*Redneck Riviera*

Last night I was expecting a relaxing cruise down the river to watch fireworks, but I ended up stumbling into the biggest redneck fest of my life. As I walked on to the boat I noticed something peculiar... I was surrounded by mullets and cigarettes and old women dressed in "sexy" apparel to show off their finest tats. One man was dressed as an american flag with a lady in a sparkly mid drift top right beside him. Did I mention they were around fifty eight years old? The word "cruise" was very misleading and so was the word "buffet".

When the captain announced through the loud speaker that everyone was only allowed one trip to the buffet, I googled it to make sure he was right about that. As the family walked to the line, Logan and dad started coming up with strategies on how to get the most food on the plate in one trip. They suggested lining up the sides of the plate like a big wall, and then piling food in the middle. I was laughing too hard about the suggestion that I never really got enough focus to try it out.

Before hand I looked at the menu and realized I didn't really like much of it, so I tried to build myself up to get enough courage to get TWO rolls instead of one. I knew it was against the rules, but I felt like we paid enough for me to have two rolls regardless. Rolls are usually the best parts about buffet's, anyway. Let's face it….buffets are usually mediocre at best and leave you beggin' for mercy by night fall.

I knew my brother was going to try to get two rolls, so I was watching him to see what he was going to do. The meat man was at the end of the table staring us down like he knew what we were up to. I watched pug with anticipation as he made it to the basket lined with white lenin, full of our forbidden rolls. He looked at the chef, then quickly ran away leaving with only ONE roll. WHAT?! I was losing my courage and fast. I ended up only grabbing one roll and walked to the table with disappointment in each step. "I wish I had enough guts to get a second roll" I said to Kate as I sat down. Next thing I know, I see Pug's plate full of rolls…apparently he had run up again when I wasn't looking and slipped his hand in really quick to grab one. At that point,I knew what I had to do. I had to stop being a wimp and get up there!!!!!

I slowly and nonchalauntly crept up to the buffet table leaving all inhibitions to the wind. I was a rebel in that moment, and it scared me to DEATH. I used my catlike quickness and grabbed a roll with one hand and started to run back to the table smashing into my older brother and a man along the way. When I got back to my seat I felt so much relief…that was the scariest experience I've had in a long time. "This is forbidden, Kate!" I said…she looked back at me with a gleam in here eye and said: "I'm about to be a little forbidden,too." and the next thing I know she's doing the same thing I just did! By this time the chefs had see our rebellion and began pointing at us and talking amongst themselves. One man mouthed "rolls" as he looked at our table in disgust. I didn't care…..the forbidden roll happened to be the best roll I'd ever tasted. Even better than the one I was allowed to eat.

After the "buffet" and I use that word VERY lightly, we went outside for our true redneck experience. There were a few too many that had a few too many and whooping and hollerin about EVERYTHING was a must. Old and young alike came together with their cigs,boondock hair dos, and revealing styles. The point of no return was probably when I looked over and saw the man dressed as an american flag flying down the hand rails with his wife in the sparkly mid drift top not far behind. Can I mention AGAIN that they were around fifty eight years old? Then I heard my brother say "Woa! They look suspicious." and I seriously think I saw my first imbred family. The couples rarely looked like a fit and it was quite normal to see a man half the size of his woman. But love comes in all forms, so no judgements here. I am really bad about staring, so my sister had to tell me a few times to be less obvious and to close my mouth. Speaking of mouths…a man's set of teeth almost fell out on me…

An enormous moth got stuck in my eyeball during the firework show. I was watching the sky without a care, when I was unexpectedly attacked by the flying creature. I looked to my left and right and both people were shocked at what they saw. The HUGE bug was halfway in my eye and halfway out….stuck in my mascara. We even have a video from one of the camera's that has pretty fireworks and all the sudden my sister screams "AHHH! There's a bug in Abby's eye!!!!"….And there certainly was. I didn't see much for the rest of the night.

All things considered….I think this fourth will probably stick with me for QUITE sometime.