*Reflections of a Public Outburst*

Two weeks from today I will finally be the proud owner of a diploma if I can just make myself work a little longer. Motivation has been scarce in the past few weeks, but I'm making it just the same. A week and a half longer of pushing myself and I'll finally…and I do mean FINALLLY make it across that graduation stage!

Graduation stage…. the place where I cross over into my future and hopefully don't fall flat on my face in front of everyone. It does scare me a little bit because I usually make an embarrassing display of myself when it comes to any formal ceremony. My best foot is not forward and I even think it stays home.

Speaking of embarrassing displays, I don't think I have written about my outrageous Ludacris rapping that I did in front of the crowd at Kate's wedding. It was one of those things that you look back upon and grimace, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Luckily, it has made for some good jokes so I will say it was worth it even if I did make a spectacle of myself. I am pretty good at doing that.

For those of you who weren't there, I was the Maid of Honor at Kate's wedding and with that came great responsibility. As the Maid of Honor I believe that it is my duty to make sure the reception is the time of everyones life. Because of that duty, I lit up the dance floor, basically put my face into the chocolate fountain, and made grandmas come out and get down. It was WONDERFUL……until "Baby" by Justin Bieber started playing.

Everyone had fun dancing to the chorus part and it seemed like it would be a dance party the whole time. Unfortunately the verse part where Ludacris starts rapping is a little less catchy and people aren't quite sure how to dance. We were all going crazy to the chorus, but Ludacris came on everyone kinda looked around and wondered what to do with the awkward part of the song. I realized pretty quickly that I had to do something and fast.

Next thing I know I start dancing like crazy singing the rap part as loud as I could: "When I was thirteen, I had my first love…" and proceeded to do whatever I could to make everyone look at how much fun I was having. My plan definitely worked because EVERYONE got in a circle around me and the camera guy was like the eye on Lord of the Rings when Frodo puts the ring on! BAM! There he was all up in my business in an instant!

The photo guy came and was snapping, people were laughing, people were shocked, people started having fun again. I love being in the spot light so all that attention didn't help anything. I seriously threw all inhibitions to the wind and tried to use moves P Diddy did on American Idol and from the reaction it went over well. Kate even said she hadn't seen anything like that from me before and that's saying a lot. I sing and dance most days of the week, but I've never brought out my rap/hip hop persona. Until now, that's been an alone in my room type of thing, but believe me I've been workin on it! That was just the reveal I never thought would happen.

That night there was a get together at our house afterwards and people were saying the most hilarious things about my little outburst. When the music was off and the strobe light wasn't strobin, it was much more embarrassing. Things in the moment usually feel so much better than actually looking back on them. There's something about a smoke machine and a disco ball that brings out my Ludacris rapping side…I don't know what comes over me.

*MY CUP OVERFLOWS!!!*

I found myself tonight with happy tears in my eyes staring into the eyes of a stranger. This stranger was used to bring a miracle into my life and to teach me just how much Jesus is taking care of me! I want to share it with anyone who will listen because my God IS so faithful!!!!!! When He says He loves to give good gifts to His children, He means it!!!!! When it aligns with His will, get ready for the cup to be overflowing!!! God is so good to me that He lovingly says no to my prayers A LOT, but He does say yes to me when it's right and aligns with His will!!!! I am so thankful and in awe tonight….

My cooperating teacher from my first student teacher rotation wrote a prayer for me and one of the lines in it asked God to give me an abundance of teaching supplies and materials to do my job well and I've been praying that, too. He has definitely answered that prayer already in ways that I could've never imagined!!! People have helped me out so much already and I did not expect anything else because I was already greatly blessed. The Lord has given me so much by providing my job and some supplies for me so I felt like I had gotten enough and expected no more. Well, God was ready to outdo what I thought possible this time and He really blew my mind! He was ready to show me what asking for things in His will REALLY meant! And let me tell you…it's a beautiful thing.

I went to a Rhea Lana sale the other day to buy a few books for cheap and get some presents for Samuel. At the check out there was this REALLY sweet girl who just happened to have a mom who has taught first grade for 34 years and was looking for someone to sell her teaching supplies to. She told me to call her mom and I did the very next day expecting to buy some of the things from her and excited to find a resource.

Well, when I called her she was SUPER nice and told me to bring my biggest car and lots of boxes Sunday at 6pm. I asked how much money I should bring and she said not to bring a cent! She wanted to help me out for free even though she had no idea who I was!!! I went there tonight and my mom's car was literally BURSTING at the seams with everything I could possibly want and MORE! YES, MORE!!!! Not only that, but this woman had the BEST ideas that she was sharing with me and she even got teacher of the year! I know why!!!! I met a VERY special woman tonight and I will never forget her.

I mean…I can't even write in words how much of a miracle it is. My heart is literally overflowing because my Father has showered me with gifts and provision. He is equipping me for what He has called me to do and I couldn't be more thankful! I will remember this moment when it's hard to keep the faith because this fallen world will bring those valleys. I know He is worthy of my trust no matter what life brings and I will hold this provision close to my heart. :)