I've had a complete perspective change. Whenever I get sick, it's usually because the Lord wants to grab me from my busy schedule and teach me something or have me slow down long enough to just notice Him. Being alone with only Him for a couple of days has been wonderful, because He's all I've been aware of. It's almost like I've taken a vacation from the world and just spent a few days with God. Days without the world humming in my ear are the times I feel closest to the Lord and I'm able to see things I'm not able to see on a regular basis. It's been nice…sometimes it's hard to think about going back into the world because that means the world will be what I think about most. My schedule, my duties, my social life…but for these days…I've thought about God. And they have been beautiful, fever-filled days.
I'm trying to find words to describe what I have learned these past three days, but it's such a big concept that it's hard trying to come up with the words to describe it. It's almost like there's no way I can do it justice. It has to do with the fact that I've been acting like a spoiled child in my spiritual life for a long time now. It has to do with us blaming God or being mad at God when bad things happen. It has to do with God's unending mercy and His love for us that reaches far beyond what we can ever understand.
We deserve to die. All of us have committed the same sin Adam and Eve did when they believed the lie that God doesn't want them to be happy. They believed that they could figure out what was best for themselves without God which is what all of us have done at one time or another. We are all poisoned by sin and even though we believe false things about God on a daily basis and often leave Him out…He waits for us. He wants to help us and be there for us regardless of our actions. Even after Adam and Eve sinned…God made them clothes before He kicked them out. He loved them so much that He took the time to make clothes for the ones who just broke His heart. He HAD to send them away….but He loved them so much He made them clothes. And when I say His heart was broken, I mean more broken than we have ever felt. Imagine the worst rejection or betrayal you've been through in your life that wasn't your fault. Can you imagine making that person clothes and wanting to give your only son to die for them? I can't. Humans are incapable of love that unconditional. In His hurt, He MADE them clothes.That to me says a lot about our God right there. If we ever feel like God is out to get us, we don't know the first thing about His nature.
I think what I've learned in these past few days is that I am so blessed with what God has given me. Instead of being so shocked when something bad happens, what we really should do is be in awe that we aren't all consumed. We deserve none of the blessings that God gives us, yet He chooses to put good in this life although it's very broken here. Those birthday cakes we love so much…the walks in the park on a beautiful day….He gives us those just because He loves us. We are stuck here on this earth because we put ourselves here…but just like Adam and Eve, He is making us clothes we don't deserve. Yes, they still had to go through VERY hard times, but the Lord didn't let them leave without clothes hand made just for them. And He sure didn't let them leave without a rescue plan to get them back.
The Lord loves us so much that He isn't making us go through what we deserve. Even with everything terrible in this world…the Lord in His love and grace has brought rays of hope. He loves to see us happy and He loves to hear us laugh. But bad things WILL happen…it's a fallen world and we are not home. God doesn't send bad things on us…we let them here. Humanity decided that they knew better and started to believe that God didn't want what's best for them and that's where we went wrong. That's where we still go wrong. When we doubt God's love in anyway, we are doing exactly what put this world upside down to begin with.
Instead of being upset with God when things don't go our way or getting upset about trivial matters….we should be thankful that the Lord has mercy on us and loves us enough to give us the blessings we do have. He gives us a set of clothes when we deserve nothing. I am so blessed and in awe of what the Lord has done for me. I can't believe all the times I act like God owes me something or I get upset when something doesn't go my way. I feel like a fool….I needed a perspective change.