about people moving back. I bet it's super strange for the new adults who are working 9-5 jobs now and not coming back. I wonder what I'll be feeling this time next year. It's even weirder to think that I'm old enough to have an actual job right now. I wonder if I'll ever start to feel like an adult. Does anybody ever feel like one and what is it supposed to feel like, anyway?

Speaking of feelings…praise the Lord, I have gotten this miracle excitement to move back. I never thought that I'd be this happy to go because of all I have to leave behind here. My mind just goes where it needs to in order to be the happiest and cope in the best way. It's neat how minds work like that. It's almost like I have no control over my coping strategies, but I can look at the way it's working and realize what it is. I'm going to be coming home almost every weekend for my small group of ninth grade girls at church, so that's a reason to be excited, too. I have plans for almost every weekend until December which will keep me here some as well. I'll have half my heart at school and the other at home…it's weird teeter tottering between two different worlds! I'm usually completely in one or completely in the other, so I am interested to see how my brain is going to handle it.

Anyway, I guess I better get to bed since I have to wake up early. It's kinda cool how life works….I have no idea how tomorrow will go or any other day after that. It's almost like everyday is a secret that I get to find out at the end of each day.

*The Chinese Food Debacle*

When my family gets together there is usually a lot of loud, love, hugs, laughter, tears, and debacles.

Debacle(n)-1.) Complete failure 2.) Event that turns out to be a complete disaster often with humiliating consequences. 3.) A bad situation or mess up.

—Synonyms
2. disaster, ruin, fiasco, catastrophe, calamity.


Yesterday my family got together and as usual the night was full of all the loud noises, laughing, and love you could ever need in your life. Surprisingly, the night was pretty debacle free until about 8pm when everybody got hungry for some Chinese. Nana said they could order Chinese food as long as they only ordered what they could eat. She didn't want a fridge full of take-out like she's had in the past. 411 seemed to be the answer to all the family's problems and so they dialed it up with haste….

Information answered and gave them the magic number and an enormous order took place. "Fried rice…we'll take 50 of those please! Egg rolls...enough to feed an army, miss. Chicken…every kind you have would be pleasing." When the call was over, my cousin went to Fulin's to pick it up, but when she arrived something was amiss. The faint smell of a debacle was in the air, but nobody realized it just yet. The lady at the counter said it hadn't been called in and had no idea what order she was talking about. The obvious thing to do was to re-order the enormous list of food again and wait for it to cook. They must have forgotten to write it down, right?

Once the food was ready, my cousin took it home to all the hungry family members. While they were chowing down the phone kept ringing and ringing, but no one picked it up. Finally someone answered and a Chinese sounding woman said with frustration: "Nobody answer phone!!! This is Hunan's! Your order ready!"

Hunan's?!?! Who ordered Hunan's?! Apparently information messed up and gave them the number to Hunan's instead of Fulin's. My family tried to explain what happened, but they had cooked so much food and were very upset that we weren't going to pick it up. Apparently the excuse "My family is too loud, I couldn't hear when you said 'Hello, this is Hunan's" was not good enough. My poppy said they should just go pay for it because it was the right thing to do. So out they went again bringing two huge cardboard boxes of food home with them.

My nana now has two fridge fulls of Chinese take-out and so do all my aunts and uncles. Today my aunt said we should go try and find a family who is praying for take-out and burst through their door. We never got around to that, though.

*I told the story using the word "they", because I wasn't actually there. I left about thirty minutes before thinking that they were not going to order take-out. I heard rumors of it, but was very upset to hear that they decided against it. We made a pan of cheese toast around 6:00pm or so, but it was rationed out pretty tightly. I was starving by the time I got home and craving Chinese which is just really funny to me. We were together again tonight and laughed for so long over the chinese food debacle. SO worth it for the hilarious aftermath and sight of the fridge full of food.

*The Scandalous Burrito*

My cousin has been at Pom camp these past few days which has given me some flashbacks to my days at camp. It's basically a week where you push yourself to the limit and feel like a train ran over you by the end of the week. Staying up till 4am to practice was normal, just to get up at 7am to practice some more. We eat, sleep, and breathe dance. It almost feels like there's nothing else in the world for those few days. For the record, I got superior blue ribbons for every single dance I did at camp. I always talk about how I'm not talented, so I gotta throw that in there. I have talents, they just don't come in handy because they aren't practical. For example, I rule at Twister but how can I nonchalantly show somebody that?! I can pull my leg up to my face without stretching for years, but whose to know?! I'm a closet prodigy if you will.

At camp we also have team dances that we learn and are judged on by the end of the week. Our pom squad was super serious about winning, so they decided that we should just skip lunch and keep on practicing. You know…get a one up on the other squads while they ate. I hadn't slept in days because I stayed up practicing my dances and was super sore from "Cheer robes" which was a work-out we did every morning right after breakfast. I was very tired and the last thing I wanted to do was practice during lunch. I'm all about practicing and working hard, but there's a point when it just gets ridiculous! There's more to life than missing a burrito for some ribbon. I mean, a burrito gives so much more love back than a dinky little ribbon!!! That's how I saw it through my tired and hungry mindset anyway. Winning has never had much draw for me….all my blue ribbons are long gone by now, but I can still smell those burritos clear as day.

