*Dillo on my Pillow*

I was asked by a guy the other day if I liked to go camping. Of course I always dread for people to ask me that, because it's totally vogue at my college and church to be a camper. Unfortunately, one of my favorite movies is Troop Beverly Hills because I could relate so well. In my brain I just can't wrap my mind around purposefully sleeping on a rocky ground with spiders in your ears and no proper sinks for brushing teeth! I went camping freshman year and I remember my friends telling me to pack my grunge clothes for the trip. Grunge clothes?! Now…why would I have those?!

I wish so bad that I was an outdoorsy wild woman because then I could be really popular, but sadly that's not the way it is. I just don't understand why going to the bathroom behind a bush and having ants in my food should be appealing. I might have to go camping sometime just for the sake of a good blog because nature hates me. I promise you, anything crazy that everyone says won't happen, ALWAYS happens to me. It's kind of like when I was at summer camp and they told me the scary horse was a sweetheart and he bit my hand a minute later. His name was Mr. Ed and I'm still mad and scarred!

One time I tried to camp out in my backyard to try to become one with nature in junior high. It didn't take five minutes before a mountain lion screeched a horrendous cry outside the tent! I have never ran that fast in my life and I had no idea that mountain lions lived in the city. People still tell me I was mistaken, but I assure you I wasn't. If it wasn't a mountain lion, it must've been even worse….like an armadillo.

The wilderness is full of armadillos! WILD ONES!!! Those things are the most terrifying creatures known to man!!! Not only are they creep central, but they are completely BLIND! That means I might wake up with a dillo on my pillow! That means they might just wobble on over to my extremely uncomfortable sleeping bag for warmth! That means their eyes are probably the scariest things to look into up close!!!!

I just got creeped out because I googled "facts on armadillos"and a huge picture popped up. I seriously had to click out of the page because the dillo grossed me out so bad! It makes me itch to look at the guy. They kind of make a crunching noise when they walk which doesn't help their cause.