Friday, October 30, 2009

*Where's my car?!*

It would be a lie if I told you that I don't lose my car on a regular basis. Usually I have to circle the parking lot at least once to find it, but today the circling was not doing the trick..... MY. CAR. WAS. GONE. Let me start from the beginning....

My alarm went off at 6:25 am this morning which was the first mistake of the day. Start mistakes that early, and you got yourself a problem.The night before was filled with movies and happiness so I decided to save my homework for the morning. In my defense, my homework ends up being best if I do it in the morning. If I do it at night, I've already spent all my energy in class and have nothing left to give. The morning causes me to start my homework clean and fresh on a hopeful step to the future. But I need to remember to push through on Thursday nights, because getting up THAT early on Friday is not worth it at all.Friday's are my earliest days to wake up, because I have a first grade class to teach at 8am.

When I woke up I was absolutely shocked at how dark it was outside. I kept opening my curtain and closing it and opening and closing it to see if I was imagining things. Not only was it dark, but the rain was pouring down in massive sheets. Getting up was not looking good for me, but I did anyway, as any studious and responsible girl should. I had to copy some pages so I scheduled some time to go to the computer lab before I drove to the school. After about an hour of homework I was getting a little close on time, so I decided I should leave early to make sure I got all the copies done. I put on my nice clothes and shoes and headed out the door into the monsoon. I finally made it to the back forty where I usually park my car and although my feet were freezing, I was still hopeful for the day. That is until the usual circling to look for my car turned into a twenty minute panic fest. Safety had their eye on me as was running around in the rain/making laps around the lot! I went through every single line in the pouring rain/pitch dark weather and my soul felt as soaked as my clothes. I was freezing and there were puddles in my nice shoes. I had to be at the school in twenty minutes, so I questioned what to do. Should I call somebody for a ride? No, I need to get the copies!!!! But what if I don't make it on time?!?! And then it hit me...I had parked over in the OTHER parking lot. Are you kidding me?!?! I had been panicking in the back forty for twenty minutes, when my car was safely in the front parking lot. I rushed to the car through the floods and finally made it to the copier that was conveniently out of paper. But I monitored and adjusted to make it work. Who needs copies anyway? Not me! Plus I was too freezing to care about anything else but finding a dry, warm area. And at least I had found my lost car....

I need to have a parking space with my name on it so tragedies like this don't happen every Friday. How am I supposed to find my car if I re-park it ten times a day in different places?!?! Seriously?!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

10/28 of Jesus Calling

"Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young (Devotional for 10/28/)

Do not expect to be treated fairly in this life. People will say and do hurtful things to you, things that you don't deserve. When someone mistreats you, try to view it as an opportunity to grow in grace. See how quickly you can forgive the one who has wounded you. Don't be concerned about setting the record straight. Instead of obsessing about other people's opinions of you, keep your focus on Me. Ultimately, it is MY view of you that counts.

As you concentrate on relating to Me, remember that I have clothes you in My righteousness and holiness. I see you attired in these radiant garments, which I bought for you with my blood. This also is not fair; it is a pure gift. When others treat you unfairly, remember that My ways with you are much better than fair. My ways are Love and Peace, which I have poured out into your heart by My Spirit.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

*Bask in these moments*

I am looking out a huge window at the perfectly blue sky and the red, orange, and brown leaves all over the trees. It is absolutely GORGEOUS!!! The sun is shining so bright, and my spirits seem to be follow. I am SO thankful for this time of year! Not only is the weather INCREDIBLE, but there are three Holidays are soon to follow! Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas!!!! Pumpkin painting and carving is on everyone's to do list, and Starbucks is FINALLY selling the Harvest Spice latte yet again!!!!! I am SO happy right now. I want to go jump around outside to music in a Halloween costume! I want to run through corn mazes and eat halloween candy until I'm sick. I want to be outside!!!! I am not an outdoorsy person, but this time of year is loaded with possibilities and the weather is calling my name! It's a little glimpse of Heaven in my life. Each year I can be reminded of God's faithfulness, because the winter does come,but HE is faithful to bring spring, summer, and fall back again!!!!! Every season has it's wonders, but I particularly like Autumn!!!! It's gorgeous...and it brings me new hope! Hope that one day the leaves in my life will change and fall off, and something new will grow. Thankfulness at the leaves that are in my life, because they are there for a reason. Thankfulness that I am exactly where God wants me to be, and those leaves won't fall until it's time. Sometimes our leaves are here for a reason, but eventually they need to change for new things in our hearts and lives to grow. There are many phases in our life, and the purposes will not fully be known until this side of Heaven. Yes, the leaves speak to me. I bet I would laugh at anyone else who was writing so seriously about leaves. Wow.

