Body Scan/Thorough Pat Down OUTRAGE!!!!!!

I am on an angry rampage about to run up to the White House myself to complain about these new airport security 'procedures'!!! More like intrusions if you ask me!!!! It goes against everything my mom and dad taught me not to do! It is more shocking and appalling than you think, and seeing the creepiest men in the world wearing gloves and staring at you is NOT OKAY!!!! I am about to tell you my personal story of what abominations I've seen in the Denver airport today! I will gladly send my story off to OBAMA when I'm done! I'm THAT mad!!!!!!!!!

Our day started out pretty good until we went by a large speaker that shouted: "If you choose to forgo the body scan, then a thorough pat down may be involved." ERRRRRRK!!! Say WHAT?!?! My eyes got super wide as I took my place in line. I had seen certain google images of the body scan earlier this week and I feel like my innocence has been defiled. It shows every nook and cranny/fat roll and I'm not sure which one is worse! I have also heard horror stories about the creepers looking at the images and reasons they have been fired. I'll leave it at that. Lets just say there was NO WAY the body scanner was gonna happen for me. Nobody was gonna get that Merry of a Christmas!!!! NOBODY!

So I get closer to the scanner and this overweight man with a scruffy beard about 32 years old is looking at the images with his mouth half open (I wish I was kidding). He is the kinda guy that probably plays video games alone on a Saturday night taking small breaks to email his internet girlfriend named Helga. Not long after I'd been in line he saw me and made eye contact. We held eye contact for a few seconds and I could've sworn he looked a little happy to see me in line. *Insert record scratch number TWO!* No way, hosay!!! The only person I'd let see me in a body scan would be a registered mother! It should be mothers only if you ask me!!! Not a 32 yr. old bachelor creepster! At least shave the creep mustache PUH-LEASE!!!! Is that to much to ask?!?!

So I decided to forgo the scan as I saw my dad step in and make a goofy face. "I want to get my piece of the money if you sell this on ebay!" he said to the security guard who was NOT laughing. Next thing I know I'm going through the metal detector as they pick Molly randomly out for a "thorough pat down". This is where human rights becomes an issue in my mind!!!!

The pat down involves a person standing in the middle of a large room with EVERYONE looking! They touch everywhere leaving nothing without some touchy touchy boomity boomity! Undies are shown, hands are flying, and people are crying! IT WAS JUST WRONG!!!!! I am so so so sooooo happy they did not choose me, because I would have been arrested and someone would have been punched. You will NOT touch me all over in front of an enormous crowd and show my undies! I mean they even stick their hands DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR PANTS IN PUBLIC!!!!!! I am NOT joking about this!!! I AM LIVID!!!!!!! AND APPALLED!!!! I am sorry I am having to say these abominations on a blog!!!! Believe me, having to use the word undies and front of pants has not been one of my dreams! I am very sad it is has come to this!!!!

I get it…safety first, but this has gone WAY TOO FAR! WAYYYYY too far! Nuhu no way is this okay with me! I hope you all are as outraged as I am, and maybe we can at LEAST get mothers to be these scanners/patters not creeper of the month! And behind closed doors even! It was like completely and utterly outrageous!!!!! What address can I send my complaints to!?!?!?!

NOT OKAY, AMERICA! NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Survival Mode Musts*

If you know me at all, you know that I do not agree with cold weather. Being cold makes my face blow up to twice it's size for reasons unknown. My hands look like an old ladies and my demeanor is just a little bit grumpy. I am known to hibernate in the frigid conditions and people often wonder where I am. I can tell you right now that I'll be in survival mode with no sign of a cute outfit anywhere. I will be huddled by the fire in layers of bulky clothes trying to defeat the menacing chill. Luckily, I have a list of items that help me fight through the winter and you should have them, too. We are not migratory birds, so we must use a few wonderful inventions to help battle these treacherously cold days. Here is a list of ten items that you should consider this season:

*Survival Mode Musts*

1.) Heated mattress pad- This comes in quite handy everyday of the winter. Fire it up about ten minutes before bedtime and you will have a cozy, comforting place in no time! It's also good for waking me up in the morning, because when I put it on high it literally burns my skin. Yes, I do burn myself out of bed every morning, but this is survival mode and I never said it was pretty!

2.) Blow Dryer- This can be used to warm up those freezing toes after a hard day of making it the few feet from the car to the house. It can also be used to warm up socks as well...it'll be the best thing you ever did for your feet.

3.) Polartec Pants- These are a new item that I have purchased this year, and I absolutely LOVE them. They are made by The North Face and it makes me feel like I'm wearing a cloud. It's a nice way to keep warm and cozy around the house, AND they are stretchy so the guilt of holiday indulgence is less abrasive.