During the discussion about missing lunch I raised my tired hand and calmly explained that I really needed that burrito to make it through without punching someone out. Tired AND hungry is not a good combination! Besides…we were working out ALL THE TIME! The capatin was not happy with my suggestion to eat…NOT AT ALL. She saw it as I was not committed, but I saw it as a way to keep our sanity and not get committed.

The sponser was thinking logically and thought it was best if we were allowed to eat and gave us a choice: We could either go grab a delicious burrito or stay there and practice hungry and irritable. Some girls decided to stay but more girls decided to ban with me and get a burrito for themselves. We decided that the taste of the burrito would far outweigh any drama that would erupt from our decision. People have their rights, you know. After working out for hours and hour, lunch is the bare minimum right.

I lead my troops bravely to the lunch line and showed them where to sit. We ate and laughed at the situation until our sides hurt. With every bite we were partaking in the biggest scandal in Pom Camp history. We returned later to a disgruntled captain and few other hungry girls. "How was the burrito?!" they asked angrily "It was great! Best burrito I ever had." I said with a smile. Because well…you can smile when you aren't starving.

*Famous*

I had a sudden flashback to a day at school while brushing my teeth this morning. I saw five little girls crowded around me at the sink watching me with curious gazes. This time they were a figment of my imagination, but on a few occasions they've been very real. I took my toothbrush to work everyday, because in my mind nobody should go all those hours without keepin the hygiene up. When 3:00 rolled around, everybody knew it was time for me to brush my teeth.

I brushed my teeth every afternoon, but on a particular day five little girls started following me to the door saying "Can we watch?! Can we watch?! PLEASE!!!". "Well, it's not that interesting, but okay..you can come." I felt like a mother duck because we all walked in a line, me leading at the front. "You're famous, Miss Abby!" one little girl said to me from behind. I looked back in that moment and saw those smiling girls walking behind me, and I started to laugh. haha...me? famous? That's funny. I never have had so many people interested in watching me brush my teeth before and I doubt it'll ever happen again.

*Dad's Dating Advice (Ultimate Low)*

I hate that I'm typing these words right now, but the other day my dad started giving me dating advice. He referred to dating as "fishing" and said if I wanted to catch the attention of a particular gentlemen, I need to be the bait. If I see a guy who tickles my fancy, I should sit in front of him so he can see my great hair (dad's words not mine) and waft my perfume in his general direction. I'm also apparently supposed to act like he's "just another guy". I am not good at playing the nonchalant card, so I fear I'm doomed to failure. Either way, the advice was about how to be the bait, not taking into consideration my shortcomings. Once you put yourself out there you will have to throw some fish back, others won't take the bait, and one you will finally keep. Being the bait means that you're not pursuing but putting yourself out there and showing men what they're missing. At least…that's what dad says.

As my parents were leaving to go to a movie they yelled at me from the door: "Happy Fishing!" ….I desperately yelled back: "I'm not fishing!!! I can't believe my life has come to this! I can't be bait…I can't take anymore rejection or i'll just die!" and my dad replied back: "Well good, you can live with us forever then!"

"live with us forever…forever…foreverrrrr" echoed like a scary funhouse in my mind. Back in high school my parents couldn't get me to stop dating, now I'm being told to waft my perfume!!!! I don't want to fish!!! I hate worms and crickets! The last thing I want to be is bait!!!! Do I look like a girl who likes to fish?!?! The answer to that is NO. Please, God…please say it ain't so. Say it hasn't come to my dad having to give me dating advice. That's like an ultimate low.

Now, we all know that my parents are not making me feel like I need to date right now. This advice was meant to be taken now or years from now, but even so…..it was not a conversation I ever wanted to have.

*112 Pets*

The good news is, I am feeling 100% better about my quarter life crisis than I was before. Mostly because of Jesus and also because of the show "Hoarding Animals". The lady on the show lived in a trailer and had 15 cats and 97 dogs. The moment I heard that my lungs started caving in and I yelled to my friends: "I need oxygen!!!"

Not only could you not see the floor because of all the dogs, but they were pooping freely and apparently cost a TON of money. She didn't need to live the trailer life, but she chose to so her "children" would be able to live there, too. She married Bucky the love of her life who sadly died a year later….Larry was her next husband, but the pet issue became too much. Now her third husband Don is on his last leg and very unhappy with her 112 pets. He has to work two to three jobs to support them and Don is on his last limb. Calling a tv show to bring cameras into their personal life is the only way to save the failing marriage.

