*Men and Football*

God loves men. He loves the way He made them and He doesn't think He made any mistakes. I am learning just how much He cares for them in the oddest way....I am learning about it through football.

I have always been most attracted to the man's man. Something comes alive in me with that type of guy that can't be explained exactly. Maybe it's the safety. Maybe it's the fact that they can do so much that I can't. Maybe it's the attraction. Maybe it's so many things put together.

The only problem is....these type of men have been the hardest for me to understand. I am packed full of pink and ribbons and emotion and I rarely see any signs of that when it comes to them, haha. It has always bothered me to be shhhed during a football game or left in the cold for a deer. If I liked someone I would want to talk to them as much as possible, so why doesn't a man? Why is watching sweaty men run into each other more important to view than the outfit I spent thirty minutes trying to pick out? What about the hour I spent to get ready?! Why doesn't he want to sit around and talk about how special he is like I want to? haha hmm, here's what is now a no brainer that I'm unfortunately just now realizing....BECAUSE he's a man. HELLO....and I think they don't even remember what outfits we wear, haha. All that time for nothing.

I think I have been wanting to find a manly guy with female qualities which is just crazy. Why have I not seen that before? Some women including myself become so nagging and unfortunate to be around because we expect men to think like women. If we did some of the things they did, it would be an act of hate, but to them...it may mean absolutely nothing. We try to look at men through our own eyes, but the problem is, we can't do that. We need to try to understand them for the perfect way God made them. They aren't meant to want to mute the football game and ask us how we are feeling...that's why we need our girl friends in our life!

Dad once tried to explain how talking during a football game is like someone talking to me during "So You Think You Can Dance"....the thought of that is terrible. Horrifying really. What a perfect example, haha. The other day at the dinner table I told my family: "Okay, so I've realized that I like the manly man best of all which means I need to find a way to be perfectly content with whatever comes with that." I need to be the best bean dip maker America has ever seen and learn to zip it and let the man have his football...because you know what I've realized? I think a man who loves football is secretly a man who is in touch with his emotions and does have a caring heart. Maybe that's where they tap into it. I know...sounds crazy, but let me explain.

I've made it my prerogative to investigate things about football and find what draws a man to it other than the obvious. Maybe....just maybe...it's because they have a good heart. I always hear the players talking about what a "family" they are and how the game will be full of emotion. I have seen men who NEVER cry, cry after a football game that has gone wrong. I see men holding hands or hugging each other on the field that never happens in real life. They find a true connection through football and there are so many stories involved. They are there for each other and are in this fight to reach a goal, counting on one another. The bond they have is strengthened through smashing into each other at practice and all the long hours they give to it. It's a way to be the type of man every woman wants without looking like a sissy. They aren't afraid to show emotion on their face after a game or hug another man....it just seems like all of that everyday man attitude is thrown to the wayside on the football field.

Or maybe football is just important to a man because he needs an escape from having the world on his shoulders the entire week. The constant pull to be a provider and know that his failures could cost so many people....that would be SUCH a hard thing to bare. Football has a way of taking you to another place, taking you away from the real world for those three hours. Maybe it's important for a man to get a break without a nagging in his ear.

It's hard to understand as a woman sometimes, because we see life so differently. So many things they do not meaning anything, but it hurts our feelings so much. We look at life the way a female does and think about how we would react and it's never like a man. It can be so confusing. But when I saw so many wonderful men doing the SAME things that bother us so much, I wanted to look into it further. When I fell in love with some first grade boys who constantly talk about football and want to be players when they grow up...something inside my started to open up. If I loved someone who played football, if they are on a team one day....I would be the biggest fan this world has ever seen! And I want everyone to be their fans, too..every man on that football field has a mother or woman who loves him. Isn't that a reason to be a football fan? I would want people to support someone I love!

The sad thing is, those boys I love so much would be the same type of boys I might nag when they are older. I look at them and want to stop myself. These boys deserve so much love and respect and unfortunately the confusing differences between most male and females tend to bring about rough results sometimes. But maybe it doesn't always have to be that way. Maybe we can try to understand one another and even get to a point of encouraging or getting excited about the things we don't understand or that hurt our feelings before. Maybe if we can't wrap our minds around it, we just need to pray and ask God for us to know enough to do the right thing for them. I pray that my students and my future baby boys find women who can encourage them to be men and not nag them for it.

I have recently learned this important lesson and I think it will be one I will need to continue to think about and work on. I'm also learning that with things like football, there's something for everyone. You just sometimes have to look for it. We can all be fans if we are open to it!

I'm also realizing that I'm glad I'm not married yet. I'm glad because each year I learn something huge that will help me be a better woman for him. Maybe waiting out the years and not being in a rush to find the right person is the most loving thing I can do these days.

