*That's MY Toothbrush!!!*

You may think the life of a twin is glamorous, but I assure you it's not always sunshines and rainbows. I never even owned my own pair of socks until Molly got married if that tells you anything. I haven't had any issues lately, but Molly has been staying at the house this week which has brought back some debacles from the past.

We both happen to have the same type of toothbrush only mine is orange and hers is red. The orange and red are VERY close to the same so it can get confusing at times. I knew that mine was orange because I have been using the same one for a while now, but I think Molly did not pay attention to details in the morning this week.

I brought my toothbrush to school today because I knew we were having a professional development meeting after school. It's just wrong for someone to go over 8 hours without brushing their teeth, so I made sure I wouldn't forget it. All was well until I got home and realized I left my toothbrush at school and needed one for home. Thankfully, my mom has a huge stash of extra toothbrushes for guests, so I went to grab one from her drawer.

When I got into her bathroom she looked at me a little frustrated and said: "You and Molly keep losing your toothbrushes ALL the time, this has GOT to stop!" Lose my toothbrush? What? I never lose it. What is she talking about? "Mom, I left it at school. I know exactly where it is! I'm tired of bringing it to and from school, so I'm getting another one for home." Her frustration left a little but not all the way:"Well, Molly lost hers today and you both came and took another toothbrush."

I didn't think much about that comment until I got into the bathroom and noticed Molly's toothbrush sitting in the cup like it always is. "Molly, your toothbrush is RIGHT here!!!" I said starting to question in my mind what was going on. I had a faint thought that she might have been using my toothbrush all week, but it scared me too much to even think about. I heard Molly walking nearer and suddenly she said these dreaded words: "No, that's not mine! Mine is an orange one and it disappeared!!!" *INSERT MAJOR RECORD SCRATCH!!!* I knew exactly where the missing toothbrush was.

"No, Molly! That's MY toothbrush and I took it to school! Have you been using it all week?!"

"What?! Abby! MINE is the orange one! Gross, you've been sick and I scrubbed back to my tonsils with your germs!" Apparently she has been making herself at home in my business. I've been living in this house using the orange toothbrush for a while now and Molly moves in and decides it's hers.

It was too awful to focus on and so I tried to be positive and move on. We quickly got rid of the other toothbrush and each got a new one. Once I picked mine out, I came in to put it in the cup and was shocked to see that Molly had picked out the SAME pink one as me! So now we have the SAME toothbrush... AGAIN. Sharpie, where's the sharpie?!

Yes…the life of a twin has it's disadvantages to be sure.

*No Wonder*

Children; God's gift from above and precious treasures He takes great delight in. He speaks of how the Kingdom belongs to such as these and I understand more of what that means after a moment with a little girl tonight.

I was babysitting two 6 yr. olds from my kindergarten class which went really well until bedtime. I kissed the kids goodnight and went downstairs to watch "House Hunters" for a little while. About fifteen minutes later I heard little footsteps coming down the stairs in a terrified fashion. I looked back to see a little girl with a blankie over her head and fear in her eyes.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I said and motioned for her to come sit with me on the couch. "I'm really scared" she said with wide eyes. "Oh no…why are you scared? Why don't we go upstairs and talk about it together while I snuggle you up in bed."

We went up the stairs really quietly so we wouldn't wake her brother up. Once I tucked her back in bed I asked more questions to try to figure out what was going on. "A robber is going to come in my house!" she said in all seriousness. "Why would you think that? You are very safe." I said trying to convince her that there was nothing to fear. She then went on to tell about how people had guns in Batman and she thinks they will come and get her. Her face told the story that she truly believed she was in danger. I tried to calm her down: "You are in a really nice neighborhood with alarm systems, and did you know bad people are afraid of alarm systems? And besides, the Lord is our protector and He promises to help us and tells us not to fear."

I asked her where her bible was and we opened up to the back and read all the verses about fear and how the Lord says to fear not and that He is with us. As I was reading those verses she held onto them like her life depended on it. I would talk to her about each verse and say things like: "See? Jesus will take care of us because He loves us. We are His treasures. It makes Him sad when we are afraid. And even if something not very fun did happen, God would bring good from it. Did you know that? The only people who need to fear are those who are not on God's side."

