Monday, June 25, 2012

*Heat, Awkwardness, and Spray Tans*

104 degrees....AKA everyone is a little hot and bothered. I am usually honked at a few times a week, but today because of the weather I was honked at more than usual. Not as many people smiled at me in general and a person was quite rude to me in a public place of business where they were employed. I won't negative name drop or anything, but it was exceptionally weird. I always wonder if rude people feel as awkward as they make me feel. In those moments when employees are about to lose it...I just want to say "Listen, I worked at Dairy Queen...I GET it." But I never lost my cool when I worked at the Queen. No, I just smiled with my over sized grey collard shirt and orthopedic shoes and took my lot in life. I also snuck a few fries here and there and got half off a peanut butter parfait everyday and gained 10 pounds. I think everyone there does that.

Rude people make me feel very strange. While this lady huffed and puffed, I was stuck with nowhere in particular to look and no phone in my hand to save me from the awkward waiting. It was just a really terrible moment and I wonder if she felt it too. She needed a major helping of shaved ice and some advil I guess...because I don't think it was me. Although I did have a big order and I do remember what it was like to see the peewee soccer team come into the Dairy Queen every Saturday lunch rush. I just knew I was going to be chewed out by like five different people for working my tail off. You just can't make the public's as hard as turning your skin green by just looking at it. I'm a great tipper and a very happy costumer. Do you know why? Because I have the time and money to be sitting my boohiney in the restaurant chair in the first place!

I think about awkwardness and how people feel a lot. I've wondered if those quiet people who never talk in groups feel as awkward as I do watching them. They just sit there...watching the people talking...staring. In all honesty, I'd rather be the one with my mouth closed, but I don't have the guts. The awkwardness is too much for me so I just start blabbing like crazy. In fact, most people think I'm super talkative when in reality I just have a massive fear of awkward moments. Although the ironic part is that my friends tell me I bring awkward moments on myself all the time.

On a completely different note, I held my tanlines for a good solid 24 hours before they faded into pale Abby skintone again. No matter how hard I try, the sun never stays with me. I have contemplated the legendary spray tan, but the self tanning debacle of 2005 has yet to leave my memory. Having orange legs at the Ring Ceremony in front of the entire school is something that will forever be burned in my brain. Not only that, it stained my favorite sheets, too. Orange legs forever printed on that poor fabric.

Does anyone have some good spray tanning stories to tell me about? I see some great tans, but I just fear when it starts peeling off, ya know?'s so hard to keep up with sometimes.