For me anyway. :)

*What I learned in 2011*

I remember when I was younger I would count the years to see when I would finally grow up. I always stopped at 2011 and knew that would be the year that changed everything for me. I'd be grown and finally find my place in the world. I often wondered what my life would be like once I made it to this year that felt so far away then. I never really thought about the time to come after 2011...maybe because I couldn't fathom being any older than 23 at the time.

2011 did prove to be the year that changed everything for me. It's been a huge year of transition and becoming who I studied to be for so long. As any year before, it's been a year of ups and downs, but I am glad to say the ups for me far outweigh any of the downs. I have been truly blessed in more ways than one and any hard time has proven to be a learning experience. I don't think I'd change a thing about 2011. It taught me so many lessons.

I learned to trust God's timing. I was so upset this time last year that I was in college a year late, but now I am seeing that if I graduated on time I wouldn't of gotten the job that I did and I might not have the students that I do now. It was so worth it to make it through an extra year to fit right into the time table that made me and my student's lives intertwine the beautiful way they do now. I wouldn't change anything. Not one tear, not one stressful night, not one meeting in the library, not one of the many times of questioning I had to go through to get to where I am today...it was worth it. It all came together in the right timing. It all came together better than I could have ever imagined back in my childhood days.

I learned that to love, to truly love, you may open yourself up to experience loss. I loved my students in my internship so deeply it felt like I almost broke in half when I had to leave them. I questioned how I was ever going to have a career that took my heart with it every single year. I wonder the same thing today as I think about next year when I won't have the same kids that I do now. I kinda wish that I could be like Mr. Feenie and be their teacher every year until they graduate, but nobody in their right mind wants me to be a high school teacher. Apparently trying to sit high schoolers in your lap when you think they've had a bad day doesn't go over well. Saying "Bye babies! Have fun at recess...love you!" isn't exactly what a teen is looking for. But how can you love little people so much and just let them go every year? I'm not quite sure yet, but what I do know is that any pain I feel from the loss was worth it to love with everything I had and it will be worth it again. To love deeply, I think our hearts have to be brave enough to feel pain. But the pain is worth it. Love is the greatest thing we can ever do for ourselves.

I learned that a nephew is a true treasure sent from the Lord himself. I can't comprehend my life without Samuel and I am so thankful to have him in my life. This morning I was woken up by a light and walked into Molly's room to see what it was. There Samuel was laying there, kicking his feet in the air. When he saw me he smiled so big and wrapped his little hands around my neck. He's growing up so fast. It's like he's no longer just a little baby, but a little person.

I learned that it's easier to grow up than I thought it was. Walking into my internship in January, I had no idea how I would ever manage a classroom by myself. I was terrified out of my mind and felt like there was no way I would find my footing in the scary real world. It seemed so out of reach, but I had the best support behind me and the most encouraging internship teacher that helped me figure out that I can be so much more than I thought I could. I slowly watched myself crack out of my timid shell and blossom into a confident teacher that took control of the room with an ease I never thought would come. It all started to fall into place and I realized that I could do this. I could be a teacher and I was more prepared than I knew. I was proud of who I was going to be and I liked watching who I had become. My last months in college were the most defining and I knew by the end of it that I was ready. Truly ready.

I learned that getting a first job offer is one of the most thrilling experiences ever! I don't think I got over that joyful high for months!! I was so happy and in awe and could not believe that such good things were happening for me. I couldn't believe how I got an offer at one of the greatest places to teach in the entire world BEFORE I even had my degree! It was one of the greatest feelings in my entire life and I will treasure those moments forever. I still think of my little corner classroom and feel so blessed to be where I am. It's almost unbelievable... but thankfully it's true.

I learned that sometimes I'm the bad guy. Sometimes I need to be the one to change in a situation. I learned that I always need to look at myself when offended by another, because I tend to be in the wrong, too. Sometimes I AM the wrong. Isn't it terrible when that's the case?

I learned that sometimes people come and go in my life to refine me. To teach me things about myself and help me realize what I need to work on. I learned that just because things don't work out with a guy, doesn't mean I have to feel offended or be angry at that person. This year has been a notorious year for dates gone wrong from it's beginning to it's end. It's almost comical thinking back on the whole year. Three guys...three guys with colorful stories to tell about each which is like WAY more than I bargained for in 2011. But maybe that's okay...maybe every time I'm getting one step closer to becoming who I'm supposed to be. Maybe I'm little bit closer to knowing what I want, and what I want to be for that person. My person. The person that will be single as long as I am. :)

I learned that God knows what He's doing and gives me the strength as I need it. He has had every encounter, every person met, and every single second of this year in the palm of his hand. There is nothing that was a surprise to Him and there won't be in 2012, either. He has been what has gotten me through this very defining year in my life and I owe any of my success to Him. So many things I couldn't have done without Him and He has given me strength for it all. He has truly helped me in every area of my life.