I tried to decide last night which would be worse: Being stuck on the Deadliest Catch boat in -49 degree weather with my life on the line everyday, or in a trailer full of 112 animals. That is a reallly hard decision to make, because both are pretty much terrible. But honestly? I think I'd choose to go out to see with the boys before I lived in a trailer with that many pets. I'd actually go out to sea before allowing a real dog to sleep in my bed with me come to think of it. But then again…the boat smells like fish and cigarettes so that is just as bad. If I had surgery to take away my sense of smell, both would be easier to cope with.

Let's just say I'm really happy with my life because I'm not in either of those situations. It could be worse…it could ALWAYS be worse.

*Relief*

I was woken up by the Lord tonight and at just the right time. Not only did I really need a word from the Lord, but I was also in the middle of a Deadliest Catch nightmare. I'm so glad to be awake at 3:42 am and not in Alaska on a Deadliest Catch boat in -49 degree weather. Me and Kate were both there and believe it or not….it was much worse than summer camp.

For the past few weeks I've been experiencing a major quarter life crisis. It's a crisis that nobody really prepares you for, because it's not really talked about. I think it's because people feel bad for having the quarter life crisis, like there's something wrong with them for feeling this way. I'm referring to the crisis that unexpectedly comes when you are coming to the end of your college career. You're trying to figure out where your life is going and realize things aren't how you thought they'd be. By now we've kinda all figured out that life is NOT like a box of chocolates, but more like a cool stream that we put our feet in only to be bitten by a large parana. Just when we feel secure and have life finally figured out…that little parana takes a bite out of our toe again and we feel like we don't know anything anymore. All of the optimists out there tell me life's a dance, you learn as you go….but dancing has always been fun to me. Life is not fun all the time. Let's just stop with saying all the right things for a minute and tell it like it is….every human being has times when life just feels BAD. Even when our life appears to be looking pretty good.

If you are looking for a cheesy cliche line that will make you feel good about life, that isn't coming today. I highly doubt you will ever hear anything like that from me. Cheesy lines about dreams and how life is like a wonderful day at the beach….not really my aim. My aim is to actually tell it like it is, not just make you feel good for two seconds of your life. I'm not here to make you believe everyone else but you feels like life is a box of chocolates. People feel like they are the only ones with hard times, because we upload all of our happy photos and freely throw out cute little quotes without actually talking about what's going on. We all give so much energy to make others feel like we have it together and are "LIVING,LAUGHING, and LOVING!" even when we don't always have it together. There are definitely times in life that ARE great and fun, but sometimes life IS hard. That is just a fact. But bare with me, because I am not bringing tidings of only negativity….there is HOPE by the end of all this.

Until tonight I haven't been able to freely talk to the Lord because I've felt very guilty for being in the funk I've been in lately. I feel like logically I have been very blessed and the Lord has given me more than I need. I feel kinda embarassed and wrong for admitting I feel this way. But emotionally, I'm discouraged and experiencing a taste of my quarter life crisis. I'm scared to be an adult, but I'm tired of being a child. I'm not sure at all what my life will look like and that is a scary feeling. My funk has not been pretty, but it's been there non-the-less. It's time I come to terms with the fact that my life may not look the way I was so sure it would look all those years growing up. I am on the edge of my adulthood and I will go into adulthood alone. I'm on the edge of adulthood and I feel more unsure than ever about my competencies. I figured once I was adult all my fear would just go away….adults seemed so brave, but I don't feel very brave. I feel scared to death!!! I'm glad I can't go back and tell my child self all this, cause I'd probably pass out from stress. I was supposed to be married two years ago and already have my first kid and be super awesome. I wanted my life to be just like my moms, but God has a different plan for us all. And no matter what someone's life looks like on the outside, we are all in a fallen world and have struggles of our own. Nobody gets outta this place without a little heartache. And if you are a drama queen like me…a little heartache can feel like an earthquake. That's one bad thing about having such a "passionate" personality. haha

My funk was much worse considering I was getting really tired of hiding the way I'm feeling and trying to say and do the right things even when I was praying. Again…my quarter life crisis is not really justified I don't think, because I am so blessed and therefore whining to God about it seemed wrong. That's what makes it even worse! I should be the happiest kid on the block! Or adult on the block….I really don't know what I am!!! See?! Identity crisis galore! Students think I'm an old lady, but old people think I'm a kid. Who am I? What am I? I am old to most college kids, but young to the people actually living in the real world. It's like a Junior high confused phase all over again!!!!

The good news is tonight I got some relief when I realized I was believing a lie about the Lord. I thought that He would be disappointed in me for feeling this way and want me to come to Him with only happy words because that's what He deserves. But no…He doesn't want to just hear my happy words. He wants to hear my heart…the good, the bad, the ugly. When I was woken up a few minutes ago, I felt like I was supposed to open this book I haven't even looked at in a long time. I opened it up randomly to these words:

"The One to whom we pray knows our feelings. He knows temptation. He has felt discouraged. He has been hungry and sleepy and tired. He knows what we feel like when the alarm clock goes off. He nods in understanding when we pray in anger. He is touched when we tell Him there is more to do than can be done. He wants us to confess our weariness. He, too, was human. He wants us to know that he, too, knew the drone of the humdrum and the weariness that comes with long days."

