"Your faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but the power of God." 1 Corinthians 2:5
GOD HEALED ME. In a way that has left three doctors and one very intelligent surgeon dumbfounded.
When I was in high school and college I had three different surgeries for a cyst that left me with exposed bone, lots of pain, and unable to move much for three months. It sent my life into a tailspin every time and my C sections were literally a walk in the park compared to what I went through. So when I felt the cyst coming back for a fourth time over Thanksgiving, I began to go into a panic. Who is going to take care of my kids? Will they be okay? (My first thought now that I'm a mom, ha!) How are we going to do this? How can I go through the pain of the three month recovery again?! Unfortunately my LAST thought was to pray for God to heal me.
I'm pretty comfortable with praying big prayers for other people. I know the power of God and I've seen it work time and time again in MIGHTY ways. It's not as easy to pray for myself because I know myself and in my human nature I become upset if the answer is NO. There's a lot of health issues He's chosen not to heal for a good reason so I've just started to choose to be okay with not being healed. And in this world we WILL have trials. I know that being here in this fallen world just comes with pain sometimes. I also know that He tells us in the Bible to take heart because He has overcome the world. He has overcome death, pain, and suffering. He came as a baby to die on a cross and save us from it all. I TRUST Him, I do. How could I not?! I trust His answers with all my heart, but I just don't want to put myself out there and be disappointed because I know I shouldn't be but that's where my heart goes.
So after the cyst came back, I went a few painful weeks on antibiotics that were not working. I tried to get into a surgeon but they couldn't get me in for a two weeks so I lived my life in extreme pain. I could barely function, walk, or sit and I had fevers everyday that made taking care of my kids extremely difficult. I was seriously in a desperate state of panic and felt like I had so much ministry God wanted me to do but Satan just kept kicking my legs out from under me to do it. I'd been down this road, I knew what this meant, and all it would cost and keep me from. I wasn't ready for the pain and helplessness and more importantly, what about my boys?
I was going to doctors regularly so they could keep an eye on it because it can get really bad really quickly and had three doctors confirm that it WAS a cyst and it's a genetic kind that doesn't go away with antibiotics. So according to the wisdom of man I was not getting out of this without surgery, but God's power can override our human wisdom and that's what I was about to be reminded of.
One night when I was feeling pretty bad there was a Christmas party/prayer night with some of my longtime friends in OKC. (I'm so glad I can say by now that I have longtime friends here!) Well, I told them I wasn't feeling up to going but something in my spirit told me I needed to go. So just like in the bible when the people took their friend on the mat through the roof to Jesus, my friends picked me up with a pillow and drove me to put me in front of Jesus in prayer! haha, knowing us it's actually really funny but really true. I feel like I have many laughable spiritual moments with my friends (I'm looking at you Ally when we dabbled in that anointing oil together) but God shows up big time even through the giggles. It doesn't matter what it looks like, how we pray, if we are laughing, if our heart is in the right place, God shows UP.
The night of that party, one of my very best friends Courtney prayed over me that the cyst would just go away! My favorite part is that she said "Please take it away because you are legit, God." ha! That is the prayer that healed me and I'll never forget it!!! I woke up the next morning with INSTANT relief. I mean no fever, no trouble sitting or walking, NOTHING. I went to the doctor to be checked on that day and she said "Remind me where this is?" I couldn't believe it, she couldn't see anything!
So fast forward to a week later and I'm at the surgeon who tells me there is NO WAY there was a cyst there. "Those kinds of cysts don't go away without surgery" he said confused, "There's no way that's what you had." Three different doctors at three different places confirmed that it HAD been there. And believe me I'd had it before, I KNEW. There was no other way to explain it but a miracle.
God had chosen to say YES even though during the prayer I was thinking: "Yeah, not happening, pray I find the right surgeon." When I am faithless, He remains faithful. I had been putting my faith in human wisdom, but God was showing me that my faith should be in His power that is so much greater.
I'm so thankful that I have friends who get me a pillow and take me before the Cross and point me back to God when my faith is weak. That's the most incredible gift of friendship I could ever ask for and I really hope I can be that for my friends, too. I'm even more thankful that I know the most amazing God and that He shows up time and time again. It's not always the way I want it to be, but this time for His purpose He chose to blow anything I ever thought possible out of the water! And for that I am left awestruck and am reminded of how truly powerful our God is.
Praise His Holy Name!!! Yahweh, Elohim (Creator), Messiah, Redeemer, El Sali (God my strength),Deliverer, Living God, El Rachum (God of compassion) Lord of Lords, King of Glory, Prince of Peace, Lion of Judah, God Almighty, JESUS, Jehovah-Shammah (The Lord is there), Savior, Adonai (Master), El Roi (The God who sees me), Jehovah-Rophe(The Lord who heals)YOU have healed me!!!!!