Maybe the reason growing up isn't as hard as I thought it would be is simply because the Lord has given me what I need to do it. Maybe I don't need to fear the future at all anymore, because He always comes through. 2012 will have nothing in it that I can't handle because I have the Lord to help me through anything.

Bye 2011...you were a good one.

*He Wouldn't Change a Thing*

Leave it to me to be the teacher to embarrass myself while using the school intercom.

Calling the office was something that I always dreamed of as a child and it's even better than I imagined. The feeling of power and importance when you hit that button is unexplainable. As an elementary student I wanted to push it so bad sometimes, but luckily my dream came true. It's still as wonderful as I had hoped for growing up even if I make myself look like an airhead sometimes.

Today we had a game where the principal would come on the loud speaker and say a Christmas trivia question and we would email in and the "7th" correct email would get a door prize. I knew most of them, but one of them really stumped me and my class.

"When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?" we heard from the chipper voice on the other side of the speaker. My kids and I thought long and hard about what it might be and finally came up with "Christmas in July". Well, the office ended up telling us who won and told us they found it in the dictionary.

So…of course I want to know the answer so I go find a dictionary immediately. After a few minutes of trying to figure out what the answer was, I got fed up and decided to call the office. "What exactly was the answer?" I said after I heard the speaker beep…."In a dictionary" she said back. "Right…that's what you said, but I can't find it." "No, IN the dictionary!" she said trying not to laugh. *Insert my airhead tendencies being displayed in the WRONG area of my life!* Yikes…..My twin sister thought my last post about Santa was real so I'm here to tell you that we come by it honestly. It is a burden we must bare.

On another note, I learned something about the character and personality of God while grading papers the other day. We are working hard on making sure to capitalize the first letters in our sentences and put periods at the end EVERYTIME we write. It is quite the battle, but I am full of hope. Because we've talked about it so much, I try to be pretty picky about the writing that is turned in by this time of year because I know it will pay off in the end. I don't look for perfect spelling other than spelling words, but what is important to know in first grade which is correct capitalization, punctuation, letter formation, and spacing as well as the actual content. (First grade spelling is the cutest spelling in the world by the way.) :)

Anyway, I found myself at my desk going through the things the kids did a few days ago and came across something that I could not be picky about and it was a cool reason why. I had the students write a Christmas card to Jesus to thank Him for coming as a baby and to just share their hearts on paper. I had the stack ready to go through and I saw the first sentence on the first paper did not start with a capitalization. The first thing I wanted to do was ask the student to change it the next day, but the very clear voice of God stopped me: "Don't touch those…those are Mine. They are perfect."

I got so overwhelmed with emotion that tears came to my eyes. Jesus didn't care one bit if those babies were using capital letters or not. He didn't care about the punctuation and if the "F" was written backwards. He wasn't looking for perfection, He treasured the fact that they poured their hearts out to Him. The neatest thing to me was how he called them "His" letters. He hears us and cares so much about what we say to Him. He loves every child in my class more than I can fathom. He wants to hear what they have to say and and He wants to hear what we have to say, too. Even if we are writing in a lonely lamplit room feeling like God doesn't hear what we are crying out…He does. He is right there reading it and treasuring what it says. He calls every word we write "His"….how neat. But neat doesn't describe it well enough and I'm not sure any word would.

We are so very loved and none of us have the slightest idea how deep that love goes or how near He truly is. Jesus wants us just as we are, backwards letters and all….and He wouldn't change a thing.

*The Day I Sat by Santa*

In my mind there are two types of people in the world. One type of person wants to go along and believe that I am friends with Santa, and the other lifts their nose in disgust and unbelief. The second type doesn't even try to dab into their youthful fun side which is very sad. I'm not sure if you knew this, but it says a ton about a person whether they want to believe me or not. I am in fact a very close friend of Santa Claus and I know many of you are wondering how that came to be. Even the skeptics have asked me how I became bff with Santa believing they could stump me, but I never gave them the satisfaction of a reply. It's about time, though…time to share the story with the world so it won't just look like I made a facebook persona named SantaClaus years ago for kicks and giggles.

It was a cold, winter day at the Denver airport in the days before pat downs were around. There were no video images scanned nor did a man with a creep stash check my back pockets for tweezers. It was a good time for flying and a magical day to be sure. It was nothing like my recent flying experiences/horrors and I didn't know to be grateful for it then.

I was flying home from Colorado on Christmas as my family usually does and I remember seeing Santa on the slopes that morning. After he gives all the boys and girls their presents, he usually relaxes with a few ski runs. I've seen him every year at Snowmass riding the lift on Christmas day, so I knew he was around. I didn't ever suspect he would be in an airport, though, because I assumed he took his slay everywhere. But I think he actually just does that for tradition and prefers the heated comforts of an airplane. He may even be looking into a private jet and only getting in the slay for photos and such. It's really cold and miserable apparently.

