Wednesday, August 25, 2010

*Roaches and Robbers*

I'm writing to you from Macy's room, because I have fled the scene of a major incident. If you know me, you know that I have a really hard time spending the night out so this is a BIG deal. I don't want to panic anyone, but earlier today I was maturely doing my homework in bed when all the sudden I saw something out of the corner of my eye crawl on my blanket. Next thing I know a monstrosity of a roach is hopping off the covers and scurrying right beside me on the wall! I ran as fast as I could to my closet and grabbed a shoe to get rid of the problem, but all it did was make it fall onto my bed and shake violently on it's back! Guts everywhere…on my covers and on the wall!!!!! It was a VERY serious situation.

My suite mate thought I had broken a leg from my screaming and was relieved it was only a roach…...Only a roach?! ONLY A ROACH?!?!? You may laugh and say it's not big deal, but have YOU had a roach in your bed?! Walk two seconds in my shoes and then we'll talk. Luckily Jessica had a few roach traps laying around because she brought her entire household to school. We pushed my bed away from all the walls and set traps for the next beast who comes out to play. I still can't get the guts to go back into my bed, but hopefully i'll have the courage after I douse the entire room with roach killer tomorrow. It's just too late to get it now and I'm honestly really tired. For now….I'm bunking in the hibernation station. (aka Macy's room)

I have been through a great deal of strife in the past two days not only because of the roach, but also because of a robber and lockdown. A bank robber decided it'd be a good idea to run from the po po through OBU's campus not knowing our safety officers are specially trained in guerilla warfare and other scary things. We were on lockdown for two hours while the robber was having what I like to call…a REALLY bad day.

I would be lying if I told you I didn't make three panicked laps around the coffee table with my other suite mate when the "VIOLENT ACTIVITY ON CAMPUS" alarm was going off. The alarm in our building is so serious, I wish they would make it a little more light. It yelled at me and made me panic even more! If the alarm wasn't so alarming, I wouldn't have been such a mess. Luckily, we started laughing at ourselves pretty quick and 95% of the lockdown was actually really funny.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

*Pants on the ground, underpants on the ground!*

I typically like to make a grand entrance when I enter a place and moving back to college was no different. You definitely know that Abby has moved to town when a whole drawer full of underwear is sprawled across the lawn. The words "Epic Fail" were created for moments such as these.

The worst part is probably the fact that the dad's in the parking lot all ran over to help with the dumped drawers. I'm good at playing the damsel in distress and actually love it, but please men…back off at times such as these. Let a girl keep a little bit of dignity! The good news is, I wasn't actually out there when it happened. Someone said I was the only person on earth who wouldn't be embarrassed by something like this, which is very false. I would have DIED if I was there. Hearing about it is super funny, because my dad was the one that had to deal with it. His words to me when I got my grassy filled garments were: "ZIPLOCK!!! Have you ever heard of it!?" Yes, I have heard of a ziplock bag, but these plastic drawers promised me more than they were able to give. I guess I was kind enough to learn the lesson of not using those drawers for everyone to know in the future. You're welcome, everyone.

So we had this welcome line for the freshman where we cheered and high fived them etc. High fiving is strange in itself, but the added awkwardness of torches and the cover of night made it even worse. My poor hand was rejected a lot and sometimes when new students were about to high five me, I accidentally pulled away. It was like nails on a chalkboard!!!! Maybe worse!!!! I think my days of meet and greet are OVER. Too much for someone as socially inept as me. I need my safety zone and in that safety zone there are absolutely NO HIGH FIVES!!!! Who made up the high five anyway? It is super weird!!!! There is nothing not weird about it!!!!!!

Luckily, I have the same room and bed as I did last year so I feel like I'm starting where I left off. Getting used to a new bed is REAAAALLLLY hard for me. I never spend the night out or anything because of it. I can't take the chance of sleeping in a bed that smells like feet and at a strangers house you just never know. I have been in some pretty sticky situations when it comes to spending the night out, which makes me very happy to be in my bed now. I have to have a bed that smells really good or I can't sleep. Good thing this bed smells great and is familiar. I love familiarity.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

*Twas the night before move-in*

Tomorrow I begin the final chapter in my College career. It is about time…the novel of my college life is getting very thick. Every single year has been completely different, so I am not even trying to imagine what this year will look like. Nothing ever turns out the way I think it will at all so I have no expectations. I am feeling hopeful, though. Starting a new year always feels so great because hope is in the air and hasn't been snuffed out quite yet. I must say, I'm enjoying this optimism I'm experiencing right now.