I felt so much relief after reading this…a relief I've been really needing to feel for a couple of weeks now. I felt the Holy Spirit so distinctly while I read and a lightbulb went off in my head about the lie I'd been believing. I'd been so scared to tell the Lord how I was truly feeling and been caught up in doing what I thought was the right thing. I felt I was supposed to just be "spiritual" and play the "God is enough so I should always be happy" card. The bible says that Jesus was a man of many sorrows….if we are always supposed to have it together and be full fledged excited about life, then why would Jesus of begged God to take away the day of His death if there was any way? Does that sound like He was completely gung ho with a smile on His face about God's will for Him??? Not really…sounds like He poured out His heart to the Lord and was discouraged hardcore. Crying out to the Lord didn't change God's plan, but it did show that we are able to talk to the Lord with our innermost thoughts and feelings. I think He'd rather have the realness of that than the holy words we are "supposed" to say. And Jesus was given the power He needed to do God's will. It wasn't always pretty and it wasn't always fun……but in the end it was DEFINITELY best I would say. We have an inheritance to the Kingdom of Heaven because of that plan for Jesus, and I know He'd agree it was worth it.

After I read that paragraph, I felt like the floodgates had finally opened and I just told the Lord how I truly felt. A few minutes later I had a realization that I hadn't had before…."Jesus, You were once my age on this earth weren't you? What was it like?" and I heard that small voice inside of me that had been drowned out by fear say very clearly: "It was hard." I couldn't help but smile….He's not up in Heaven looking down on my discouragement with anger, but with understanding. That wasn't it, though. Of course it wasn't! He is a God of hope. Do you know what He said next? "The power that helped me make it through my life of many sorrows is the same power available to you."

Relief. Relief that I'm not being judged for how I feel. Relief that I'm not condemned when my emotions get out of control. Relief that I was only believing a lie about God that wasn't true. Relief that He would rather see the broken sides of me than those perfect holy words that sound amazing. God is not a God who is up in the sky watching us from afar…No…He is like a father who kneels down to be on the same level as a child. He is a father that is willing to get blood on His hands when we have a skinned knee. He is a God who is willing to have tears and snot on His shoulder on those nights that we feel hopeless. He is going through every feeling and situation in our lives with us and understands us completely. Not only that, He is there to hold us up by our right hand and rescue us from all our trials. He brings us hope that one day things will be perfect, and the life we have longed for will come to pass through eternity.

God is not here to judge….He is here to give us hope in a world that feels hopeless sometimes. He understands being discouraged. He understands the quarter life crisis. Let's stop just trying to be all holy, and actually talk to the Lord with some real words in order to get the help and power we need. Admitting we are broken and discouraged opens up doors for the Lord to help and comfort. And we need His help and comfort.

*I needed a point*

I started to suspect during a College class last year that I might be special. It hadn't really crossed my mind before, because my parents have always treated me like a prodigy. "I am proud of you!" they would say all the time. I'd search my brain to see what I could have done to be proud of. My C in math? Talking too much in class? Notes picked up and thrown away by an angry teacher? I know it couldn't of been my awards or sports endeavors, because those had all failed miserably. Even so, my parents were very proud of my "Personality". Mom used to say:"Even if you don't do well in school and are not athletic, the most important thing is that you are friendly and kind and love Jesus!"

So I kept living life up until last year thinking I was quite normal…nothing out of the ordinary. That is until we started learning how to deal with special students in our class that needed something different. There were scenerios we went through and one day the student she was speaking of sounded EXACTLY like me. "I think I might be special!!!!" I said out loud to the class. Everyone was laughing and thinking I was kidding, but I wasn't. I was being very serious. I was that little Johnny we were speaking of, and I needed something different.

There were only so many times I could sing a Shirley Method song without wanting to throw myself out the window. There was only so long I could sit there without bouncing in my chair or getting up to look at the fish. Apparently these were bad things, but my teacher didn't seem to understand. What she wanted to do was the bad thing to me! It was a crime….getting out of my chair to look at the fish was so much more interesting and fun than having to read my leveled books. Me and my twin were the only ones stuck on level one. All of the other kids would brag and carry on about what color they were on. I was stuck at the beginners level and can still feel the frustration i'd get every time. I'd cry because I really had no idea what was going on and my teacher was really scary. Not to mention the first level was not even a cute color, it was a drab color. The pretty colors I liked came after you had mastered the yucky colors. I stopped caring about school when I realized I couldn't keep up with the other kids. What was the point of feeling miserable and inadequate? What was the point of doing things that made me cry all the time and realize how dumb I was? I could see a lot of point in getting out of my chair and enjoying life trying to further my friendships. That was MUCH more important than giving the type A personalities their fix by letting me know how much better they were than me. It's all about perspective and priorities. My priorities were completely different than my teacher's were and most of the other students come to think of it. I needed a point…a reason to do what I was doing that I never got. Therefore, my mind was elsewhere.