Anyway, as I was walking to my terminal I kept hearing the faint sound of "Ho Ho Ho" coming from behind me over and over. I figured it was a weirdo having fun on Christmas day and didn't think much about it. Not soon after, it was time to board the plane and I found a window seat as fast as I could. I knew the plane wasn't completely full so I was hoping that nobody would sit beside me in the empty chair. One lesson my dad taught me that I hold dear is to look absolutely repulsive on an airplane. He told me to do everything in my power to look unappealing to the other passengers so they will forgo the empty seat beside me. I remember years ago he told me one day on a plane: "Abby, you are looking too cute and seat partner worthy, you must start to fake a horrible cough onto the next seat or scream how your tacos aren't sitting right! Otherwise you will have someone sitting by you in no time!"….. "Okay, dad!" I said, " I'll try!" Unfortunately, a boy about my age ended up sitting between us, so I needed to learn to up my game. There's nothing worse than having a stranger that smells like sausage egg biscuits mixed with bad breath sitting next to you in close quarters. It's happened to me and it is scarring for sure. Anyway…back to the story.

So there I was on that Christmas day trying to implement the best advice my dad had ever given me years before. I started hacking and coughing into the seat next to me and taking up waaaay more than my share of space. When I saw someone eyeing the seat next to me I made sure to give them the crazy eyes and twitch a little bit….I also tried hard to look like I was foaming at the mouth. I would have made dad proud for sure.

Just when I was in the middle of the best fake hacking cough performance of my life, a large, old man sat down next to me. "Need a cough drop?" he said as I looked out the window with a defeated frown. My nose caught a whiff of hot cocoa mixed with candy canes and sugar cookies as he spoke. "No thanks" I said while trying to pretend I was about to fall asleep. Conversation with strangers always makes me nervous and queazy so I'd rather fake sleep.

I felt the plane start to move on the runway and the fasten seat belt ding came through the loud speaker. I sat up to buckle my seatbelt and noticed the shoes this old man was wearing were quite strange. They were dark red boots with golden shoelaces. They had what looked like snow stuck to the bottom, but the weird part was that it wasn't melting. The snow had made a comfortable home on the shoe and didn't look like it was going anywhere. I glanced over curiously at the man right as he was turning around and our eyes met….there was a twinkle and I really think I heard a jingle bell faintly in the distance whenever he blinked his eyes. "Funny we are spending our Christmas on an airplane don't you think?" he said as another wave of candy canes and cocoa filled my nose.

"I usually spend my Christmas on an airplane." I said back to him, a little bit creeped out at the twinkle and the jingle bell sounds. "I guess it's meant to be that we are sitting by each other today." he said as I tried to come up with any plan to make this strange man stop talking to me. It always bothers me when strangers want to chat.

Just as I was turning back towards the window to pursue another round of fake sleeping he tapped me on the shoulder. "I really need some help and I know you're the perfect person to ask, Abby." I dropped my mouth open in utter shock. "Wait…time out….I NEVER told you my name was Abby!?!?!"….. I tried to scoot away from him but realized I was pretty much stuck.

He smiled at me and somehow began to look familiar. "Do I know you?" I said with a bit of confusion in my tone. He looked at me with a kind stare and said, "You've known me your entire life in your dreams…in your stories. You feed my reindeer sometimes and you used to leave me cookies at Christmas." Then all at once it hit me….I was sitting by Santa Claus himself.

He then proceeded to tell me that he needed my help and there was a reason he got on the plane that day. Turns out he needed someone to help him write a letter to make Comet come back. Comet had run away and Santa said he had no idea how to put his feelings on paper. He had teared up at the letters I sent him growing up and said they had really moved him. He said he wanted to write a letter that would move Comet like that, too.

We then proceeded to get out a piece of paper and write to Comet by using cliches that always make people cry. We ended up getting really close on that plane trip and he asked me if we could skype when he got back to the north pole. I said that would be great because I really wanted to know what happened with Comet.

A week later, we skyped and Comet WAS back at the north pole. Cliches are always the way to win someone back. Sometimes all it takes is a heartfelt letter full of other people's ideas to make things better. They had a misunderstanding and both were in the wrong which is usually a case in any fight. Both parties are usually right and wrong…which is why fights are so strange and useless.

Anyway, the rest is history basically. We kept in touch and became closer friends over the years which has been really good. I wouldn't change that day for the world and I'm really happy it happened. It makes me think twice before trying to keep the seat beside me empty, ya know? You never know what may happen on what seems like an ordinary day in an ordinary airplane.

