I went to FSM where none of the kids know about me and 15 of them thought I was Molly! I had a tally going on as an experiment per say. I was at Party City today getting my Halloween costume and a girl came up to me saying "MOLLY!!!!" and I said "Oh, sorry! I'm Abby..her twin!" Then at church later the SAME girl came up to me and said "Molly! I met your twin Abby at Party City today!!!!" HAHAHA!!!! FUNNY TIMES!!!! We don't look that much alike, unless you have no idea we have a twin. It was a really great time. I loved it. 15..that's a good number.
Being at FSM made me go down memory lane without even trying! I remembered what it felt like to be 14 years old and coming to church after two hours of trying to make myself look good. I didn't really know how to put on make-up that well, but I sure gave my best shot! All I cared about then was my boyfriend at the time...and for the next four years for that matter. I was distracted, because I looked around and saw countless girls making the same mistake I did. Holding hands during the prayer..whispering and laughing during the talk.Haven't they heard the Taylor Swift song "Fifteen"?! In my defense, that wasn't written yet! haha! We have no idea who we are at 15....and whoever we like feels like the one we are going to marry. But usually we don't have great judgement at all. Judgement on the character of boys I mean. I definitely had no judgment skills, and apparently I still don't, hence why the single life is for me. I wanted to just scream at those girls "RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!" but of course that would have been inapropriate. I just wanted this night to last forever, and time not to move so their precious hearts could be protected. I remember the days before I got my heart shattered into pieces. When you are 18 years old and your first love is stripped from you it FEELS like your life is ending. It FEELS like the tears will never stop. Luckily, it only FEELS that way, and it isn't a reality. Life goes on. Our teenage hormones and emotions calm down after a while. But I still don't want any one of those darling girls to have to feel like I did. That one took three years to get over, and I thought I was home free, but more heartbreak was to come. Maybe in this fallen world we are never truly home free. Maybe home free is on the other side of eternity. Sometimes we need to go through heartbreak for our greater good. The worst heartbreak I have ever known was definitely from that four year relationship in highschool. But I am better for it. I can relate to girls who are in that same mindset. Nobody could of talked me out of my decisions.I was such a fool. I was 14,15,16, and 17 years old thinking I had life figured out. Remembering back reminded me how far I've come....
It always seems like there's so much further to go, but I can rest in the fact that I have come so far. And the Lord has brought me through SO much!!!! I truly believe that there is nothing I can't do with Him. He has carried me and saved me from myself countless times. I pray that He will always save me from myself. That is the main thing we all need to be saved from. Like I always say..NEVER...NEVER...EVER follow your heart!!! You are BROKEN!!!!! Your heart is BROKEN!!!!! The natural thing for it to do is lead you the wrong way!!! So let the spirit lead! I wish I would have let the spirit lead back then! But I can't change anything from my past. What I CAN change is my now....and I am going to take advantage of that. :)
HAPPY FALL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO happy being home!!!! I had the BEST day!
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