I have always struggled with trusting God. I KNOW the truths and I do believe them, but when it comes to truly trusting God to come through for me, I sometimes find myself faltering. God taking care of me sometimes doesn't look the way that I want it to and my human frailty causes my faith to lose it's luster. Uncertainty in my heart can creep in more easily than I'd like to admit.
"God, I know you are faithful. I know you promise to take care of me, but it would be nice if I had something tangible to help me remember that. Sometimes I chase after things in this life because I can FEEL them…I can SEE them. I know that's wrong and they become idols, but sometimes I find it easier. It always ends up leaving me empty, but I do it anyway which I hate. I guess I just want something tangible from you…something I can feel and touch to know that you are going to keep your promises to me. I want to have something to remember you are going to take care of me when things get uncertain. I'm a broken human and I don't deal well with uncertainty at all. I know that's wrong and I really don't need something my hands can touch, but I would like that, ya know?"
…..I guess He did know.
Last Thursday my cheerleaders were heading to an away game when one girl realized she forgot her cheer shoes. Obviously, without the cheer shoes it's hard to cheer and it was going to mess up the entire night. They were hoping that there would be extra somewhere, but nobody could come up with any ideas. They just kept driving to the game with no promise of a pair of cheer shoes.
As they were driving down the road a little later, they suddenly spotted something white on the side of the road. When they got closer, they realized that it was a pair of bright, white tennis shoes. The girls told the driver to stop so they could get out and look, but the mom obviously told the girls not to jump out into the street. Well, she ended up getting them herself and GUESS WHAT…..there on the side of the road was a brand new pair of white cheer shoes!!!! NEW TAG AND ALL…..A PERFECT fit to the girl who needed them. The squad took a picture with the miracle shoes and they were GLOWING in the picture. That part is kind of funny, but very fitting. They don't glow in the picture I took of them, but I know they are a miracle.
I wasn't there for the Thursday game, but was there at the Monday game to hear the story. The entire thing threw me for a loop and I was in awe of how the Lord provided for my cheerleaders that night. "Man, I would LOVE to have these miracles shoes!" I said looking at them mesmerized. "Well, take them!" the other coach said to me a few seconds later. Me? Take them? I was surprised that I could keep them because they WERE miracle shoes and all. Why would I be the one to get them? I wasn't even there. It all seemed so….odd.
I took the shoes to my car and as I was driving home I touched them with my right hand at a stoplight to see if they were real. I kid you not, while I was touching them, I heard that small voice of God I've heard since childhood say to me very clearly: "See? I will take care of you just like I took care of her with these shoes. Wear them on the days when you need reminding."
I got home and put on the shoes….they were a perfect fit. Can you BELIEVE that?!?!? I know…it seems like it's impossible. I might even sound a little crazy to some people, but it really did happen!!!
Even now I can hardly believe that all of this is true and I feel so loved by God that I can't really express how it makes me feel in words. I have the shoes out right now so I can see them every time I wake up and I get such comfort from it. Sometimes when I think about God…..I feel so small. But other times like this, I feel so important. Like I matter so much to God and that He truly cares about how I feel and what will help me. Maybe the girl forgot her shoes just for me. I have no idea how the shoes got onto the side of the road in perfect condition, but there they were- waiting for her…waiting for me. The miracle shoes might have helped them that night, but they will continue to help me for a lifetime.
Will I get married in those miracle cheer shoes? Absolutely. Will I be buried in them? I hope so…and don't y'all forget that. Just like He provided shoes for my cheerleaders, He will provide for me when I need it. Everything will make sense….and the shoes will remind everyone of how faithful God is whether we feel it that day or not.
Praise the King of Kings who is higher than anything else in existence, yet bends down to help his precious, broken humans that He holds so dear. Nothing is too small for Him to get involved in….not even a matter of the feet.
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