*My Someone, Your Someone*

This week, the last thing I do before I go to bed and the first thing I do when I wake up is kiss a baby cheek. It's one of the best feelings I've experienced in my entire life and it makes this Thanksgiving extra special! This is our very first Thanksgiving with a baby in the house and it's so much fun!! It's especially nice to have all the fun, but no responsibility. I'm soaking up this aunt thing for sure....I would be lying if some of the gory details of pregnancy didn't make me very able to wait on the Lord's timing!! That's one way to receive patience, let me tell ya. Most people go into having a baby with blinded bliss, but I am well aware. Twins know everything...nothing spared. I am praying for my future self a lot lately, haha. Fact.

I've been staying at my parents house since last Friday so I wouldn't miss out on anything with Sam which has been wonderful. My old room has definitely reminded me of a lot I have to be thankful for. The Jr. High photos of friends are filled with the same people that my pictures are now. Luckily, now we look a little different are are not as emotional so we don't fight over whose shampoo is the best. I am so thankful that I've kept my best friends over a long period of time. It's made me so thankful for true friendship that lasts for years. Friends that come into my life not just for a good time, but to live life with me. Friends that are with me through the ups and the downs, and I can trust not to stab me in the back. Friends that are always on my team no matter what. I have been so blessed to see the same faces pop into my room year after year. I don't need a lot of friends, but I do need a few deep ones and I am so thankful I have that.

The room also makes me think about how thankful I am to be born in the family that I am. Why me? Why did I get such great parents that never let me lack for anything? I have always been well taken care of and well loved. I have no idea why I was chosen to be in such a wonderful place in life, but I am so thankful. I can't thank the Lord enough for giving me to these people. They are such wonderful parents and have raised me well.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the people in my life in general. I read a book about how making a difference doesn't mean changing the whole world, but changing things for someone. It's too hard for one person to give clean water to everyone or feed every hungry mouth. I was struggling for a while because I felt like my life didn't look like it was making a huge different. I'm not in a distant land changing tribes or anything. I want to live a life that matters, and I wasn't sure living in the luxuries of this town was doing that. But the Lord has shown me that a lot of times being a difference maker just means changing a life for somebody, being there for those the Lord has put around me. I think that can be in ministry as in sponsoring a child, but also just in the people I look around and see in my life. I could have been placed anywhere, but the Lord chosen to put me here. He has chosen to put you in my life if you're reading this. I think He has a lot of purpose in that.

No matter if it's for a long period of time like my family or a short period of time like my students...it's all significant. We are all put together for a purpose. I try to soak up every minute with my kids at school because I know there's a very short window that I have to pour into their lives. The neat thing I've realized is that they pour into my life as well. They teach me and help me to see things about God and life that I've never noticed before. Of all the billions of people in the world, me and my kids were put together this year and I know that's something very important. It was not by mistake. There is so much purpose God has in that for each of us. There are people in my life I see everyday that were put there very purposefully. There is somebody for me everyday. There is someone I'm meant to notice and do something about. And on the other hand, I am the person maybe the Lord has put in your life. I know I have people who help me in ways words can't express on a daily basis. I am so thankful for that. You are changing my life and making a difference.

So, who is my somebody? Who is my someone? Those are questions I need to continually ask myself because I think it changes from year to year and month to month. It could possibly be day to day as well. Maybe carry around a $20 bill to be able to give to someone in need at the drop of a hat. Who knows what the someone for that day may look like? The somebody for our day may just drop in and out of our life for an instance, but it may make a huge difference. You never know!

The neat thing is, usually my someone is the same somebody who helps me. I think the thing I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving is the fact that I am right where the Lord wants me. I am surrounded by the people that I'm supposed to be and I can always guarantee that God will bring another "somebody" into my life. Every season brings new opportunities to become something important in another person's story. Who is your somebody right now? Who are you going out of your way for? Who has God graciously allowed you to bless right now?

I love that my main "someone" these days are my students at school. What a nice somebody to have because they are so much fun and adoring them comes so easily to me. I get to do something I love while hopefully making some kind of difference and being changed through them as well. Maybe that's where your somebody is...what do you love to do? Who is standing next to you when you do it? Maybe it's them.

We can't change the world, but maybe...just maybe with the help of the Lord we can change something for someone. Even if only for a day.

*My Management Rules to Live by*

I think the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning shows what's important to you. Lately, I've thought about my first graders. What are they doing? Are they having fun? I wonder how I can make *this* work better or *that* work better in the classroom? I'm making a collage out of pictures from our year so far, so that puts it on my mind, too.

