Tuesday, August 3, 2010

*Dad's Dating Advice (Ultimate Low)*

I hate that I'm typing these words right now, but the other day my dad started giving me dating advice. He referred to dating as "fishing" and said if I wanted to catch the attention of a particular gentlemen, I need to be the bait. If I see a guy who tickles my fancy, I should sit in front of him so he can see my great hair (dad's words not mine) and waft my perfume in his general direction. I'm also apparently supposed to act like he's "just another guy". I am not good at playing the nonchalant card, so I fear I'm doomed to failure. Either way, the advice was about how to be the bait, not taking into consideration my shortcomings. Once you put yourself out there you will have to throw some fish back, others won't take the bait, and one you will finally keep. Being the bait means that you're not pursuing but putting yourself out there and showing men what they're missing. At least…that's what dad says.

As my parents were leaving to go to a movie they yelled at me from the door: "Happy Fishing!" ….I desperately yelled back: "I'm not fishing!!! I can't believe my life has come to this! I can't be bait…I can't take anymore rejection or i'll just die!" and my dad replied back: "Well good, you can live with us forever then!"

"live with us forever…forever…foreverrrrr" echoed like a scary funhouse in my mind. Back in high school my parents couldn't get me to stop dating, now I'm being told to waft my perfume!!!! I don't want to fish!!! I hate worms and crickets! The last thing I want to be is bait!!!! Do I look like a girl who likes to fish?!?! The answer to that is NO. Please, God…please say it ain't so. Say it hasn't come to my dad having to give me dating advice. That's like an ultimate low.

Now, we all know that my parents are not making me feel like I need to date right now. This advice was meant to be taken now or years from now, but even so…..it was not a conversation I ever wanted to have.

3 comments:

  1. I wish my dad had it speak to me like that! Awesome =) I got the ideia
    Vanessa

    ps.I tried to write on facebook but I did haven't the permission for it..weird! =/

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  2. HAHAHA sooo funny. I agree with catching their attention and letting them pursue you. But I thought your dad would have somehow used football, right?

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  3. hahahahaha! Cydney tells me that same thing ALL THE TIME...she's all like, "Guys like to be the ones who pursue! It's in their DNA!" and I'm like, GREAT, because that's how I am too :-/ I am not a sit-back sort of person and I don't think you are, either! It's tough to be us! :-)

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