*My Life is Average*

One of the websites that I sometimes like to look at is called "mylifeisaverage.com". It's a website full of people telling stories about their average lives that are so funny, mostly because I can relate to many of them. Today I had a moment that made me think of that website and all the average lives out there.

All of the students who have a 3.7 or above GPA were invited to this academic awards banquet tonight. I have only won one award in my entire life that was not participation and it was a Choir award in 8th grade. She probably just picked names from a cup, because all I did in there was lip sinc. Even if me winning the award was a fluke, it felt really great being dressed up among the smart kids. For that moment, nobody knew that I was sitting on a D in pre-algebra. Nobody knew that I got my first C in math in the fourth grade. Nobody knew that I couldn't even read until the second grade. For that one day in 8th grade,I was just another smart kid getting recognized for my scholarly affairs. It made me feel important, and I liked that feeling. That is, until the banquet actually began. It was the most boring thing I ever had to sit through! I was like..WOA….why are we punished for being smart? This thing is LAME. So from then on my feelings about award's banquets were changed for the worst. I didn't want my name to be picked out of the cup for choir again. Being mediocre meant that I could be at home dancing and eating hotdogs, instead of sitting through a boring session. I never wanted to attend anything academia ever again!

Today, however, my feelings were a little different. I kinda felt left out, especially since I work my tail off for my grades. There's a point where my brain just hits a wall and information is nowhere to be found. Making a 3.7 would probably cost me a limb. Ya, I'd have my certificate, but no hand left to receive it with. I look in my brain for information about math and science and it's completely empty. But I work really hard and turn everything in, and I haven't skipped class once this semester. I'm never even late to class! Some of the students invited to those awards banquets are LATE a ton! But me, Miss Prompt…not invited. It's all about the numbers. I do want to have some sort of recognition for all I'm doing. Maybe I'm just working hard to work hard and be better in my own life. I guess recognition doesn't really matter too much in the end. But if I won an award my facebook status would be about it for the next thirty days.

Anyway, my average moment came when everyone of the smart kids were in their awards banquet and I was running from security. I wanted to get some water bottles from the student center and all the academicy people had taken the parking places! So rude! I mean….people with GPA's lower than 3.7 deserve a parking place, too! So I decided that parking on the off limits sidewalk next to the front door would be my best option. I was only parking for three minutes AT MOST. I am not happy that I didn't obey the rules, because I am a definite rule follower….but I was already not invited to the banquet, you see. I just wanted some water.

Once I got my water, I noticed this security man with a notepad of tickets to give on his way outside. I knew that my car was going to be first on the list, so I seriously started RUNNING in front of him down the stairs like a mad woman. I heard him call my name (Yes, they know my name) and I just pretended like I saw something very interesting on the horizon. I ran as fast and I could, got into my car, tried to put my drink in the cup holder but my sanitizer knocked it over. I was FREAKING out..my blood pressure was rising fast and I felt like I was running for my life. I started my car really quickly and as he almost got to my window, I put it in drive and was outta there!!!! I don't think he knew I saw him. I love security and we are very good friends thanks to past experiences. Run in's with security can be very great for our relationship, but not when I'm in the wrong. I like confrontation if I'm not gonna lose, and I was definitely about to lose.

My escape made me realize I will not park in that place anymore, because I do feel guilty when I don't follow the rules. But this one time I wanted to rebel because I wasn't invited to the banquet. Can't this school see that I'm always busy doing something academic? Don't they realize that I have to say no to many social endeavors to the educational cause? They must have missed the memo.

Basically, what it comes down to is while every scholarly student was enjoying their academic banquet…I was running from security. That is all.
Love, My life is average

*I was kissed by an old man….*

It's seriously the middle of the night and I've only slept about three hours. I have no idea why I'm awake, but I'm thinking that the massive nap I took yesterday is completely throwing off my sleeping patterns. I woke up to a nightmare image of this old man with a scratchy mustache that kissed me yesterday during serve day. Not only was it against all that a germophobe stands for, but his mustache has left me in a state of shock as well.

Now, before you start thinking I am a little squeezeball that kisses old men, let me explain. We were weeding gardens at a mentally challenged home, so I think the man is still on a young child's brain level. Either way, the kiss he gave me still felt quite inappropriate. It's a shame because I've been kissless for over a year now and have been quite proud of myself. I wonder if I'm supposed to start my timing over at zero, or if I can just keep counting as though nothing ever happened. It's a very grey area and sort of special circumstance, really.