I hope that the Fall makes you guys as happy as it does me :) Let's bask in these moments of bliss, because life is hard, and the going gets tough...but the Lord brings about wonderful things to make the journey worth while.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sometimes I don't understand everything that happens in my life. But you know what? That's just fine with me, because the maker of the universe has my life in His hands. And one day everything is going to make perfect sense. One day every knee will bow and everything will be just as it should be. I can't wait for my happily ever after in eternity!!! Today I felt the Lord so close and it reminds me how lucky I am to be His. I was having a moment where I was questioning myself, and I was like: " Jesus! sometimes I feel like such a broken human that I'm not sure i have much to offer. I want to do what you want, but what do I even have?" and He gave me a great answer that I wrote in my journal for future reference, He said " I have gifted you beyond what you realize." I know it sounds crazy to some, but I really do hear Him. Not everyday, but there are definite times when I hear Him speak. Only when I completely humble myself and know my only strength is in Him. How neat that the Lord says He has gifted me. I wonder what those gifts are. It was definitely what I needed to hear. He has given me what I need to follow His will. He is so good to me. I don't deserve all this love! I just typed this whole blog from my phone. Technology is amazing!!!!! Bye for now!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

iPhone baby!

I am very excited to report that I am typing this from my iPhone!!!!!!!!! I am so happy! I adore this phone!!! It's like a best friend I've always wanted!!!!!

"Give It All Away" By Aaron Shust

(This song describes exactly what I want to say to the Lord inside. I love when songs just speak for me!!!)

Search my heart, search my mind, search my soul
Make me clean, make me new, make me whole

All of my plans, all of my dreams, I lay them down before Your feet
All of my time, all that was mine, I now submit to Your design
'Cause You are the one who can make my life complete
You are the one who can give light to my feet
You are the one and only one who dared to give it all away for me

You are my strength, You are my God, you are my King
You make me laugh, You make me dance, You make me sing

Everything inside, everything outside, I give it all away
You never change, but You rearrange my heart more everyday

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

*Twin Fun and Memories*

I went to FSM where none of the kids know about me and 15 of them thought I was Molly! I had a tally going on as an experiment per say. I was at Party City today getting my Halloween costume and a girl came up to me saying "MOLLY!!!!" and I said "Oh, sorry! I'm Abby..her twin!" Then at church later the SAME girl came up to me and said "Molly! I met your twin Abby at Party City today!!!!" HAHAHA!!!! FUNNY TIMES!!!! We don't look that much alike, unless you have no idea we have a twin. It was a really great time. I loved it. 15..that's a good number.

Being at FSM made me go down memory lane without even trying! I remembered what it felt like to be 14 years old and coming to church after two hours of trying to make myself look good. I didn't really know how to put on make-up that well, but I sure gave my best shot! All I cared about then was my boyfriend at the time...and for the next four years for that matter. I was distracted, because I looked around and saw countless girls making the same mistake I did. Holding hands during the prayer..whispering and laughing during the talk.Haven't they heard the Taylor Swift song "Fifteen"?! In my defense, that wasn't written yet! haha! We have no idea who we are at 15....and whoever we like feels like the one we are going to marry. But usually we don't have great judgement at all. Judgement on the character of boys I mean. I definitely had no judgment skills, and apparently I still don't, hence why the single life is for me. I wanted to just scream at those girls "RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!" but of course that would have been inapropriate. I just wanted this night to last forever, and time not to move so their precious hearts could be protected. I remember the days before I got my heart shattered into pieces. When you are 18 years old and your first love is stripped from you it FEELS like your life is ending. It FEELS like the tears will never stop. Luckily, it only FEELS that way, and it isn't a reality. Life goes on. Our teenage hormones and emotions calm down after a while. But I still don't want any one of those darling girls to have to feel like I did. That one took three years to get over, and I thought I was home free, but more heartbreak was to come. Maybe in this fallen world we are never truly home free. Maybe home free is on the other side of eternity. Sometimes we need to go through heartbreak for our greater good. The worst heartbreak I have ever known was definitely from that four year relationship in highschool. But I am better for it. I can relate to girls who are in that same mindset. Nobody could of talked me out of my decisions.I was such a fool. I was 14,15,16, and 17 years old thinking I had life figured out. Remembering back reminded me how far I've come....