"Bad people don't know God do they?" she said with a thoughtful tone. "No, I don't think they do. They should be the ones who are truly scared! Jesus has more power than anyone else by far, so it doesn't look very good for them." She changed her mood at the realization that she is on the right team and the bad guys are not.

"Well, the night is still kind of spooky." she said a little less scared. "Yep, it can get kind of spooky sometimes. But you know what I do? When I'm scared I say 'Jesus, I'm scared! Help me, please.' I think you should try that. He is always with you. You have faith when you know He is sitting beside you just like I am right now. When you are scared Jesus is hugging you even when you can't see him."

Her eyes softened and she cuddled down further in bed. She closed her eyes with all of her fear gone. "Are you okay if I go back downstairs? He is with you even when I'm gone so there is no reason to be afraid." "You are right." she said "He is here." Then she grabbed her stuffed animal and fell asleep with all of her fears and doubts wiped away by her Savior. If only we all had faith come so easily. No wonder the Lord holds the little ones close to His heart.

*I LIKE My Mustache!*

I just scared my sister half to death because I was jumping around in the bathroom when she was trying to sleep. I guess I need to remember common courtesies that I've forgotten since I haven't had to share space in a long time. I was laughing and jumping over Casey Abram's freak out on American Idol tonight, but Molly says I have him beat. "You are making fun of Casey's freak out, but look at YOURSELF"…. I guess she has a point.

Today we went to get manicures and pedicures at a local nail salon. As usual the ladies spoke in a foreign language and laughed while doing my nails which is always a little disturbing to me. Today I said: "Excuse me, what are you saying?" and all she did was look at me and laugh really hard. I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

If that didn't offend me enough, she decided to take it to the next level little later. I decided to get my eyebrows waxed because I was already there and figured it would go pretty smoothly. Once I got in there she waxed my eyebrows and then went on to tell me about how HORRIBLE my mustache was and that I really needed to get it taken care of.

I was told by the front desk lady that they do that on purpose to try to make more money, but I think it's a TERRIBLE sales tactic. There's no WAY I'm paying someone money because they humiliate me into it. Maybe they are used to costumers who are afraid to say no, but I am Abby and I am NOT afraid to say no. Believe that.

If I wanted to get my mustache ripped off, I would've asked for it in the first place. I'm pretty sure I look at myself everyday in the mirror and know what's happening on my face more than anyone else. I may not be as smooth as a fish, but lip waxes hurt like fire and it's just not worth it to me. "I DON'T WANT A LIP WAX, THANK YOU!" I said firmly, but she decided to push further. She began to look closer and closer at my upper lip with a disgusted face and even forced a mirror on me saying "LOOK!!! BAD!!"….. I finally got fed up.

"I LIKE MY MUSTACHE!!! Don't touch my mustache!!!!!! I won't come here again if you try to take it away!!!" Our relationship was a little bit awkward after that moment, but she didn't say anything again.

*Getting Over the Over*

It's over. My first rotation is complete and I am a big ball of emotion.

I am a pitiful site to see, moping around the house missing my kids. I have an 8 x 10 photo of the class by my bed if that gives you any indication of where my heart is. I have notes and drawings and paper flowers from my students around the room as decoration to try and comfort me this weekend. All it has done is make me think about them more. 6 weeks was not nearly long enough.

Friday night there was a thunderstorm and all I could think about was that I hope none of my kids are waking up scared. Saturday rolled around and I wondered how a student's birthday party was going. I sat and stared at a picture of me and the class which made me laugh at all their poses and then cry because I wouldn't get a picture like that again. I'm THIS close to wiping my tears with chocolate wrappers. I'm telling you….I'm out of control.

Teaching in elementary school is different from a lot of professions in the fact that it not only takes your time and effort, but it takes all of your heart. You basically give your life to it and are never fully off the job. You are seriously so vulnerable sometimes if you truly open your heart to loving the kids. I feel so much happiness and love, but it breaks my heart to see students in bad situations I can't change. Not to mention there's always that fateful goodbye at the end of the year. I can't wait until I actually have a job at a certain school, so I can know the kids for years instead of just falling in love and having them ripped from my life.

Okay, I'm being a little dramatic, but that's how it feels right now. I do have babysitting jobs lined up and I AM at the same school for one more half of the semester. I can go say hello to my babies at lunch and I'll be sure to visit as well. That makes it a little easier!