This Thanksgiving I am especially thankful for the best first year placement I've ever heard of. I don't know how I was able to end up here, but I am so so sooo grateful. I got the best bunch of kids ever imaginable in the best possible surroundings. It's not always easy, but I think that's because I want to be perfect and I realize I can't be all the time. I think that's why people always look at their first years negatively...it's just a major learning process. I have so much support and my college prepared me so much, so I can do my job well, but it's just hard not knowing EVERYTHING there is to know. When you love the kids so much, you want to do absolutely everything perfect for them, but there's always more to learn. I think there always will be...maybe that's just life?

There is something I do have a major strength in already, though. Classroom Management comes fairly easy to me and getting behavior in the right direction without having to use too many consequences is something that comes naturally. I was talking about how I do some things the other day at the dinner table and someone asked me to write them down. Through experience I have come to realize that there are a couple of rules to live by that would help anyone who is raising a child or teaching in a classroom. When these rules are broken, even the sweetest of children may have behavioral issues. As the adult, its' our job to help the students make the right decisions by the way we act and react and the environment we give them. We need to set them up for success. We need to give them the opportunity to make the right choices. I truly believe that if a child fails in this area, it is more my fault than theirs in many cases.

Hold on-wait...what?! A child's behavior depends on the adult? It's our responsibility to help them make the right decisions? You mean, it's not the full responsibility of the child? Yes...that's exactly what I'm saying. In my years of experience with children through babysitting, working at a birthday party studio, and teaching summer school for four years, I noticed something VERY important. The SAME child would act very differently around certain adults. For instance, they may be with me and well behaved, but around someone else they would suddenly look like a completely different child. If I said "come here" they would come, but if the other adult would say "come here" the child would throw a fit. It was SHOCKING and really made me think. This is the same exact child we are dealing with here and I'd never seen them behave like that before. Unfortunately, this is not a one time case and it actually happened a lot through the years. Why is this? I think it has to do a whole lot with my theory and I may be onto something. It is beyond a doubt our responsibility to help a child when it comes to behavior.

So if it's our job to give the child an opportunity to do right, what can we do? I am not claiming to be an expert and you can listen to me or not because I am only 23, but I can share a few tips that have worked for me in most situations. I might be in a nice, pretty prep school now but I was in the public school for years at college and even dealt with behavioral disorders. These tips still helped in those more dire situations as well. Sure, it didn't work every time, but for the most part it was successful.

Here are the rules I live by that have helped me:

1.) Give the children a REASON to obey you. Fall in love with them and let them know it. Show them that whatever you do is for their best interest. Respect them as individuals and listen to what they have to say. They can tell if you are just an adult that thinks you know better. Show them that their ideas matter and you care about how they feel and what they do. Do things to let them know that their opinion truly matters. Classroom management is SO MUCH EASIER if a student knows they are loved and feels that mutual respect. Children NEED TO BE RESPECTED just as much as adults! These are real people we are dealing with, and we cannot forget that. They have every right that we do and a lot of times they can tell us things we don't know. They have so much to say that we need to hear, so listen!

2.) Say positive things to the child at least 2x more than you do negative! Don't be a debbie downer all day long....be so much more fun and positive than you are firm. Show the students that you love for them to be happy and you aren't there to just kill the joy. Show them that rules are there so they can have a better day. I've seen too many scrooge adults and it just makes kids want to rebel. I mean, it kinda makes me want to rebel! Why would I want to listen to someone like that?

3.) BE CONSISTENT!! If you say you are going to give a certain consequence for something, you must do that. Don't say you are going to do something and then don't do it. Never say anything out loud that you are not fully ready to do.

Also be consistent in the daily routines. For instance, I always have the same way to pass out papers because the students are used to it and know how that routine goes. We also line up the same way and have the same bathroom procedures, and the students know to stop by the red wall or stop by my door. Everything is always the same so that nobody is ever confused or wandering around.

Be consistent when it comes to what you expect from the children. For instance, say we are doing our daily routine of walking on the third square down the hallway...if someone decides that's a good time to do the bunny hop into their neighbor, I have to stop that immediately every time. I can't sometimes allow for a little hopping and then the next day come down hard. I know that sounds like common sense, but it's something so important that when forgotten makes life a lot harder. You have to have your expectations and stick to them EVERYTIME. Kids are smart, they know if you are the type of person to cave or inconsistently stop behavior. Don't be that person!!

4.) NEVER for any reason reward negative behavior such as a fit or rude attitude. Once, I did try to go the sweet route with a child years ago which made me pay for months. We have to nip that in the bud and not even allow it. What I like to do is give natural consequences such as missing out on something fun until they choose to make the right decision. Consistency comes into play here as well because you cannot, absolutely CANNOT inconsistently give in. You can't give in one day, and then get angry and come down hard the next. That will confuse a child and cause them to throw more fits because sometimes they do get what they want. As hard as it is for us, we have to stop it EVERYTIME!! It's so hard because you don't like to see a little person upset, but push through by thinking about how it's for their own good. The bible says if we love them, we will give them boundaries. To give boundaries you must have a backbone and give it energy. It seems like an easier choice to give them something to make them stop throwing a fit during an embarrassing episode in public, but in the long run it can be very harmful. Kids want to do right, they reallly do. It doesn't feel good to them to throw a fit. Don't give them reason to without realizing it.

