Monday, November 7, 2011

*My Biggest Epic Fail Yet*

It was the first time I ever felt like a felon. People screaming bloody murder and trying their best to get as far away from me as possible. Bodies contorted in such awkward positions in hopes that panicking would save them. It felt….scary. It would be scary to be a felon.

I hadn't slept well in a couple of weeks and I think it got to the point last Friday where I completely hit a wall. It's weird how the body can continue to exert itself without much sleep, but then it reaches that place…the place of utter exhaustion and peculiar behavior. It is never good to be in public when you are at that place and unfortunately I was at Market Place Grill.

My family left for our weekend vacation right after school. That Thursday night before I fell asleep so hard and suddenly early in the night which was the first sign that I'd hit the wall. Going into Friday was absolutely miserable! It's the kind of tired that you feel super sick and every step feels like you're dragging around pounds of concrete. It was NOT pretty. So going strait on a car trip after school was probably not the best idea.

Anyway, we got to where we were headed around 8pm and decided to go eat with my sister and her family at Market Place. The walls were looking kind of fuzzy and I was eating advil like candy. I didn't even feel like eating if you would believe it….that's how tired I was. I remember looking at the wooden waiting bench thinking: "Man, I want to lay down on that…just close my eyes for a minute."I would have probably paid someone 3,000 dollars for a bed that night.

I tell you all this because I need you to know that my biggest epic fail was not when I was well rested and fed. It was at a time of utter exhaustion and ruination (in old english terms). Molly asked me afterwards why on earth I made some the decisions that I did and that's just it…I have no idea. So please excuse my overly exhaustive set-up. Now here's the story:

After we were done at Market Place, I drug myself out the door with my brother and dad behind me. An old man opened the door for me and I remember saying "thank you" very faintly, but all I cared about was finding my car to lay down in the backseat ASAP. So I started to roam the parking lot in search of my car and was confused because I knew my brother and dad had come out. Next thing I know, I saw a car start across the parking lot and I realized I was in the wrong place. I started to run as fast as I could towards the car in hopes of getting their quickly. I remember wondering how my legs were moving that fast, but I knew if I ran I would be able to lay down sooner.

I was running a little faster than I knew and ended up running INTO the car and then kinda resting myself on it. Then I grabbed the door and swung it open and proceeded to jump in. Screams of utter horror and panic filled my ears and darkness clouded my eyes. The car's light did not come on, so all I could see were dark, shadowy bodies trying to get away from me as fast as they could. Nobody talked to me, they just screamed in my face and I screamed bloody murder right back. We were all just screaming in the dark.

Since I was so tired, my first thought was: "Why is my family screaming at me?"…then I realized that I was not with my family. I had just jumped into a stranger's car. There was only one person that I do remember seeing and it was the old man who had opened the door for me earlier. The moon shown on his face and he was the only one not screaming. He just kinda slowly turned his head and stared at me. After the rest of the car stopped freaking out he said very dryly: "Well, come on in."

I started laughing nervously and slowly backed away from the car. "I'm sorry…I'm REALLY tired, like REALLLLLLLY tired." I then proceeded to take the walk of shame. I still didn't know where my car was, so those people watched me wander the parking lot as they left. I finally saw my family come back and I ran to tell them what happened. I was fully awake again, because people screaming in your face will do that to you. After telling my dad the story he was like: "Well, I was wondering why you were leaving with a pack of strangers." Apparently they never were behind me after all.



1 comment:

  1. even though I have heard the story from you already, I think i laughed the WHOLE WAY THROUGH THIS POST. To the point where Scout (the pup) was woken up from his nap and was looking at me funny.

    You are hilarious and I am SO glad we're friends. Love you and call me ASAP!
    -Kate

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