I feel like if I wasn't moving back I'd feel a little bit left out with all the new status updates about people moving back. I bet it's super strange for the new adults who are working 9-5 jobs now and not coming back. I wonder what I'll be feeling this time next year. It's even weirder to think that I'm old enough to have an actual job right now. I wonder if I'll ever start to feel like an adult. Does anybody ever feel like one and what is it supposed to feel like, anyway?

Speaking of feelings…praise the Lord, I have gotten this miracle excitement to move back. I never thought that I'd be this happy to go because of all I have to leave behind here. My mind just goes where it needs to in order to be the happiest and cope in the best way. It's neat how minds work like that. It's almost like I have no control over my coping strategies, but I can look at the way it's working and realize what it is. I'm going to be coming home almost every weekend for my small group of ninth grade girls at church, so that's a reason to be excited, too. I have plans for almost every weekend until December which will keep me here some as well. I'll have half my heart at school and the other at home…it's weird teeter tottering between two different worlds! I'm usually completely in one or completely in the other, so I am interested to see how my brain is going to handle it.

Anyway, I guess I better get to bed since I have to wake up early. It's kinda cool how life works….I have no idea how tomorrow will go or any other day after that. It's almost like everyday is a secret that I get to find out at the end of each day.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

*The Chinese Food Debacle*

When my family gets together there is usually a lot of loud, love, hugs, laughter, tears, and debacles.

Debacle(n)-1.) Complete failure 2.) Event that turns out to be a complete disaster often with humiliating consequences. 3.) A bad situation or mess up.

2. disaster, ruin, fiasco, catastrophe, calamity.

Yesterday my family got together and as usual the night was full of all the loud noises, laughing, and love you could ever need in your life. Surprisingly, the night was pretty debacle free until about 8pm when everybody got hungry for some Chinese. Nana said they could order Chinese food as long as they only ordered what they could eat. She didn't want a fridge full of take-out like she's had in the past. 411 seemed to be the answer to all the family's problems and so they dialed it up with haste….

Information answered and gave them the magic number and an enormous order took place. "Fried rice…we'll take 50 of those please! Egg rolls...enough to feed an army, miss. Chicken…every kind you have would be pleasing." When the call was over, my cousin went to Fulin's to pick it up, but when she arrived something was amiss. The faint smell of a debacle was in the air, but nobody realized it just yet. The lady at the counter said it hadn't been called in and had no idea what order she was talking about. The obvious thing to do was to re-order the enormous list of food again and wait for it to cook. They must have forgotten to write it down, right?

Once the food was ready, my cousin took it home to all the hungry family members. While they were chowing down the phone kept ringing and ringing, but no one picked it up. Finally someone answered and a Chinese sounding woman said with frustration: "Nobody answer phone!!! This is Hunan's! Your order ready!"

Hunan's?!?! Who ordered Hunan's?! Apparently information messed up and gave them the number to Hunan's instead of Fulin's. My family tried to explain what happened, but they had cooked so much food and were very upset that we weren't going to pick it up. Apparently the excuse "My family is too loud, I couldn't hear when you said 'Hello, this is Hunan's" was not good enough. My poppy said they should just go pay for it because it was the right thing to do. So out they went again bringing two huge cardboard boxes of food home with them.

My nana now has two fridge fulls of Chinese take-out and so do all my aunts and uncles. Today my aunt said we should go try and find a family who is praying for take-out and burst through their door. We never got around to that, though.

*I told the story using the word "they", because I wasn't actually there. I left about thirty minutes before thinking that they were not going to order take-out. I heard rumors of it, but was very upset to hear that they decided against it. We made a pan of cheese toast around 6:00pm or so, but it was rationed out pretty tightly. I was starving by the time I got home and craving Chinese which is just really funny to me. We were together again tonight and laughed for so long over the chinese food debacle. SO worth it for the hilarious aftermath and sight of the fridge full of food.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

*The Scandalous Burrito*

My cousin has been at Pom camp these past few days which has given me some flashbacks to my days at camp. It's basically a week where you push yourself to the limit and feel like a train ran over you by the end of the week. Staying up till 4am to practice was normal, just to get up at 7am to practice some more. We eat, sleep, and breathe dance. It almost feels like there's nothing else in the world for those few days. For the record, I got superior blue ribbons for every single dance I did at camp. I always talk about how I'm not talented, so I gotta throw that in there. I have talents, they just don't come in handy because they aren't practical. For example, I rule at Twister but how can I nonchalantly show somebody that?! I can pull my leg up to my face without stretching for years, but whose to know?! I'm a closet prodigy if you will.

