In the car

I've been in the car since 3pm yesterday because all the pit stops along the way have made for a long trip. Last night we forgot to turn on the heater in our hotel room while snow was everywhere outside. To make matters worse my comforter smelled like a sweaty old bald man wiped his head on it! Blek! So I didn't sleep with that obviously. I basically went camping last night. Good thing we are almost there and a great bed in a warm house awaits me! The snow is piled so high!!!! It's incredible!!!!! I am very cold and my face blows up to twice it's size when it snows so the pics may be interesting. Happy Nebraska in the words of my three year old cousin!!! This is gonna be great!

*Rainy Christmas Eve Thoughts*

Right now I'm laying in my cozy bed looking out my enormous window into the rainy outdoors. It's so peaceful and sort of makes me want to stay here all day. I AM going to get up and go to the Christmas Eve service, though. Our big church has three services that are completely different, so my family is going to all three. Not really sure about that for me. I'm horrible at sitting down and paying attention for long amounts of time.

I am enjoying this break SO much!!!! I want it to go by super slow and never end! Physical Science is the looming cloud of doom in the near future, but I try to block that out of my mind as much as possible, haha. It's been nice seeing friends that I haven't seen in a long time and hearing the doorbell ring with fudge and other goodies on the other side. People are so nice!!!! I remember when we used to bake cookies and take them to friends and neighbors. Those were the good ole days! Christmas definitely comes with a lot of good memories for me. Everyone is just a little more jolly, and there are tons of festive stuff to do.

I really have nothing of importance to say, I am just biding away time until I leave for church at 2:50. I'm glad I have a church that is really enjoyable to go to. I also get a ton out of it as well, so it's fun and beneficial! I am so thankful!!!!

*That box lied to me!!!*

For a long time now I've been thinking about how I needed to get in a bit more shape by the time of the wedding. Well, the months have gone by and nothing but good intentions have remained. So I decided last night that I would start today once and for all.I woke up with a determination AND an uninvited friend. Mr. Munchies was plaguing me more than he has in a while. I just wanted to snack on something,ANYTHING, paper if it needed to happen. Maybe it was me realizing how much I wasn't going to eat that made me hungry. So I finally got the munchies calling so bad that I figured I would go get something small, and possibly healthy? I opened the pantry and everything looked like it was so good, but I saw a weight watchers sign and decided to pick up the box.

"One Point!" it shouted at me in a big happy number. Whatever one point means..one point is small, so I figured it was a good thing to choose. On the cover there was the most delicious looking chocolate cake with heavenly looking icing. "THIS WILL DO!" Yummy cake and only one point! This is ideal! So I joyfully opened the box only to hear myself scream out loud "AHHH!!!" This is NOT what was on the box!!!!! A black piece of something about the size of my thumb came out. This is NOT cake!!!! This is not okay!!! They lied to me! But I decided to eat it anyway....I got one bite in and had to throw that piece of cardboard cake away! No wonder people lose tons of weight on weight watchers!!! I've lost my appetite for the whole day! A weight watchers cake really does make me run from food. BLEK. There is a reason the phrase "fat and happy" was coined. Just sayin.

Cozy :)

I feel as cozy as a baby in a mothers womb because of this new heated mattress pad!!! I can't proclaim it enough!!!!!!!!! Put me in the fetal position on this heater and I'm happy as a clam! :)

Dark Ages No More!!!!

Until today I have been completely living in the dark ages. Sure, I have running water, a car, phone, and computer...but I was still sleeping in freezing cold sheets!!! There is no insulation on my dorm window and the heater is mediocre. My life as of late has been a frigid one, but that ended today!!!

I had no idea this even existed, but I bought a heated mattress pad today! It is the best thing since sliced bread!!! I do not have to suffer through the cold night any longer! I also purchased a space heater and am joyfully living in a cozy, warm room!!!!!

Thank you, Lord...I can't say it enough...for letting me be born in the new ages of technology and mattress heaters!!!!!!!!!!

"Stop Rejecting Rejection!"

I am up three hours before I need to do anything which means I'm taking time to look out my huge window and think. My brain first went through the subject of God wanting our hearts much more than our acts of good deeds. Yes, those are important, but what He's after first and foremost is our hearts. And then I began to bask in the joy that I can give my full heart to the Lord and He will always take care of it no matter what. When you give your heart to humans it's conditional whether we think so or not. But the Lord is teaching me that I can't hold my heart back from people forever out of fear. Why would I give someone who hurt me that much power? And why would i give up having the chance to raise children who hear the name of Jesus daily and never doubt they are loved? That is needed these days! Satan would love for me to live by my rejection. But I can't do that. But I also think guarding my heart is important. Giving it to Joe blow is not smart. Trust me.

But that's not the only rejection that's been on my mind. Mostly because of a phone conversation I had with a friend from my old college. We were talking and I said something about meeting his girlfriend if they are ever around and he said: "I don't think you'd get along. Nobody understands you, Abby. They think you are kinda odd, but i get ya!" My heart sank a million miles and I tried so hard to act like it didn't hurt. That familiar lonliness and rejection washed over me like a wave of freezing water. When I got off the phone I just sat there repeating those words in my head. "Nobody understands you...nobody understands you. You are odd to people." Granted these people who found me odd where people who were drunk all the time and had porn on their tvs half the time I walked by. Those people were the ones that would love to see me drop all my morals. As I thought about these things I felt a rush of the holy spirit and these words came into my head: "don't be surprised if the world hates you." And then it was like one massive lightbulb when off.

What if being rejected is not always a bad thing? What if being rejected shows signs that something is RIGHT with you? I mean..this is extreme, but if I hung out with hitler and he thought I was awesome, that would show a problem with me I think! If he thought I was weird and rejected me, wouldn't that be a good thing? If I could completely relate to the bin laden and we were buddies, would that be good? Or would it be better for him to look at me and tell me I'm odd? Would him saying something negative about me really make it true? Nope. It'd mean I'm odd to bin laden, and being odd to bin laden and hitler would show there was something right. I know those are extreme, but it's to make a point. Maybe people who find their joy in alcohol and have no concern for the Lord are not the best judgers of worth. The true judge of that is Jesus and He knows me more than I know myself, and loves me reguardless! Why would I spend my nights crying over the negative thoughts humans have about me, when I am already more than accepted and loved?

So me not being able to fit in with those people shouldn't have crushed me so bad. But when that's all that is around it FEELS like they are right. Luckily that isn't the case. Jesus was rejected much more than me and He is worth everything! Just because certain folks don't like me doesn't mean I am destined to be misunderstood forever. At this college I am definitely understood! And as they say...one man's trash is another man's treasure! :)

So..moral of this post...don't always reject rejection. Sometimes it can be a good thing. Find your confidence in the Lord and you will be able to see that!