4.) Neosporin Lip Care- I have always had terribly chapped lips, but the new lip care line from Neosporin has given me hope! It heals my lips and prepares me to face any kind of adversity the weather might bring.

5.) OPI Nail Polish: "Ali's Big Break"- This nail polish is perfect for the Holiday season with a beautiful red color and a hint of sparkle. That way, even though you look super frumptastic in all the oversized polertec, you can remember you're a woman by looking at your beautiful nails!

6.) Fuzzy North Face jacket- The North Face has the softest/fuzziest line of jackets that bring comfort and support just by looking at them. When I put it on I feel like I'm in heaven and watching a Holiday movie in this fluffy friend is unmatchable bliss.

7.) Pumpkin Spice Coffee from The Fresh Market- Oh my…this coffee is the best coffee I have ever tasted and it only comes around once a year. You actually have to snag it during the fall season, but I save it for the winter! My taste buds thank me for my good choices every time.

8.) 18oS Ear Warmers- These are the best ear warmers I have EVER had! They go UNDERNEATH my hair so I don't have to go though the awkwardness of those other types of ear warming mechanisms! It is hard to tell that I have them on and they are SUPER warm! My hair day is not messed up at all, either!!! Gene Lockwood is calling your name…I can hear it now!

9.) Fuzzy socks- I never wear socks in the summer, but during the winter they are a MUST! Having them in obnoxious colors makes it all the more fun. The fuzzier…the better! Let's fight cold feet together!

10.) Space Heater- We all know the feeling of getting out of bed and the cold hitting us like a ton of bricks…say no to this horrendous occurrence and buy a space heater! This is winter…not child's play! We need to be armed with the best!

11.) Don't forget your HEAT WARMERS!!! Shake those babies up and you'll feel like a new person! You can even shake them to the tune of "Jingle Bells" to make it festive.


-I hope that you all put some of this on your Christmas list because January and February have never been forgiving. Throw some assorted gloves in there as well and make sure you only ride in vehicles that have heaters in them. Ugg boots wouldn't hurt either!

This is not a joke..this is not a drill…THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED! The Artic Winds have blown and we are now officially in SURVIVAL MODE!!!

*EXCUSE ME?!*

Three major record scratching moments have happened today alone. It's kind of a good thing, because my life was a little even keel for a while there, and that's never good for the blog.

We are getting ready for our family ski trip to Colorado next week, so we ran an errand to Jean Lockwood today. When we got home I was putting up my new ski stuff as dad walked in with a very serious look on his face. It wasn't a mad serious face, but a face was there to tell me some sort of news he'd been thinking about.

"It costs money to bring bags on the plane, so we have a big bag for ski stuff. I'd like for you to only have a carry on bag other than that." ERRRRRK!!!! EXCUSE ME?!?! "Dad! You have got to be joking right now!!! My make-up and hair bag is as big as a carry on by itself!" He started laughing and then luckily mom overheard the news of his bag idea. She said there was NO WAY she could get all her stuff in a carry on. I mean…we are women! Men expect us to look great/smell good AND they want us to save money by only packing a light bag!!! We are not immortal here! Do you think we have magic dust that suddenly brings about great outfits and hair days?! That is a big NO. It takes big bags I tell you…huge ones!

My other record scratching moment came at the lunch table when mom and dad informed me that I will be sharing a little room with my older brother on the trip. I am still terrified from the moments as a child when he had sleep terrors and it's bone chilling to think about what may happen. Not to mention it's just a little bit weird…aren't we a little old for this? Molly, why did you have to go get married again?!

Right after I learned about my new roomie a lady came up to the table and congratulated my parents on their new grandchild! "Are you the pregnant one?!" she said looking my way. "NO!" I replied with a a smile on my lips and a scowl in my eyes. I knew the day was coming when people would begin to think I'm pregnant, I just wasn't as prepared as I thought I was. Why me?! WHY ME?!?!?! ...I ask myself this often.

*Update!*

The newest and most important update in my life is that I'm going to be an AUNT! Yes, as most of you know Molly is on her way to being great with child! I am very excited for this new little arrival in our family, and I know it will change our lives for the better!!! I've already been thinking of fun things I'm going to do with the baby when he/she gets older! I wonder what their favorite foods will be, because i'll have to learn how to make it! Maybe they can come to aunt Abby's house and have camp-outs in the living room like we used to do. We would throw up a tent and sleep in sleeping bags inside the house, because camping outside was not our style. We could have smores and I could write stories just for my niece or nephew! The possibilities are endless!!! Oh my goodness….shadow puppets on the tent wall! Yes, it's going to happen.