At camp we also have team dances that we learn and are judged on by the end of the week. Our pom squad was super serious about winning, so they decided that we should just skip lunch and keep on practicing. You know…get a one up on the other squads while they ate. I hadn't slept in days because I stayed up practicing my dances and was super sore from "Cheer robes" which was a work-out we did every morning right after breakfast. I was very tired and the last thing I wanted to do was practice during lunch. I'm all about practicing and working hard, but there's a point when it just gets ridiculous! There's more to life than missing a burrito for some ribbon. I mean, a burrito gives so much more love back than a dinky little ribbon!!! That's how I saw it through my tired and hungry mindset anyway. Winning has never had much draw for me….all my blue ribbons are long gone by now, but I can still smell those burritos clear as day.

During the discussion about missing lunch I raised my tired hand and calmly explained that I really needed that burrito to make it through without punching someone out. Tired AND hungry is not a good combination! Besides…we were working out ALL THE TIME! The capatin was not happy with my suggestion to eat…NOT AT ALL. She saw it as I was not committed, but I saw it as a way to keep our sanity and not get committed.

The sponser was thinking logically and thought it was best if we were allowed to eat and gave us a choice: We could either go grab a delicious burrito or stay there and practice hungry and irritable. Some girls decided to stay but more girls decided to ban with me and get a burrito for themselves. We decided that the taste of the burrito would far outweigh any drama that would erupt from our decision. People have their rights, you know. After working out for hours and hour, lunch is the bare minimum right.

I lead my troops bravely to the lunch line and showed them where to sit. We ate and laughed at the situation until our sides hurt. With every bite we were partaking in the biggest scandal in Pom Camp history. We returned later to a disgruntled captain and few other hungry girls. "How was the burrito?!" they asked angrily "It was great! Best burrito I ever had." I said with a smile. Because well…you can smile when you aren't starving.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I had a sudden flashback to a day at school while brushing my teeth this morning. I saw five little girls crowded around me at the sink watching me with curious gazes. This time they were a figment of my imagination, but on a few occasions they've been very real. I took my toothbrush to work everyday, because in my mind nobody should go all those hours without keepin the hygiene up. When 3:00 rolled around, everybody knew it was time for me to brush my teeth.

I brushed my teeth every afternoon, but on a particular day five little girls started following me to the door saying "Can we watch?! Can we watch?! PLEASE!!!". "Well, it's not that interesting, but can come." I felt like a mother duck because we all walked in a line, me leading at the front. "You're famous, Miss Abby!" one little girl said to me from behind. I looked back in that moment and saw those smiling girls walking behind me, and I started to laugh. famous? That's funny. I never have had so many people interested in watching me brush my teeth before and I doubt it'll ever happen again.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

*Dad's Dating Advice (Ultimate Low)*

I hate that I'm typing these words right now, but the other day my dad started giving me dating advice. He referred to dating as "fishing" and said if I wanted to catch the attention of a particular gentlemen, I need to be the bait. If I see a guy who tickles my fancy, I should sit in front of him so he can see my great hair (dad's words not mine) and waft my perfume in his general direction. I'm also apparently supposed to act like he's "just another guy". I am not good at playing the nonchalant card, so I fear I'm doomed to failure. Either way, the advice was about how to be the bait, not taking into consideration my shortcomings. Once you put yourself out there you will have to throw some fish back, others won't take the bait, and one you will finally keep. Being the bait means that you're not pursuing but putting yourself out there and showing men what they're missing. At least…that's what dad says.

As my parents were leaving to go to a movie they yelled at me from the door: "Happy Fishing!" ….I desperately yelled back: "I'm not fishing!!! I can't believe my life has come to this! I can't be bait…I can't take anymore rejection or i'll just die!" and my dad replied back: "Well good, you can live with us forever then!"

"live with us forever…forever…foreverrrrr" echoed like a scary funhouse in my mind. Back in high school my parents couldn't get me to stop dating, now I'm being told to waft my perfume!!!! I don't want to fish!!! I hate worms and crickets! The last thing I want to be is bait!!!! Do I look like a girl who likes to fish?!?! The answer to that is NO. Please, God…please say it ain't so. Say it hasn't come to my dad having to give me dating advice. That's like an ultimate low.

Now, we all know that my parents are not making me feel like I need to date right now. This advice was meant to be taken now or years from now, but even so… was not a conversation I ever wanted to have.