I remember one day a few years ago a child started throwing a fit because they didn't want to come inside from playing. All I did was bend down and simply say: "Susie Lou, has Miss Abby EVER given into a fit?" She shook her head no and I said in a soft voice: "Well, baby...don't you think you're wasting your time?" She thought for a minute and grabbed my hand to walk inside. If I don't give in...EVER give in, it pays off.

5.) When I say "no" to something, I try to find a few fun or positive things to say "yes" to. If a person is always having a gruff face and saying no to everything, the child will just feel attacked. Show the children that you want them to be able to do things and would rather say yes by giving them options. Like if a child is spinning on their head during carpet time you have to tell them to stop, but I like to give them the option of showing me a dance at recess instead. There are appropriate times for these things, and I am not just saying no because I like ruining everyone's day. I'm saying no because you can't learn on your head.

6.)REMEMBER when you give a consequence. Don't tell a child they are going to have to miss something fun or sit out for a little bit and then forget. Again, children are VERY smart and they know if you have a leak in your system. I like to have a notebook to remind myself what I've said I'm going to do, because otherwise it would slip my mind.

7.) Practice having "THE FACE"....it's not a mean or disrespectful face, but it is a serious one that plainly states: "You better reconsider what you're doing over there, sir." (Sometimes "THE FACE" is all you need. One little glance and your problems are solved.)

8.) Be firm if you must. Being super sweet all the time gives a child the idea that you are a push over, and they WILL push. We all are born with a sin nature, so if they can get away with some silliness, they are going to do it. It's HARD being firm sometimes, it really is...but it's for the best. Being firm does NOT mean being rude or cruel. It means making sure in your tone that they know you are very serious. There is no room for disrespect when being firm. Being disrespectful to a child is a major sin that the Lord takes very seriously.

9.) After consequences are given, hug the child and let them know how much you love them. If they are not as much of a 'mooshy love' child, tell them a joke and make them laugh. Ask them about their sports team or what they plan to do at recess. You need to get to know the child before truly knowing how to handle this part. Some students need a tight squeeze and a lap sitting and others just need you to give them a high five. Some need you to let them know that they can stop feeling guilty because the Lord has already forgiven them. Some need you to make a silly face from across the room. Some need you to tell them that you will never stop loving them no matter what. It just depends on who it is....so be mindful of that and really try to figure it out. This is one of the most important parts of management, but it takes time to find out what works best for each child. Establishing that love and respect after something negative has happened is crucial. Make the bond with that child better because of it.

9.) Expect children to be kind to one another. If a student is allowed to be mean to other people they tend to be out of control in lots of areas. It feels good to be nice to people, and promoting an environment that encourages students to be kind to others helps behavior so much. Make children be nice and friendly. Make them look others in the eye and ask how they are doing. They do not know how to do this naturally, so it is our job to teach them! My mom made me be friendly even when I didn't want to, and it really helped my life. Being kind and friendly to others helps us love ourselves, which in turn helps us have better behavior in general.

10.) Have conversations about behavior! When things are about to get exciting or fun, be sure to have a conversation about it beforehand. Often times, young children become very impulsive when a room starts to get exciting and they automatically want to jump off the walls at the the slightest turn towards fun. They don't necessarily want to misbehave, they just get a little bit excited. Okay, a lot bit excited, haha. It is VERY important that you talk about self control and warn the children that fun is coming. It really helps them manage themselves better because they have time to think about it.

Have conversations about behavior throughout the day before you do something. For instance, before we take any test we have a conversation about how we behave during the test. We also do this for other situations in the day as well. If we have not done that certain thing before, we go through scenarios and how we could behave in those situations. It gets the students thinking, instead of just going on autopilot which is what most children revert to. Auto pilot is not good...no matter if you are an adult or a child! AVOID auto pilot at all costs!

11.) PRAY!!! Call upon the help of the Holy Spirit in the management process. Luckily, I'm at a Christian school so we can pray that the Holy Spirit will help us make the right decisions that day and He really does. Even if you can't pray that, pray, pray, PRAY in your head!!! God is a VERY big help and can do miracles in this area daily. He is the source of any of the success in my classroom and I would be lost without him! I can't tell you how many times I prayed in college that the students in my class would be on their best behavior when my professor came and it was a miracle every time! He can give us all wisdom and loves to give it to the children, too. Pray that the Lord will help you know what to do and also for the children to know. Hear me when I say this...GOD GIVES WISDOM TO CHILDREN...He helps them just as much as He would help an adult! He takes them very seriously and respects them so much. He is not waiting for them to grow up to do a work in them. He is ready to do it NOW. The Kingdom of God belongs to such as these, so why are we not acting like it?

