You know what scares me? Gated community gates. I mean they seriously have a mind of their own!!!! I feel like my car has almost gotten squooshed by the gate three times this week. Like if someone goes in before you, are you supposed to race in? Or are you supposed to put the code in again? One time I raced in afterwards, and barely made it. Then the next time I tried to type in the code, but that didn't work either. The next day the person in front of me had gone in front, so I waited for it to close, then it wouldn't close for like 10 minutes. So I finally decided to drive in and you guessed it...it started to close on me! So I had to reverse my car and make the car behind me reverse,too. Talk about awkward and terrifying.Then every time I go out the gate, it is like two inches from scraping the front of my car. Where is the point where the gate can sense the car, anyway? I feel like I'm always too close or too far away. It really scares me, and gets my heart rate up every time it's time to enter or exit the gate..I personally like the gates best that have a policeman at the front to get rid of all the confusion. lol...I am not prepared to go the gate alone!
Sooo....In all honesty, I am sorta getting tired of trying to do what's right. It really stinks trying to humble yourself. It really stinks trying to love everybody. It really stinks to control the tongue. Even though that hasn't really gone over as well as I had planned. When I'm set off, it is a scary thing to whoever receives it. Mostly because much of what I say is icy, and most of what I say is true. And truth usually hurts worst of all. It's those unspoken truths about people that are brought to light that can make the tongue the most painful weapon. Like if someone has a huge gorilla attached to their arm, but nobody says anything because it's rude. Then when they make you mad and you say "Well guess what GORILLA GIRL!"...ya...that's how I can be. And it's def not good. I'm def gonna have to have the Lord work on me there. But even when I mess up, God still pulls me close anyway...He is just amazing like that. Next time, I'll do better. It's just tiring sometimes. Jesus had lots of tiring times, and still goes through each day without being recognized by the world. To be the King of the universe and not get credit? Worse yet..have people against Him? If I were Him I would be like WHAT'S UP WORLD!!!! And come down on a rainbow and do many miracles and make every animal say at the same time : "SEE YOU ARE WRONG!!! "And then the animals could all do the Cha Cha slide while people passed out in utter amazement. And it'd feel great. But that is why I am not God. And that shows my sin nature and complete lack of self control. But I have been really working on self control and loving and forgiveness..and it's getting tiring!!!! But Paul says don't get tired of doing good. So I'm gonna pick myself up and keep moving forward! I've come so far, and the last thing I want to do is slip back.
*Goodnight*
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