The good news is that people won't grab my hand to look at my ringless finger to figure out who I am anymore! They can just look at me and see that I'm not pregnant! I will no longer be the ringless one!!! Maybe people can just call me Abby for once!!! That would be a dream! Welcome, baby…welcome.

I know some of you are probably wondering how I am feeling about all this because well…I'm the single twin sister of the girl whose having a baby and married to the man of her dreams. My best friend Kate can be found in the arms of her love as well sending me into many awkward third wheel moments. It's kinda like an elephant in the room, so I'm going to give you word about what's going on over here. I've heard about people having conversations about me, and even got a few worried phone calls this week, so don't act like this is uncalled for. lol I truly appreciate the concerns and I will gladly tell you how I am! I am so so so so soooo happy for Molly and Logan! :) It is super weird that my sister has an entirely different life than me, but I know that the Lord's timing is the best timing. He has everything under control and things are going the way they are supposed to go! How could I not be happy with that? The Lord gives me what I need each day to keep moving forward and do His will. His grace is enough for me! And now more than ever I stand by my convictions of not settling just for anything or anyone. It doesn't matter how many babies Molly has or how many people get married around me, I am NOT going to settle for anything less than what God has for me! If that means I'm single for 30 more years, then that's gonna be the way it goes. Settling is never worth it..it's just false security.

I have students, ninth grade bible study girls, and younger cousins that can see how I react to life circumstances. I am not only reacting for my own reasons, but for the people I love as well. I want to pave the way for new thinking. I want to teach girls that it's okay if they are the last one standing in a group of married girls. I want them to know that being patient and waiting on God's timing is the only way to go. I want them to know that self worth comes from the Lord and can't come from some guy. I know being lonely can be scary, but it isn't worth settling for a quick fix. I want them to know that if their life turns out completely different than they planned, that's okay. If you end up having to pay your own bills..it's not the end of the world. ;)

I'm finding out that God gives us reasons to be and people to love no matter where we are. And if we take life one day at a time, it doesn't feel so harsh. What matters most in life is Jesus Christ. He was there from the very beginning, and He is going to be there when everyone else is gone. When it is all said and done….God still is. I already have what I need to be happy and fulfilled. Jesus Christ is my reason for living, and therefore I can move ahead with strength and confidence no matter what life brings.

*Can You Believe That?!*

There are ways of knowing when you've passed from childhood into adulthood. If a child is completely bored with the topics of conversation you have with your friends,you're a grown up. If you are eating something you find very delightful, and a child looks at it with disgust, that's called adulthood. If you are watching a movie you find very interesting and a child is heard in the background saying: "How much longer till it's OVER?!", you have officially said your farewells to childhood. It is through the measure of a child that we can see when we've truly made the transition Peter Pan has always feared. Let me give some examples...

Earlier this week I was conversing with my aunts and cousins from out of town. My four year old cousin kept asking all of us to come play in her room, but we were too busy talking to come. Numerous people turning her down was upsetting to her, so I tried to find a way to make it right. I told her that she could go make us pretend food, but we would only be able to play like we were costumers talking at the table. I looked her strait in the eye and said very seriously like I was letting her in on a secret: "When you turn into a big person,talking is as fun as playing with dolls, can you believe THAT?! One day you will want to talk this much, too!" She opened her mouth and gave me an amazed look. "I can't believe THAT!" she said once she finally grasped the concept. "Life is funny like that" I said to her as she ran back to her room to grab some pretend food.

A few days ago we were watching a movie at our house that was not bad, but it was geared towards older crowds. My younger cousin wanted to hang out with the older cousins so she came a long as well. The entire time she kept saying "How much LONGER?!" and at the end she said "I'm so glad THAT'S over! Now let's get outta here, hop, two, three, four..." I laughed to myself and told her that when people get older they enjoy boring movies and love to eat nasty food. What once was so unappealing somehow turns into bliss. I got a few nodding agreements from the older cousins who remember what it was like to misunderstand adults. Something happens between then and now that changes the whole meaning of fun. When does this change take place, anyway? When are mac N cheese and chicken nuggets replaced for dishes that once seemed so gross to us as children?

Life changes us. There is only a short time in our lives when talking to people comes second to toys. When movies are supposed to only be in cartoon and food is simple and fun. Our whole view of life changes with each year, and maybe I'm not done changing. Maybe I will look back and laugh at what I thought was fun now, maybe what I think is boring will one day be appealing. One thing I've learned is that I can't put anything past aging. Age does things to you...crazy things you'd never imagine.

*WARNING: This may offend you*

The title of this post is very true...it may be offensive,so read at your own risk. What I'm about to talk about is quite controversial, but it must be said. (I was also wondering if people would click on my post BECAUSE I said it was offensive...just a little human experiment while I'm at it.)