12.) This rule is so important that it needs to be on here twice. LOVE the children with all your heart. Truly have their best interest in mind when you go about disciplining them. Don't just do something to make it easier on you or to stop an annoyance you don't want. Having the right heart in the matter makes all the difference. Do not treat a child in a way that you would not want to be treated!!! They are so so sooo special to God and it is a great privilege that we are even allowed to share space with them. We do not own them, we are honored to be allowed to help facilitate their growth with the help of the Lord. Praise Jesus for that blessing! :)

*Anyway, this may not be news to anybody, but I was told by someone who had not heard of some of these to write them down. It's kind of neat that I get to practice being a mom everyday along with being a teacher. I love it and it's great to see how much God cares about these things. I need to take responsibility everyday for how my children act and pray the Lord gives me wisdom in these areas. It is our fault if the classroom runs a muck, and we need to realize that. We need to stop beating our heads against the wall trying to change children, and change ourselves. And most of all, we need to PRAY. Never forget to call upon the Lord EVERY morning! Raising the future of America is no small feat, and we need all the help we can get. :)

*My Biggest Epic Fail Yet*

It was the first time I ever felt like a felon. People screaming bloody murder and trying their best to get as far away from me as possible. Bodies contorted in such awkward positions in hopes that panicking would save them. It felt….scary. It would be scary to be a felon.

I hadn't slept well in a couple of weeks and I think it got to the point last Friday where I completely hit a wall. It's weird how the body can continue to exert itself without much sleep, but then it reaches that place…the place of utter exhaustion and peculiar behavior. It is never good to be in public when you are at that place and unfortunately I was at Market Place Grill.

My family left for our weekend vacation right after school. That Thursday night before I fell asleep so hard and suddenly early in the night which was the first sign that I'd hit the wall. Going into Friday was absolutely miserable! It's the kind of tired that you feel super sick and every step feels like you're dragging around pounds of concrete. It was NOT pretty. So going strait on a car trip after school was probably not the best idea.

Anyway, we got to where we were headed around 8pm and decided to go eat with my sister and her family at Market Place. The walls were looking kind of fuzzy and I was eating advil like candy. I didn't even feel like eating if you would believe it….that's how tired I was. I remember looking at the wooden waiting bench thinking: "Man, I want to lay down on that…just close my eyes for a minute."I would have probably paid someone 3,000 dollars for a bed that night.

I tell you all this because I need you to know that my biggest epic fail was not when I was well rested and fed. It was at a time of utter exhaustion and ruination (in old english terms). Molly asked me afterwards why on earth I made some the decisions that I did and that's just it…I have no idea. So please excuse my overly exhaustive set-up. Now here's the story:

After we were done at Market Place, I drug myself out the door with my brother and dad behind me. An old man opened the door for me and I remember saying "thank you" very faintly, but all I cared about was finding my car to lay down in the backseat ASAP. So I started to roam the parking lot in search of my car and was confused because I knew my brother and dad had come out. Next thing I know, I saw a car start across the parking lot and I realized I was in the wrong place. I started to run as fast as I could towards the car in hopes of getting their quickly. I remember wondering how my legs were moving that fast, but I knew if I ran I would be able to lay down sooner.

I was running a little faster than I knew and ended up running INTO the car and then kinda resting myself on it. Then I grabbed the door and swung it open and proceeded to jump in. Screams of utter horror and panic filled my ears and darkness clouded my eyes. The car's light did not come on, so all I could see were dark, shadowy bodies trying to get away from me as fast as they could. Nobody talked to me, they just screamed in my face and I screamed bloody murder right back. We were all just screaming in the dark.

Since I was so tired, my first thought was: "Why is my family screaming at me?"…then I realized that I was not with my family. I had just jumped into a stranger's car. There was only one person that I do remember seeing and it was the old man who had opened the door for me earlier. The moon shown on his face and he was the only one not screaming. He just kinda slowly turned his head and stared at me. After the rest of the car stopped freaking out he said very dryly: "Well, come on in."

I started laughing nervously and slowly backed away from the car. "I'm sorry…I'm REALLY tired, like REALLLLLLLY tired." I then proceeded to take the walk of shame. I still didn't know where my car was, so those people watched me wander the parking lot as they left. I finally saw my family come back and I ran to tell them what happened. I was fully awake again, because people screaming in your face will do that to you. After telling my dad the story he was like: "Well, I was wondering why you were leaving with a pack of strangers." Apparently they never were behind me after all.