I can now see some of my students having different priorities than me, but I can understand them in a lot of ways. What goes around certainly comes around! But at least I can remember what I felt and feel a little empathy. When I teach, I'm going to make sure I let my class know the reasons why we do what we do. I'm going to make sure that the students like me never have to stay in the dark or feel unsafe when they are not at the same level as other students. I might have lost all of my motivation for school that I carried through my entire life because of one year in elementary school. My first year of school really shaped how I feel about school, and it was a bad experience. That gives me a lot of reason to do my best and keep moving forward through this year. And i'll try to keep an open mind and not just think that my priorities are the only priorities. Sometimes you just gotta let someone bounce in their chair and keep livin life. Maybe that bounce every once in a while gets them by. Or maybe they are just looking for a point.

*All up in your business*

A true best friend is all up in your business. Earlier today I put a six page letter I got on my bed to put somewhere else a little later. I was running to get to my Monday night TV, so I figured it'd be fine there for a while. Well, in the middle of one commercial I said I had to go write a thank you message to the person who had sent me the letter. Turns out my best friend Kate knew exactly what I was talking about when I said this. I curiously looked at her as we had this conversation:
"How do you know? Did you read the letter on my bed?"-Me
"Uh, YES! It was six pages long, of course I was gonna look!"-Kate
"Oh, okay! Does this mean I can rummage through your room, too?"-Me
"Of course."-Kate

There are no secrets between us that is for certain. We are all up in each other's business and I think it's a good thing. I love it that I have someone in my life who would be curious enough to go through my mail. That's actually really sweet if you think about it. If it were me in the same situation, I'd love her enough to do the same. I'd love a lot of people enough to do the same, actually. :)

Speaking of being all up in each others business…today we had a dinner conversation about how we sometimes get our nosy sides fed through "prayer request time." If someone is going through juicy drama, all you gotta say is"How can I pray for you…tell me in DETAIL" and it somehow makes it okay. You can find all the latest gossip in a prayer circles a lot of times, don't you worry about that one! I might be the only one bold enough to admit that fact, but we all know it's true.

*Kamp Letters-Oh, the horror*

My parents have never said that I am the black sheep of the family, but I have questioned that at times. I guess it's because I've been the reason for more advil than any of the other kids, and I think you'll get a better idea of what I mean in a minute. Again…mom and dad would never say that….feel free to decide for yourself which child caused the most grief after you read this. *Disclaimer* (I know many people love Kanakuk, so don't be offended by what I say. It's only my opinion and does not reflect the camp as a whole. It only reflects the camp in my world, and this blog is a glimpse into my world as the words at the top explain.)

When I was 15 years old I went to Kanakuk and had the most horrific 2 weeks of my life. To let my parents know about my dire circumstances, I wrote them this letter::

Hey Mom and Dad!
How are you? Let me just say I am NEVER coming here again. It's the worst. I cry myself to sleep every night. My counselor is such a dud. I've never seen her smile once and she is ALL about the rules. Our other two counselors are nice, but they have no idea what's going on. I don't have many friends. No one in our cabin is talkative what-so-ever! I have never been so bug bitten in my life! Our cabins are infested with chiggers. I have living things on my body itching and all in my bed!!! I'd rather be in jail than here right now. At least the inmates have air conditioning and water. Will you come pick me up now?!?!?! Katelind hates it so much, she's losing weight fast and can't help it! We exercise ALL THE TIME!!!! Mom, Dad…I'm dying here. NEVER AGAIN. You can't pay me to come back! I miss ya'll so much! I have to go back to hell, frankly. GOOD-BYE! Be thankful you aren't here!!! Oh, how the days DRAAAG. AHHH!!! -Abby
P.S. Pray for me A LOT! LIKE A LOT!!!! I am contemplating cutting off my leg!!!!!!


Now here is a letter my little brother sent from the SAME kamp:


Hey Mom and dad,
I am having a blast at kamp. I am not in a cabin with anyone I know, but I am making some great friends. I went on the huge slide today and it was so much fun. I was sitting here thinking how I am blessed with such good parents. I love ya'll so much. I miss ya'll, but I am not homesick. I love you and I'll see you in two weeks! -Pug
P.S. My counselors are great and I am in good hands so don't worry!


I mean….there is a stark difference in the stress level of these children I would say. I realize that I might have been a LITTLE dramatic, but I needed to get a point across. My mom was very angry at me when she picked me up because she said it made her worry too much and there was nothing she could do. Apparently it was cruel to send that letter home, but I was just sending out an SOS. Ask Katelind…she had to make it through those two weeks with me. We will never forget how much they made us run up a huge hill in the sun with only bad tasting water awaiting us. It should be called fat camp if you ask me!!! Many people swear by Kanakuk, which is great for them. But if you have no athletic abilities or talent and hate the outdoors…a sports camp is not for you. Just sayin.

