*These Walls*

I remember walking into this room for the very first time. I know you can't actually have a relationship with four walls, but I felt an instant connection from the start. It was my very first personal space that I didn't have to share and I reveled in my newfound freedom. There are not many places I feel completely free in this life, but my room has been one of them. It's my safe zone.

It holds my secrets, my fears, my joys, my sorrows, and most of all it has been a place where the Lord has met with me time and time again. When the world outside pushed me from all sides and I felt like everything was going wrong, I could just close these doors and feel an element of safety. When I was in here, everything else was out there…and I liked it.

This room has seen so many things which has caused me to grow quite attached. I learned how to use make-up and what a blow dryer could do for my hair. I had many jr. high sleepovers and girl talks with my braces making quite the show. This room was the place I danced around after my first kiss when I was sixteen years old. August 4, 2004…how could I forget? I wrote down all my future kids names in a journal with lots of hearts the next day. (Taylor Swift's song "Fifteen" describes me in perfection at that age). I thought my dreams were always going to come true and love always had a happy ending. These walls hold my passionate dreaming heart that never thought I could be broken. These walls hold the days when I realized that wasn't true. These walls hold many tears. These walls hold my heart.

In this room I wrote many journals and had countless hours of closeness to the Lord that are so precious to me. My parents laugh about how I always get home and run strait to my room, but it's seriously one of my favorite places in the world. Leaving this room makes me feel like I'm literally having to let part of myself go and I think that's why I have to leave. Because the fact of the matter is, my safe place is in the Lord and it can't be found in a room even if it feels like it.

I can't hold onto the past anymore. I can't continue to open up to these walls every night. I can't continue to be terrified of change and the future. As my graduation balloons started to sag and reality set in, I realized pretty quickly that it was time to move on. It's time to leave the past behind and begin the next chapter in my life. It's time to leave the wonderful place my incredible parents have given me for so long. I have new walls to give my heart to and new memories to make. I have a future that will be full of changes and it's time to get used to it.

Even though this room is precious to me and my heart aches to leave, I am getting to take the most important part with me. Jesus Christ will be right beside me tomorrow in my new house and He has promised to follow me wherever I go. More importantly, He has promised to lead me to those places. I need Him to make my decisions for me, because I can't make the right ones on my own. I know He WILL be faithful and never forsake me and I can rest in that. Thank you, Lord for being the constant that never changes. You are way better than a room.