Apparently I missed the memo that serve day consisted of kissing the residents after hard labor. All I really wanted was to find a bathroom after weeding gardens for two hours. One of the kids I was working with pointed to this woman and said that she would know where to go. She looked like she was in charge, so I walked right over in desperate need of some help. It wasn't long after I asked where a bathroom was that I realized I might be asking the wrong person. The moment I said hello I got a huge hug and kiss from the woman and then the older man came over for a little taste of Abby as well. As the woman was kissing my cheek, I suddenly saw the face of this man getting closer and closer…his mustache was looming in front of me. Next thing I know my lips were consumed by this man, and a woman was kissing my cheek at the SAME TIME! I am NOT a physical touch person, especially to strangers, so I was not feeling comfortable at all. Even if I was a physical touch person I'm not sure that would be comfortable situation. I am sort of laughing thinking back on it…but then again I am sort of not.

The worst part was that his mustache was very prickly and gave me the strangest feeling. I have no idea how women kiss men with bushy mustaches all the time. It wasn't just a weird feeling…it HURT! It was like sand paper scraping against my lips and left an oder-filled smell behind. It's like bad breath was literally painted on me with the stash. And since we already know I have a case of halitaphobia, you can understand what a nightmare that was. Although, I did really well not making the man feel weird, because I totally took the fact that he was mentally challenged into consideration. If any other guy came up and did that, I'm sure things would not go as smoothly for them. These lips are very special and not just anyone can leave a trace of their breakfast behind on them.

When we got back to school afterwards one of the kids that came with us was interviewed by the megaphone and asked what their favorite part about serve day was. The answer: "When Abby was kissed by an old man." haha! At least my nightmare gave someone a good time. And I mean…like I said in my interview "I do what I can to help the community".

*I have a case of Halitaphobia!!!*

Ever since I can remember I have had this extreme phobia of bad breath. I am always thinking about when I can brush my teeth and when I forget my gum I go into a panic mode. Not only that, I am constantly forcing myself to stay back from people so that their bad breath doesn't cause me to think differently about them. I'm also worried that my breath might have been bad before and there are people on earth still recollecting that fact as I do about them. Stinky breath really does effect me, and I can't spend my time around people who consistently give off an odor. I know it sounds mean, but if you were in the 2% of people who discover the world through their nose, you would understand!!!! You would be highly afraid of bad breath yourself!!!It wasn't until I saw this commercial on youtube that I realized that it is actually a legit phobia that some people have. It's called halitaphobia which really just means: "fear of bad breath". I know that I have this disease because I think about bad breath ALL the time.

I can remember many memories of being overcome with someones breath and those thoughts really haunt me. I honestly have a hard time looking past a moment like that, especially if that person is consistent in their smells. Bad breath every now and then is fine, but you have to be willing to be told that you need a mint. Be open to those critisms because it's so important. In fourth grade I sat by this boy that always came to school with crusties on his face and had horrifyingly bad breath. I got my first "C" in fourth grade and I blame it on that boy completely! If I smell something fishy, I can't concentrate on anything else.

The sad truth is that usually the people with chronic bad breath have no desire or thoughts towards changing that fact. Like the commercial says: "It's time you develop a case of halitophobia!" and how truer can a statement be? I'm not saying that I am above everyone else and never suffer from breath issues, but hello! At least I am willing to do something about it!!!! I brush my teeth three times a day and try my best to have some form of backup in my purse for those rough times of the day. Why can't everyone do this courtesy?! The world suffers when your breath reaks!!!!!!!!! I suffer! My first bad grade came from a boy with bad breath!!! I think that possibly my below average grade in Science right now is connected to that in someway!

Back in Jr. High I used to say "BREATH RUINS EVERYTHING" all the time. It really does. So please, feel free to tell me when I need to take action, because I am fighting this fight as well. Most of us are. We are not alone!!! Help your friends out! Share that last piece of gum! Spread the world of freshness!!!! But don't tell someone they have bad breath when they are in the middle of yelling in your face, because from personal experience that only adds fuel to the fire even IF you were just trying to help them out.

That's all for now.