Saturday, May 19, 2012

Letting Them Go

It's that time of year again...time for change and letting things go. I am coming to the end of my first year of teaching and it's full of intense emotions that are extremely opposite. On one hand, I am stretched to my limit and VERY ready for a break. I feel like I've worked so hard and given absolutely everything I've got this year and now I'm left with pretty much nothing. The thought of getting a break is such a pleasant one, but when I think about what comes with that....I get really sad.

I have fallen deeply in love with fifteen of the most precious children that walk this planet. For almost ten months, I've spent countless hours a day learning everything about them. I'm to the point where I know exactly what they are going to say when they raise their hand before they even say it. It's usually wanting a band-aid, drink of water, tissue, a trip to the nurse for some extremely unnecessary reason, or a bathroom break. It's VERY rarely an answer to the question I just asked and hardly ever relates to school in any way, haha. I know what makes them laugh and cry, I know all about the special stuffed animals and dolls they hold close. I know their mannerisms like the back of my hand and they ALL have them...and each are very different. I know how most of them feel in my arms except for the few boys who think I have cooties. I don't even mind having cooties, though...because it makes it all the better when I can make them laugh or have a break through.

The cutest part of the day is when we eat our snacks on the carpet. I love the way they look when they eat and how they make such a huge mess on the floor. I love how they always come back from lunch with food all over their faces and when I let them use markers, they wear that around on their hands, face, and clothes for the rest of the day, too.

I love how even though they are still babies, they are some of the wisest people I know. We all have grown so much spiritually and gotten closer to God together. I always wondered what it would be like in the future when I am a mom and how my time with God would be effected. I'm realizing and learning now that it doesn't have to be effected at all, I can just bring them in on it. I learned how to bring children into my spiritual world and that's the most important thing that I've taken from this year. I wouldn't trade it for the world! It wasn't just me, though...they brought me in on their spiritual lives, too. They teach me so much about life and are smart both spiritually and intellectually. They come up with ideas that I never could and I am in awe of them daily!!! I love to see how the Lord has gifted my kids. They are all going to do such amazing things....I just wish I would always be there to see it, ya know? And that's where it gets hard.

I have no idea what this last week will look or feel like, but I know that it's going to be full of emotion. I need to just remind myself how lucky I am that I had the opportunity to spend this year with those babies and trust God with where He takes them. I had the honor to call them mine for only a little while...but now it's time to let them go.