*The Major Ordeal*

All my life I've continued to find myself in creepy situations and today was no different.

I was driving down the road to Starbucks this morning when suddenly I realized that my foot was in A LOT of pain! It kind of was like a gradual thing…a little discomfort at first, and then suddenly it was just burning to the point that I could barely drive!!! So of course I did what Abby does best and started completely freaking out.

Luckily, it wasn't my driving foot, so I was able to bend down to see what the problem was. I felt something in between my skin and shoe kinda stuck and suddenly I realized IT WAS MOVING!!! MOVING?!?! Why would something be moving and burning in my shoe?!?!?!

I couldn't figure out exactly what was going on down there, but I knew that it was probably going to be a major ordeal. I lifted whatever it was up to my face so I could see it and was SHOCKED AND APPALLED to see an enormous black beetle in my face!!!! I threw it to the other side of the car and started screaming as I quickly pulled into the nearest parking lot.

I sat there stunned for a minute and when I gained my composure I went about wacking at the beetle who kept getting away from me. He was super fast and super mad!! He went through a lot of trauma being stuck in my shoe as well and I'm pretty sure he didn't want to be there, either. Eventually, I put him out of both of our miseries……although, I am still suffering a little bit and he is not.

There was a huge black beetle stuck in my shoe which can scar a girl, you know? I have been perplexed ever since as to how he got there in the first place and it's left me with an uneasy feeling… I mean, is there a massive beetle home in my closet?! Do beetles sleep in my shoes?! Is one going to get in my bed?!?!?! How can I be certain that my feet will be safe tomorrow? It's all just really disturbing.

*Senior Prom and Bible Stories*

"When your stomach is empty and your head is full…it makes it hard to sleep."-Wilbur from Charlottes web

My head is full of the most random things and it's funny to me to see where my head goes in certain situations. Today my brain has been completely on memory mode! I spent an hour today recalling my senior prom and I have no idea why. I had broken up with my boyfriend of four years just three weeks before the prom and was in desperate need of a date. I asked my cousin Macy to go with me and she ended up being the best date I ever had. It sounds lame that I had to basically convince my ninth grade cousin to attend my senior prom with me….but I wouldn't trade it for the world. The story gets more hilarious to think about the older we get.

Another thing my head has been full of is Jacob and Esau. Probably because I saw the story in a new light now that I'm teaching it and I'm surrounded by bible stories everyday. It's like I'm catching things that I didn't before, and I have SO many thoughts after I teach bible. Like….I really think when Jacob worked for Labban all those years for Rachel and got Leah, it was kinda like what goes around comes around, pal! Poor Esau was stabbed in the back like CRAZY!!! And Esau was nice and ended up forgiving Jacob even though he did NOT deserve it.

And how weird is it that Rebekah loved Jacob the most and Issac favored Esau?Don't you think that probably caused some major marital issues?! I mean…every single day I am just wanting to chat about these bible stories….. cause man, there was a lot of twists and turns that I never realized before. When I'm studying them like this, I just want to give Jacob a little talkin to for putting on the goat fur and taking Esau's blessing, ya know?! But then again…what on earth was Issac thinking when he decided to have a favorite son?! RUDE,MUCH?!?!

The thing I'm realizing about almost every single bible story I teach is that they have a part where God blesses them and is on their side, and then there is some major flaw or sin that they commit that they have to pay the consequences for. Anyone who thinks that God's love depends on us being perfect clearly has not memorized the Old Testament!!! The bible is packed with sinful, broken, and imperfect people on God's side! Maybe that's what is such an "Ah ha" moment for me. Did you hear the emotion in my words earlier? I think it's because for the first time I am realizing all the disfunction and sin in the people who we usually just talk about as God's friends and all the "shining moments" in their lives.

Like Abraham trying to rush God's plan by having Ishmael with a woman who was not his wife. (We skipped that part of the story in 1st grade, but I knew it already) Abraham got his promise of a son and was known as a close friend of God, but Islam stemmed out of Ishmael which was a major major major consequence for trying to take his life into his own hands. Even though God promised him a son, Abraham could not see how that would happen and decided to make things happen on his own. Talk about yikes!!! Makes me want to think a little harder about my decisions! Makes me want to be patient and wait on God's timing in my life, ya know?

And what about Joseph's brothers? How hard would it be to have your dad love one child more than you and then have the favored child say that God is going to make them bow down to him. I mean…I'd be tempted to throw him in a well myself! Our sin nature would naturally make us want to do that and doing the right thing is what is hard a lot of the time. How hard would it be to be like: "Joseph, can't wait to bow down to you! I'm so happy for you that dad likes you best and got you this coat I always wanted." Ya….most of us couldn't do that.

I should probably go to bed, but if you're like me and never quite got the generations before no matter how much you've been in church…Let me give you a little picture:

Abraham and Sarah had Issac

Abraham and Sarah found Issac a lovely wife named Rebekah at a water well and those two love birds had twin boys named Esau and Jacob

Even though Jacob wronged Esau, we know more about Jacob. Jacob was the one who married Leah AND Rachel and he had 12 sons. One of the sons was Joseph and he's the technicolored coat one.