Which child would you get more stress from????? Mom and dad can claim there is no blacksheep in the family, but that doesn't fool me! Just kidding... I really don't think there is a blacksheep, but you definitely can't get any better than my brother on the writing home thing. But in my defense, he is athletic and everyone loves him and he excels at whatever he does. One of my students asked me what I was good at the other day and I said "Well, I don't really know." Then he went through a list: "Basketball?" no "Softball?" no "Grades?" no "Singing?" no "Math?" no "Driving?" no "Cooking?" no….."Eating?" Yes. Then my student said very sweetly: "Well, there ya go! You ARE good at something….eating!"

Oh, my life.

*Shocking Status'*

There are things I find so shocking in my newsfeed on facebook. This is not a complaint or critique, just an observation. I personally do not communicate intimidate details of my heart via fb status', but who am I to judge the ones that do? I sometimes wonder if some people have lost their phones, because it appears that a few people have their intimate conversations typed out through status changes. My nosy side enjoys it for sure, but I also feel tired after reading some of the drama. It's amazing what people will spill to the world!!! I have a few examples of what I'm talking about, but they are not REAL examples. People who have these types of things on their fb page are probably in denial and have no idea i'm talking about them, so I won't make anyone aware. That would be just plain rude. We all live in our own little world with our own views of the universe that helps us sleep at night. It's always the other person, right? I may even be the pot calling the kettle black right now, but ignorance is bliss, my friend!!! Anyway…back to the shocking status' I'm speaking of.

First we have your classic status from a boy who has just been cheated on by his lover and the only way to communicate is through a fb status. It's all he can do to the find the right words…he shakes as he types:
"I love you deeply and my heart is bleeding over our love lost. It was my fault we kept fighting about your mom who stalks me, but I was wrong. I forgive you for cheating last Thursday at 6:17 pm. I need you. I am crying on my pillow. My pillow is very, very damp tonight."

Next we have the daughter who has just been in a huge fight with her mom. The mother has told her that she needs to stop laying around all day and get a job. The girl does the first thing that comes to mind and gets her fb status ready!:
"My mother is a crazed lunatic!!!! Tell all your friends! PLEASE! She wants me to get a job, can you BELIEVE that?! Comment and tell me how i'm completely in the right."

Another status that is always quite entertaining to me are the ones from the over the top relationships that are glad to share every intimate detail of their love life:
"Today me and my lifelong love kissed and realized our lives are perfect. We talked about how we were going to spend forever together and he even gave me twelve roses for the twelve reasons why I'm the perfect girl. Baby, I love you. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!!! And it's even more true because I just put it on this fb status."

Then you have the status that makes you worry about the cell phones that have clearly been destroyed in a terrible accident, because fb status is the only way to communicate at this time:
"You should think twice before you say something like that to me. I am so hurt by you!"
"You are the reason I smile when I wake up in the morning. What you said to me last night made my heart smile."
"You need to realize how you make me feel….i am always here, waiting for you to come around."
"You were my best friend but now you stole my boyfriend for the last time!"
(First of all...who is "you"…if you are making it that public anyway, don't leave me hanging! And second of all…call "You" and talk to them yourself!!!! It's easier that way!)


Honestly, I change my fb status like three times a day, so I could make a whole blog making fun of my own self. Just sayin. That is all for now.

*Five Non-negotiables*

**Disclaimer** I am usually not a fan of writing things like this, but I feel like it's important!!! I am not as mooshy gooshy as this comes off, but this is good advice that I think is worth following. I firmly believe in everything this says.

My grandpa gave me a sermon by Tommy Nelson that really gives some great insight and advice to anyone who is single out there. It reminded me how much waiting is truly worth it, because it may be lonely to be single, but it's MUCH worse to be married and lonely. Settling for a life partner is NOT an option. I don't care how dire the situation may seem, NEVER SETTLE. We need to believe and trust the Lord to bring the right person and not try to force things ourselves stamping the Lord's name on it! I have seen many people unknowingly ruin their lives on their wedding day because they didn't think about these five IMPORTANT things. This sermon has come at the perfect time for me because I've been tempted to let out feelings for guys that are definitely not lining up with these five points. I mean, having a twin sister married does not come without it's panicky moments! Mary-Kate and Ashley always had a man at the same time, so wouldn't I, too? haha But let me tell you this…. no matter how many times I'm a third wheel and feel as though i'll never find anyone, settling is NOT an option. And I truly hope you feel the same way! No matter how emotionally draining it can be, stick to what you know is right. I think the Lord will bless us for it!

