*Not lonely enough!*

First off, I have to start this post by saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my best friend, kate!!!!!!!!!!! I am very thankful to have her as a friend, and will always count her as one of the closest people in my life! God has really blessed me through her!!!! Many people go their whole lives without finding a friendship as deep and loyal as ours. :) I am so blessed!!!!

Next thing I have to say is....I went from being lonely all through May to NOT LONELY ENOUGH in June!!!! HAHA! There are people and kids everywhere! I can't seem to get a moment to myself! And if you know me, you know that alone time is something I NEED! I love being social and I love making friends, but I would rather be alone on a desert island than have to be around people 24/7. Being so busy makes it so hard to think. I have no emotions at all, because I have no time to feel them. No wonder people make themselves busy when they are having a rough time, it's impossible to feel bad when you are super busy! It's impossible to feel anything! But I WANT to be able to feel! When I feel, is when I run to Jesus more. When I feel, I can listen to the spirit so much better. When my life is busy, it drowns Him out in a way I don't like. I have to make time at night to just stop my crazy life and focus on Him. When I'm not so busy I notice Him more often. I hate that I'm so busy that it makes it hard to think. All I think about is Mexican Train, Bingo, Frindle, and who needs what band-aid. My life is such a whirlwind right now. But what makes it worth it is when I walk into my classroom each day this one little boy goes: "Bow chicka bow wow!" and everyone starts to cheer. I am really wanted in this classroom, and that is a nice feeling. I can't walk the halls without at least five little kids grabbing onto my legs. My four year olds from last year chase me down the hall. I am like a hero. It is a great feeling, and it makes me realize why I have the major I do. I CAN make a difference. These kids look at me like I'm really important. To get a hug makes them light up so bright. It's nice to be so needed, it's nice to feel wanted. But I'm starting to need to feel a little more lonely. A little less wanted. I hate being lonely, and I hate feeling not lonely enough. I think if I feel wanted by people I love, and get at least four hours a day of alone time, that is my perfect medium. I hope my perfect medium will return in the fall! I haven't had it for quite some time, and I'm ready for it to makes it's appearance! I am absolutely exhausted beyond description, so I am going to bed! :)