Saturday, August 21, 2010

*Twas the night before move-in*

Tomorrow I begin the final chapter in my College career. It is about time…the novel of my college life is getting very thick. Every single year has been completely different, so I am not even trying to imagine what this year will look like. Nothing ever turns out the way I think it will at all so I have no expectations. I am feeling hopeful, though. Starting a new year always feels so great because hope is in the air and hasn't been snuffed out quite yet. I must say, I'm enjoying this optimism I'm experiencing right now.

I feel like if I wasn't moving back I'd feel a little bit left out with all the new status updates about people moving back. I bet it's super strange for the new adults who are working 9-5 jobs now and not coming back. I wonder what I'll be feeling this time next year. It's even weirder to think that I'm old enough to have an actual job right now. I wonder if I'll ever start to feel like an adult. Does anybody ever feel like one and what is it supposed to feel like, anyway?

Speaking of feelings…praise the Lord, I have gotten this miracle excitement to move back. I never thought that I'd be this happy to go because of all I have to leave behind here. My mind just goes where it needs to in order to be the happiest and cope in the best way. It's neat how minds work like that. It's almost like I have no control over my coping strategies, but I can look at the way it's working and realize what it is. I'm going to be coming home almost every weekend for my small group of ninth grade girls at church, so that's a reason to be excited, too. I have plans for almost every weekend until December which will keep me here some as well. I'll have half my heart at school and the other at home…it's weird teeter tottering between two different worlds! I'm usually completely in one or completely in the other, so I am interested to see how my brain is going to handle it.

Anyway, I guess I better get to bed since I have to wake up early. It's kinda cool how life works….I have no idea how tomorrow will go or any other day after that. It's almost like everyday is a secret that I get to find out at the end of each day.

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