I have always been most attracted to the man's man. Something comes alive in me with that type of guy that can't be explained exactly. Maybe it's the safety. Maybe it's the fact that they can do so much that I can't. Maybe it's the attraction. Maybe it's so many things put together.
The only problem is....these type of men have been the hardest for me to understand. I am packed full of pink and ribbons and emotion and I rarely see any signs of that when it comes to them, haha. It has always bothered me to be shhhed during a football game or left in the cold for a deer. If I liked someone I would want to talk to them as much as possible, so why doesn't a man? Why is watching sweaty men run into each other more important to view than the outfit I spent thirty minutes trying to pick out? What about the hour I spent to get ready?! Why doesn't he want to sit around and talk about how special he is like I want to? haha hmm, here's what is now a no brainer that I'm unfortunately just now realizing....BECAUSE he's a man. HELLO....and I think they don't even remember what outfits we wear, haha. All that time for nothing.
I think I have been wanting to find a manly guy with female qualities which is just crazy. Why have I not seen that before? Some women including myself become so nagging and unfortunate to be around because we expect men to think like women. If we did some of the things they did, it would be an act of hate, but to them...it may mean absolutely nothing. We try to look at men through our own eyes, but the problem is, we can't do that. We need to try to understand them for the perfect way God made them. They aren't meant to want to mute the football game and ask us how we are feeling...that's why we need our girl friends in our life!
Dad once tried to explain how talking during a football game is like someone talking to me during "So You Think You Can Dance"....the thought of that is terrible. Horrifying really. What a perfect example, haha. The other day at the dinner table I told my family: "Okay, so I've realized that I like the manly man best of all which means I need to find a way to be perfectly content with whatever comes with that." I need to be the best bean dip maker America has ever seen and learn to zip it and let the man have his football...because you know what I've realized? I think a man who loves football is secretly a man who is in touch with his emotions and does have a caring heart. Maybe that's where they tap into it. I know...sounds crazy, but let me explain.
I've made it my prerogative to investigate things about football and find what draws a man to it other than the obvious. Maybe....just maybe...it's because they have a good heart. I always hear the players talking about what a "family" they are and how the game will be full of emotion. I have seen men who NEVER cry, cry after a football game that has gone wrong. I see men holding hands or hugging each other on the field that never happens in real life. They find a true connection through football and there are so many stories involved. They are there for each other and are in this fight to reach a goal, counting on one another. The bond they have is strengthened through smashing into each other at practice and all the long hours they give to it. It's a way to be the type of man every woman wants without looking like a sissy. They aren't afraid to show emotion on their face after a game or hug another man....it just seems like all of that everyday man attitude is thrown to the wayside on the football field.
Or maybe football is just important to a man because he needs an escape from having the world on his shoulders the entire week. The constant pull to be a provider and know that his failures could cost so many people....that would be SUCH a hard thing to bare. Football has a way of taking you to another place, taking you away from the real world for those three hours. Maybe it's important for a man to get a break without a nagging in his ear.
It's hard to understand as a woman sometimes, because we see life so differently. So many things they do not meaning anything, but it hurts our feelings so much. We look at life the way a female does and think about how we would react and it's never like a man. It can be so confusing. But when I saw so many wonderful men doing the SAME things that bother us so much, I wanted to look into it further. When I fell in love with some first grade boys who constantly talk about football and want to be players when they grow up...something inside my started to open up. If I loved someone who played football, if they are on a team one day....I would be the biggest fan this world has ever seen! And I want everyone to be their fans, too..every man on that football field has a mother or woman who loves him. Isn't that a reason to be a football fan? I would want people to support someone I love!
The sad thing is, those boys I love so much would be the same type of boys I might nag when they are older. I look at them and want to stop myself. These boys deserve so much love and respect and unfortunately the confusing differences between most male and females tend to bring about rough results sometimes. But maybe it doesn't always have to be that way. Maybe we can try to understand one another and even get to a point of encouraging or getting excited about the things we don't understand or that hurt our feelings before. Maybe if we can't wrap our minds around it, we just need to pray and ask God for us to know enough to do the right thing for them. I pray that my students and my future baby boys find women who can encourage them to be men and not nag them for it.
I have recently learned this important lesson and I think it will be one I will need to continue to think about and work on. I'm also learning that with things like football, there's something for everyone. You just sometimes have to look for it. We can all be fans if we are open to it!
I'm also realizing that I'm glad I'm not married yet. I'm glad because each year I learn something huge that will help me be a better woman for him. Maybe waiting out the years and not being in a rush to find the right person is the most loving thing I can do these days.
For me anyway. :)
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