I have seen God's faithfulness SO much this semester. I prayed for many months about my internship because I was scared to death from horror stories I had heard. The Lord ended up answering my prayer as "yes" but it was actually so much more than that. Sometimes God answers my prayers even better than I could ever of imagined and that's what he did for me this semester! The Lord is so good to me!!! Now more than ever I know that when His will lines up with my prayers, He answers them exceedingly more than I could of asked or imagined just like He says He will.

It's times like these when the Lord comes through for me that I see the heart of God. I know my prayers that aren't answered as a "Yes" must have a good reason not to be. My God is too good not to have serious reasons not to bring everything I want to pass. Maybe it's not time, maybe it's not best for me….either way, the way God chooses to answer my prayers and direct my life is the RIGHT way.

The Lord is taking care of me and I saw that very clearly through my placement in rotation 1 this semester. I am so thankful and am in awe of what God has done. I was allowed to take care of 18 of God's treasured children for a short 6 weeks time. Do you know how precious the children are to the Lord? Do you know what an honor it is that He is allowing me to do this? He does not take the care of His babies lightly.

*GO GET THE CAKE!!!*

Right now my parents are snoring back in their room and it's 7:56pm. I would gladly be asleep myself, but I figure I need about thirty more minutes to let my mind escape to another place for a little while. That's what's so great about writing…nothing else in the world matters at that point except for the words. It's a beautiful place to go.

I have always wondered why I love to go to bed so early when the rest of the world tends to stay up late enough to feel random earthquakes. The night just doesn't suite me well. I notice if I stay up past 11pm I get WAY too contemplative about my life and that is never good. Early bedtimes bring about sanity and less over analyzations which I try to stick to. I think life is a lot less complicated than we make it sometimes.

On another note, I have a confession to make. My mom has said I've been a little bit foul lately and she is completely right. This internship is making me physically tired and starving by the end of the day which is a bad combination. I am a bear if I do not eat enough and unfortunately that happened yesterday. I am usually hungry from working all day and will eat dinner around 4, but yesterday I tried to wait till 5:30 which was a BAD IDEA. I knew I was going to eat at a Mexican restaurant (and I'm sure you all know how that can go) so I was trying to forgo my afternoon snack for my own good.

Waiting after school for those few hours was TORTURE. My mom called me "super foul" which was probably giving me mercy to be honest. I laid on the couch complaining: "Ahh, I'm never going to get a job, I'm sooo tired, I'm sooooo hungry, my life is one big stressful moment!!!" I kept going on for a little while until mom almost MADE me eat a piece of cookie cake. I don't think many households have arguments like this:Me-"When is dad getting home?! How much longer?! AHHH! HUNGRY! My life is so bad!!! My future is so uncertain!" Mom- "Abby! Would you just eat that cookie cake already and stop being so foul?! GO GET THE CAKE!!!!!!"

I didn't get the cake, but my poor parents had to put up with me until we ate. I finally got to the Mexican place and was so out of my mind that I asked if they sell refried beans in a panicky state. Luckily, it was a fast place and we got our food pretty quick. It was as if my life did a 180 degree turn in about five mintues. Everything felt right in the world again and I wanted to do a tap dance on a piano! I was laughing really hard as happy feelings burst from within me. I didn't even remember why I was so stressed in the first place. I was no longer in the pit of despair and all it took was a bowl of refried beans and some cheesedip to bring happiness into my life again.

I sometimes wonder how all those skinny little girls out there stay sane? That's a legitimate question if I ever heard one. I watched an entire season of America's Next Top Model over the weekend and all I could think the whole time is: "Man, this is making me hungry!"…I might be one of the only girls that does not have trouble being jealous of the girls on TV. I am completely happy to be me and wouldn't trade places for a second! Those ladies are quite catty and I think I have a sneaky suspicion as to why. Nobody would want to see me like that, I really do become a foul human being and it's embarrassing to admit. I would be front and center in all the drama previews to pull in unsuspecting viewers.

Anyway, I'm about to go to bed. For the people out there that sometimes ask me why I'm so positive….it's not a hard answer. Anyone can be happy with a little cheesedip and beans and Jesus. That is all.