*Five Non-negotiables*

1.) You and the person must be in complete theological unity. Your perception of God must be the exact same. This means that the person must not just be a Christian, you should completely be one minded in everything theologically. Our perception of who God is drives our decisions and the way we view the world. How can a marriage be in union if you view the whole universe in a different way? In my own life, I couldn't marry a man who puts God inside a box. I need someone who is truly driven by the Holy Spirit and knows that there is much more to experience with Christ than merely religion! Church drives me crazy because it's so superficial sometimes!!! I need a man who understands what I'm saying when I tell Him how I felt the Holy Spirit and how He moves in my life. Someone who believes and knows that there is a major spiritual battle going on and we need to fight daily! Superficial Christianity….not gonna be in my equation. But he can't be legalistic! I make the legalistic Christians out there stare with their mouths open in shock. I am not by any means your cliche Christian nor will I ever be. But theology….it HAS to HAS to be the same. You gotta make sure EVERY aspect matches up! Not just some of it!!!!!

2.) You must have complete moral unity. If you have a man or woman who lives life for the flesh even though he/she can recite the gospels and give a time of their testimony, we've got a problem! It doesn't matter if they attend church every Sunday, have religious fb status', or can talk your ear off about the Lord all day long. DO they keep their word? WHAT do they do with their Friday nights? Who do they hang around with? Do they settle for lower moral standards to please their flesh? AGAIN being "a Christian" is NOT enough. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!!!! Listen to this next sentence because it is crucial you hear it: **** If a man is superficial with God you have NO GUARANTEE that he is going to maintain the values he had on your wedding day.**** Many of men have tooted their religious horns loudly to win over the woman they love. Trust me, that has happened to me on a few occasions!!! So I know that's true! IF he likes to go out and drink the night away yet has "given his life to Jesus", that's a red flag. The man or woman MUST be of the same moral character! Watch how he/she treats their family…make sure in their single lives they have not created an illusion or diversion to make things 'easier'.
***illusion- Goes to church, sing the songs, quote the verses, but deep in the heart not following Christ.
***Diversion- Going to people, relationships, things and not dealing with true heart issues. Must know how to stand alone with only God at their side.

3.) Your future mate has to be of ministerial unity with you. Are you going in the same direction? Are the ways you spend your time and what you feel is important in union? A woman who is following hard after Christ cannot marry a man who simply wants to make a million by 30. Her values are in a completely different place. You must come together running the same direction. Do you have to move your values and dreams to force yourself to fit with that person? Are your goals different or are they the same? If you are single, don't just sit there and wait around for that life partner, keep moving on with your life and go towards your passions. "If you are running in a certain direction and out of the corner of your eye you see someone running that same way, it's worth a second look." (that cheesy line was by the guy, not me….although I am guilty of cheesy lines at times.)

4.) You must have a genuine passion and attraction to the person. If a pastor asks you: "How is your sexual purity" and you say "Great! We have no temptations." there is a major problem there! Keeping pure should be a fight and a battle, and should NOT come easily. If there is no passion or chemistry the marriage is going to end up being really hard. You can't just marry your best friend, you have to marry your best friend who you find irresistible! But you must make sure not to give into your passion and fall into pre-marital sexual sin. This is like striking a match in knee deep kerosene. A lasting relationship will need to build coals in order to keep "burning" for an entire lifetime. Some people are just using lighter fluid and lasting a lot longer than they would if they didn't bring sexual sin into the relationship. Relationships like that often end up like this: "A good deal, becomes an ordeal, becomes a new deal." VERY TRUE. Purity is SO important!!!! But it should be hard to stay that way! If it's easy….that's not good. If you can sit in a house alone for five hours and just talk with no kind of temptation…probably not the perfect fit for you!

5.) You must be in social unity. This means that you should enjoy doing the same types of things as the other person. What you like and what interests you should be a lot alike. I guess for me personally that means I can't marry a rustic mountain man who can't get enough of rock climbing. I also would be unhappy with an excercise-o-holic! Those types drive me crazy! If you love to go to the beach and your mate can't stand the feel of sand, it's gonna be rough. You need to like the same things! Of course, girls and guys are different so there will be obvious differences in interest. If your husband likes to do ballet and shop for make-up as much as you do, there may be an even bigger problem. So, obviously you will not be alike in everything. But"To the degree that you and your mate are socially opposite, you better balance it out with the same degree of flexibility and holiness." After you get married you are not number one any longer! You must do what pleases your mate…and having the same hobbies and interests makes this a lot easier.

At the beginning of the sermon it was talking about how men and women get into their mid to late twenties and sometimes panic and settle for someone who is not a good fit. But a lot of times settling ends up putting people in a much worse place than they ever could be single! Like I said before, we must learn to trust God and believe that He is capable of bringing the right person. We don't think about these five things when we are completely in love with a smooth talking man. When our hearts are pounding and all we see are stars, this doesn't exactly cross our minds. But it NEEDS to. We must never settle no matter what. And you know what else??? We need to make sure we are the type of person that is going to line up with the man we want. I know that is said a lot, but do we REALLY take that advice? Are we the woman who a Godly man would be blessed to be with? (so cliche, I know! but a good cliche,right?) Are WE making illusions and diversions in our single life? I know I have!

