This weekend was an amazing weekend, and the Lord spoke to me on a number of occasions which always gets me excited! I love hearing from Him, and the peace that He gives me. I know that there is never going to be a time in my life when He's not trying to teach me something. I love that....my life is going to be a journey of learning. And right now I'm learning a few things at once, but one main thing is working hard at being at peace with others. I have been WAY too selfish in my life, and it's time for me to become someone who truly understand the word love. I want to see people through the Lord's eyes and be a positive part in the lives of whomever God chooses. I want to be a grace giver and an encourager to those around me...I want a heart for others. And I am going to work hard at it....and if you see me not doing it, please tell me to get back on track! Because my human nature kicks in pretty quick at times. I am marking out a straight path for me, because the Lord has called me to it. I don't want to get sidetracked so I'm going to make out a list of my straight path. And it's probably going to take a few weeks to see exactly what path God has for me is. And obviously there will always be more to add as I mature in my faith. But I need some concrete path guidelines to follow! And there are parts of every detail of my life that needs to stick to that path. Part of the path is forgiveness and kindness no matter what happens.....working hard at showing love and not being so selfish....giving my love life completely to the Lord and striving for purity in the FAR future when the Lord decides it's the right time....and so many more, but I haven't mapped it all out yet. I'm also writing down situations like: If this happens, then I'll react like this...so I can be ready to react to things the way Jesus would want me to. Because when I'm surprised by things it never goes over well. So I'll make myself ready!
Now to the part that explains why this is titled "Whispers on the Sidewalk"....Me and some friends were running around the new dorms, and for some reason I got lost from the rest of the group, and that general area is just creepy when nobody is with you. So I was getting kind of scared and decided to go sit on the newly paved sidewalk while I watched the buildings to see if I could find anybody. I'd see a light turn on and off here and there, but there was no way to find them. So I just sat there and began thinking and praying about the upcoming school year. Painful memories from last year that caused my stomach to ache would flash through my mind every once in a while and I just began praying through them. I have flashes of bad memories every once in a while, but when I was actually at the location they happened, they came more frequently. And as I was praying about the memories and the fears about next year, I felt the Lord and heard Him whisper to my heart "I'm going to take care of you. Stop worrying my anxious Abby." I just had this peace come over me, and I knew right then that the Lord has some great things in store. And I don't need to worry, because He is going to work things out for me. And I know He sees my heart and how much I truly want to do what's right. Even if it's not what I think it should be, the Lord will work things together for my good. Whatever brings greater glory to Jesus is what I want. Even if it's not what I feel I want. Does that make sense? He is already working for my good in so many ways, and I can't thank Him enough! He will give me what I need if I make the Kingdom of Heaven my primary concern. And that is definitely what my heart's desire is now. I can't say it has ever been like this before.....but it is now. And I am so thankful for that, too. My eyes were opened to what shallow Christianity I had before, and I never want to go back.
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