I knew all the stories separately before, but had never quite put the generations together, so there ya go. Maybe that will give a better idea to somebody…who knows.

*My Week's Debacle*

Well, here I am reporting to you from the other side of my tragic affair. Unfortunately, I have suffered from a freak accident knee injury AND the stomach bug since Tuesday. Worse yet, I feel like I brought a lot of it upon myself for two reasons: 1.) I shouldn't of power walked down the hallway 2.) I should've just shaved my legs.

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon around 2:15 and I was waiting in the hallway like I always do for my kids to come back from enrichment. I walked down the hall a little bit to see if they were anywhere in sight, only to realize that they were coming in the back door. (A door they NEVER come in). So next thing I know, my kids are making it to my room before I am so I decide to start speed walking to get there as fast as I could.

I hastened my pace while perplexed why they did not come in the same door as always. I guess it was maybe fate or something…I have no idea. I quickened my pace to what I'd call a professional walk/jog and the next thing I know my right foot slips on some slime and is up over my head and suddenly I slam down in the splits, my left knee cracking against the floor.

Shock and embarrassment and pain ensued and I just started to laugh not really knowing what to do. "Ummm do I need to sit in your room for a while?" a woman said to me sympathetically looking at me still sprawled out in the splits.

I tried to hobble back to class and go on as usual, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. My babies tried to help and pick me up which was the cutest thing ever. I let them know that unfortunately, they could probably not support my weight, haha. I do appreciate the enthusiasm to help me, though! I love those kids!!!!

Not long after, I found myself in the nurses office where people started asking me to show them my knee. "NOOO!!!" I said laughing hysterically…"I can't!"… the thoughts of my hairy legs plagued me as I tried to figure out a way to ice the knee without revealing the part of my life i've cut out in all my busyness…..shaving.

Alas, my efforts were futile and the next thing I know my dignity is handed over on a platter as the nurse and a lot of other worried people looked at my knee. "We'll get the trainer!" I heard as a cold, icy shiver went down my spine. Trainers are usually males in their mid twenties…could. it. be. worse.?!

In an attempt to regain some of my dignity, I grabbed the blanket on the sick bed to cover up the rest of my leg. That was a HUGE mistake that I didn't know about at the time. I awkwardly laughed my way through the rest of the day and ended up hobbling out of the school on crutches. Everything went by in a blur and I couldn't believe what a major scene I was making. Not to mention, thoughts of all who viewed my legs in their natural state haunted me with every strained step.

I got home and my knee was not looking good AT ALL. It was swelling up like it had a bouncy ball in the top of it and I iced it down for the night. I went to bed hopeful that I would return to school and woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach bug. The stomach bug that has now lasted three days!

Yep….it happened. And it was awkward. But we all know my life is just one big awkward moment, so what more can we expect?

*Just Sitting in an Airport*

Well, here I am sitting in the Kansas City airport waiting to fly home for work tomorrow. I'm reminded of last Christmas when I got stuck in a HORRIBLE blizzard and spent many hours in this airport. Every time without fail I have something inappropriate for an airport in my bag without knowing it. I'm always an issue when it comes to security, but they don't understand that a girl NEEDS her tweezers! It's so wrong that they throw those out…. Luckily, I did NOT get the pat down which is good for both me and security. That wouldn't of been pretty. (I'm still considering writing a complaint letter to Obama himself for the debacle last Christmas in Denver)

I have made eye contact with the same guy a couple of times now and I'm using this blogpost as a way to escape this extremely awkward moment. I am already feeling a little on the iffy side because I had to walk barefooted through security and they almost didn't give me my shoes back because they said I reached for them too early. I am surrounded by strangers and millions of germs, but that's just the price you pay in an airport.

As you can tell, I haven't had much time to blog lately because teaching is pretty much a 24/7 thing. Even on the weekends I'm just trying to survive and get any rest I can. I call it living in the "Code Red" zone. My house is a mess, my closet is a mess, and I have rotting food in the fridge but I forgive myself because I'm just trying to make it. I am in survival mode right now, but I think that's the way the first year of teaching always goes. You just work super hard and come home to a ton of laundry you don't have enough energy to do. It's so worth it, though…I LOVE my kids.

I just sat down in an airport chair that was warm from the person before me….yilkes! There is something just so unnerving about that, you know? I am reminded why I'm not a huge traveler at times like these.

Can I just say, Samuel is the cutest little bundle of joy in the entire world!!! I love him SO much! It's a shame he live so far away. :( We had some amazing moments this weekend that I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel so lucky to be an aunt to such a sweet baby boy! This trip was well worth it and I'm so thankful.

In other news, I have decided to become a huge football fan so wish me luck in that. That's about all I have to say for now, because the super funny stuff in my life has to be kept a secret. You wouldn't believe all the hilarious stuff that happens at school on a daily basis. (Unfortunately…I can't write about any of it)

Happy Labor Day! :)