I hope some of you got as much out of this as I did. Not gonna lie, I got kinda nervous because I've never met a guy that has been even close to connecting with me on all these points. Maybe two or three at best! Me finding the perfect match for me will truly be a miracle! But no matter how hard it may seem to wait and not settle, it will be worth it. :) If I'm thirty and get desperate and start settling for some strange man…kick me and remind me of what I just wrote! I'm not perfect! haha

*ALL OUT WAR!!!!*

I have just experienced a very dramatic encounter with an enormous spider, and I feel as though I've just run fifteen miles because of it. I am pretty much scarred for life, but I am willing to tell the tale. I think it will help me to recover by sharing my story. The words I'm about to say are hard, because it means reliving a traumatic moment, but time will heal this wound.

I taught bugology this summer and made all my children say each day "A bugologist never kills a bug" so I tell this story with a tinge of regret. Not enough that I wouldn't do the same thing again, though. I have definitely violated the bugologist code and I know a few kids who would be heartbroken over it. I thought I had come to friendship status with spiders, but that's before they decided to declare war on me in my own home. For the past few weeks I have seen a spider in my shower at least every other day. They started out as really small spiders, and the first time I even let it go. The second time, I was just a little annoyed so I smashed it, i'll admit that. The next day I panicked because I was washing my hair in the faucet and looked over to see a vengeful friend of the dead spider right next to my cheek. That's when I realized I didn't want these spiders around anymore. Me seeing them is one thing, them hiding and jumping out at me…that's another.

I've killed about ten spiders by this point and I regret to inform you that Molly and Logan had a spider waiting on their pillow when they visited home this weekend. It's getting OUT OF CONTROL!!!!! A few days have passed without any sitings, but tonight things have taken a turn for the worst. The largest and angriest spider I have ever seen was chilling in the corner of my roof above my shower. It was the mack daddy of all spiders…legs spread out to make it all the more creepier. Everyone is asleep so there's nobody to scream for which was a really disheartening thing to realize. I took a seat in indian style on the floor and just kinda looked at the guy wondering what I should do. I was so tired that I almost felt like forgetting about it, but the thought of a morning shower with a huge monster waiting for me was not appealing. There was only one thing to do.

My first thought was that I needed to throw something at it to get it down so I could reach it…if I was lucky, it'd die from the fall. I picked up my hair dryer to throw, but luckily thought about how dumb that would be before I chunked it. Then I picked up my hair brush, but that wouldn't work either. What if the remains are brushed through my hair or something? I placed the hairbrush back on the counter and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair was on top of my head in a bun and it was not the best look for me to tell you the truth. I took a time out to brush my hair and make it look good before I resumed my war. Once my hair looked great, I gave myself a smile in the mirror and then quickly looked away meaning business once again. It makes no sense to brush my hair considering nobody is going to see me, but that's what I did. In all honesty…that's what I do almost every night. haha

Finally I picked up something I wouldn't mind ruining…a roll of toilet paper. The first roll completely missed the spider because I'm terrible at aim. Then I took another roll and finally got a little bit of a hit…only problem was, the spider completely disappeared after that. It seemed like the roll had killed him and all I really had to do was check to see underneath to make sure the dastardly deed was done. It took me a while to gain the courage, because I wasn't sure if he was somewhere else and was going to come down on my hair. Because really…when I hit him, I kinda closed my eyes in fear. Smart, I know.

I finally got enough courage after I put a towel over my head for protection. My hair dryer did come in handy because I used the cord to bang against the rolls of toilet paper to see if the spider was underneath. Frighteningly enough, he was nowhere to be found. How does something THAT big get lost?! I was in over my head. I realized it was about to be an all out war.

Because I had no idea where the spider had gone, I jumped back to the other side of the bathroom to think through my next battle plan. I grabbed a basket and dumped everything out to use as a trap. I stayed back with the towel still over my head; hands clutching the basket tightly. I crouched down like the crouching would actually help something and started to laugh at myself because of how ridiculous I was being. But the laughter came to an abrupt halt when I saw movement. I ran and smashed the basket down over what I thought was the spider but when I lifted the basket up, I was very horrified to see that it was not underneath. The movement was just my overactive imagination.

Breathing fast I slowly moved my head from side to side to see if I could find him. I noticed I strange shape out of the corner of my eye, and surely enough it was the killer spider hiding underneath the soap dish!!!! "GOD! Why on earth did you make spiders so stealthy?!" I mean seriously…….spiders would be so much easier to love if they didn't make dramatic entrances from the ceiling like Nsync or hide in the crevices like a pack of creeps!

Once spotting the spider, I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to bring a high heel into the mix! No spider (or man for that matter) is a match for a handy high heel. I ran to my closet with towel still on my head and came back with my favorite heel. I smacked that big spider until I was tired of smacking, but would you believe it?!?! HE WAS STILL ALIVE AND MOVING!!!!!!!! I had to smash him some more and kinda follow him as he walked.

I am NOT okay!!!! I have been in an all out war.