Sunday, April 11, 2010

*I was kissed by an old man….*

It's seriously the middle of the night and I've only slept about three hours. I have no idea why I'm awake, but I'm thinking that the massive nap I took yesterday is completely throwing off my sleeping patterns. I woke up to a nightmare image of this old man with a scratchy mustache that kissed me yesterday during serve day. Not only was it against all that a germophobe stands for, but his mustache has left me in a state of shock as well.

Now, before you start thinking I am a little squeezeball that kisses old men, let me explain. We were weeding gardens at a mentally challenged home, so I think the man is still on a young child's brain level. Either way, the kiss he gave me still felt quite inappropriate. It's a shame because I've been kissless for over a year now and have been quite proud of myself. I wonder if I'm supposed to start my timing over at zero, or if I can just keep counting as though nothing ever happened. It's a very grey area and sort of special circumstance, really.

Apparently I missed the memo that serve day consisted of kissing the residents after hard labor. All I really wanted was to find a bathroom after weeding gardens for two hours. One of the kids I was working with pointed to this woman and said that she would know where to go. She looked like she was in charge, so I walked right over in desperate need of some help. It wasn't long after I asked where a bathroom was that I realized I might be asking the wrong person. The moment I said hello I got a huge hug and kiss from the woman and then the older man came over for a little taste of Abby as well. As the woman was kissing my cheek, I suddenly saw the face of this man getting closer and closer…his mustache was looming in front of me. Next thing I know my lips were consumed by this man, and a woman was kissing my cheek at the SAME TIME! I am NOT a physical touch person, especially to strangers, so I was not feeling comfortable at all. Even if I was a physical touch person I'm not sure that would be comfortable situation. I am sort of laughing thinking back on it…but then again I am sort of not.

The worst part was that his mustache was very prickly and gave me the strangest feeling. I have no idea how women kiss men with bushy mustaches all the time. It wasn't just a weird feeling…it HURT! It was like sand paper scraping against my lips and left an oder-filled smell behind. It's like bad breath was literally painted on me with the stash. And since we already know I have a case of halitaphobia, you can understand what a nightmare that was. Although, I did really well not making the man feel weird, because I totally took the fact that he was mentally challenged into consideration. If any other guy came up and did that, I'm sure things would not go as smoothly for them. These lips are very special and not just anyone can leave a trace of their breakfast behind on them.

When we got back to school afterwards one of the kids that came with us was interviewed by the megaphone and asked what their favorite part about serve day was. The answer: "When Abby was kissed by an old man." haha! At least my nightmare gave someone a good time. And I mean…like I said in my interview "I do what I can to help the community".

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