It always seems like there's so much further to go, but I can rest in the fact that I have come so far. And the Lord has brought me through SO much!!!! I truly believe that there is nothing I can't do with Him. He has carried me and saved me from myself countless times. I pray that He will always save me from myself. That is the main thing we all need to be saved from. Like I always say..NEVER...NEVER...EVER follow your heart!!! You are BROKEN!!!!! Your heart is BROKEN!!!!! The natural thing for it to do is lead you the wrong way!!! So let the spirit lead! I wish I would have let the spirit lead back then! But I can't change anything from my past. What I CAN change is my now....and I am going to take advantage of that. :)

HAPPY FALL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO happy being home!!!! I had the BEST day!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

*Winning Isn't Everything*

Tonight CM won Tiger Tunes!!!!! So much good has come out of the past month working with all these people. We had devotionals every time, and made friendships that mean so much. Winning was not even in our vocabulary, so it was such a shock when we starting getting awards. We were all there to have a good time, and not worried about winning. I think we might have talked about winning one time in the whole month. That was the last thing on our minds...everything we were doing at practice made tunes worth it reguardless of the outcome. We had a BLAST!!!!!!!!! We worked so hard, and the feeling of team spirit was so intense.Everything was leading up to this one moment...the moment when Tiger Tunes is officially over and the winner is announced...I was surprised the first couple of nights when we got so many awards, so I started to wonder what it would be like if we won. But when we were finally announced the winner,it felt nothing like I thought it would. Anti climactic, really.

People try so hard, and give up so much time and effort to win Tiger Tunes. Some people may get sad if they don't place where they thought they would, and then there are people like me that can't believe they placed at all! Let alone first! WOW!!! I have yet to see the show, considering I'm in it. And I'm towards the front a lot, so I really have no idea what it looks like at all. I'll be happy to watch it online at some point! See what this winning team was all about. Yesterday was a lot more exciting than today, I'm not sure why. I think it's because today the winner was announced and then it was what? I mean...I guess I don't see or understand why people strive so hard to win, when winning doesn't feel that different than losing! And then when you goes on and people forget.

I have been on teams that win, and teams that lose, and something that always amazes me is that I never feel any different either way! If I win, I may have that excited feeling for five seconds, but then I go back to normal. If I lose, I don't even get that upset, and then go on with life. It really doesn't matter to me. Why do people in general beat their brains out to win? I mean even in anything, really! What's the big deal, anyway?! I seriously have NO CLUE!!!'s SO great and all..but winning should NOT be everything!!!! Winning will not make you feel any more fulfilled than you did before you won. You may spend your whole life working up to something that doesn't really matter. It makes me want to focus on setting my goals in life to things that matter, and not just winning. CM worked towards both, and I like that. We worked on growing spiritually before each practice, and also relationships with others was top priority as well. Not only were we working for Tiger Tunes, but we were also working on our hearts!!!!

All the hard work was completely worth it! And I'd do it all over again even if we were in last place every night. Because it's not about winning! It's about the memories and the team spirit that come with being a part of Tiger Tunes! And if you HAPPEN to come in first place, and win every be it!!!! Just make sure that winning is not the only reason for doing something. Because you feel the same either way. Trust me on this one. When you lose, you may dream of what winning feels like, but it's really not that life altering. Winning will never fulfill anything!!!! Only Jesus can! :)

Question of the night:Now that I have my life back, and tiger tunes isn't taking all my time....what do I do now? haha

Friday, October 9, 2009


Tiger Tunes is finally here, and excitement is in the air! Opening night was so much fun, and I feel like everyone who came had a great time. I can finally enjoy it, because it's the weekend, and my Spanish test is over with!

Over the past few days I've realized that I have some hardcore stage fright. Before I go on my heart is about to come out of my chest it's beating so fast. I don't want to have practiced so many times, just to mess up for the real thing! My hair has tons of product it in, and it's kind of freaking out on me, haha. But dying my hair white and blue and teasing it up into a hot mess has been WAY worth it. I could write an entire blog on what it takes to get that stuff out!!!! I ask for prayers every night for the shower it takes to make the old lady go away, and bring the real Abby back out!

I don't have much to write, because I have been writing a ton of stuff on actual paper lately. It's easier than starting up a computer and writing on a blog. Plus, I can write secrets on paper that I can't write on here, because this is public and all. I love getting insight into peoples heads, so I try to be pretty transparent in my writing. I think that kind of writing is the type that people can relate to. I make myself vulnerable, so that somebody who might need to can relate. Some people might understand what I mean by that, and some might not. My favorite writers hold nothing back. And for the most part, I am an open book to the world. But there's also parts of my head that should not be written for the public. Sad for my one or two readers that are missing out on some stories. Maybe I'll transfer the good ones over at some point. Some really good ones I can't write right now, because it might cause drama. But in a few years I will, because it's too funny to pass up.

Lately I haven't had time for leisure, but when tunes is over on Sunday, I will be a free woman!!!! Free to have a life again! I might even sing "Free Bird" at the top of my lungs Saturday night! Who knows?! I just hope I don't become anti-social, because tunes forced me to to be social everyday. But now that the weather is getting cold, my room is looking better and better. I'm going to nap. Good-bye for now!

P.S. Harvest Lattes are finally being sold in Starbucks's about time!!!!!!!!!!