There is an epidemic that has hit many young males at our beloved school that I like to call the "I'm Awesome" syndrome. It has become OUT OF CONTROL in the biggest way! Their egos have been fed for quite sometime, and it has brought about some shocking outcomes. I am here to bring some reality into the situation considering many poor girls are lowering their standards and losing self esteem. If I have one more conversation with a girl about how she isn't enough because Mr. "I'm Awesome" said so, then I will do something dramatic. Hence, where my passion begins...guarding self worth in myself and others is where one of my main convictions lies.

If you are a student here you know very well that there are 7 girls to 1 guy. This simply means there are a lot of BIG FISH in our TEENY,TINY POND. It means most girls won't be noticed no matter how hard they try. It means girls who are so incredible are losing self esteem and thinking this is reality. It means guys think they have the right to take a different girl out each weekend so they can choose who is 'right'. It means guys ASSUME girls will want to go on a date with them.It means EGOS ARE TAKING UP ALL OF OUR BREATHING ROOM! (What kind of freak show is this anyway, the bachelor?!)

I am also a little peeved about this "I'm Awesome" syndrome because of something that happened to me personally about a year ago. A guy who I would NEVER even think of dating pulled me aside and had a "serous" talk with me. He looked me in the eyes and said sweetly: "I know you like me, but as a sister in Christ I need to guard your heart and tell you I don't see you that way." Shocked I said this back PLAIN and CLEAR: "Oh ya? Well as a sister in Christ I need to let you know that you are completely delusional because I would never even consider you, pal."

I mean we are talking WACKY situations. I remember thinking: "Was I just rejected without even asking for it?!" Girls are lowering their standards because they are trying to meet some expectations they think will get them noticed at this school. I have long ago given up the idea that any boy will notice me on that campus no matter how hard I try. But you know what? That doesn't mean outside the bubble they don't. That doesn't mean I need to make my standards lower and just say yes to ANYONE. Even I have befallen victim of having a crush on somebody that I look back and say "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?!" Please, please, please...don't let that be you.

I know there are always exceptions and this is not necessarily the majority, but I see it enough to say something about it. Girls, what some guys at our school think of you does not make you who you are. If no boy notices you then that doesn't mean you aren't beautiful, that just means you might not have to share an undeserving man with three other people. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you and it DEFINITELY doesn't mean you aren't worth being seen. Because you ARE. And you deserve to have your standards high. (Let's face it, when standards lower you might marry a crazy man and have crazy babies because of it. Yikes.)

Go out of the bubble and you WILL be noticed. And when you are, don't just say yes to any joe blow that comes your way. Be okay with being single until the RIGHT one comes along!!! Do not fear rejection or singleness. Sometimes being rejected is the best thing that ever happened to you! SERIOUSLY! And singleness shows that you are willing to wait and go through the fire for that right boo for you. You are worth more than you know and you have something to offer. Never let any boy who doesn't see that make you feel any different.

This is a very serious matter, because I know we can't truly love anybody until we love ourselves. Let's guard our self worth with everything we have, so we can love deeply like the Lord created us to!

*Middle School Moment*

I had a Jr. High flashback a few weeks ago due to some unfortunate circumstances. I thought once I made my way to the big wide world of College all of my horrifying moments were over, but my recent experience has made me realize that I was definitely wrong about that one.

First, let me give you a little background information on the situation. There is a honorary education club that about every other education major got asked to be in EXCEPT me. The reason I did not make the cut is because they take your OVERALL GPA and mine happens to be a 2.8 thanks to a few "mishaps" along the way. I think I should get a lot of recognition because I brought up my 1.8 from the unfortunate times at my old college to a 2.8! Do you know how hard that is?! I mean…all these other people just had good grades all along. I had to drudge my way up from the GPA pits for heavens sake! That is some major number climbing!!! Biology and College Algebra were considered my days of being mercilessly thrown into the quicksand of confusion with no chance of escape!!! How can a GPA reflect positively when you are just happy to get ANY of the problems right?! Just because I was made to take those dream killing classes does not mean that I shouldn't be able to be in the education club!

Having strait A's all your life is not the end all be all. It's a known fact that a main character in a novel is always supposed to be the one that changes through the story. My GPA represents a good leading role in a wonderfully famous novell! Always having good grades brings about NO story line. People like that have to be the background character because they always stay the same. I on the other hand have made a huge transition which is why my life and GPA can be the spotlight and focal point of a storyline. JUST SAYIN.

The Jr. High flashback came the night that everyone was meeting to have dessert with the dean for their first informational meeting about the club. I was doing a huge presentation for my night class and had to be there 15 minutes early which happened to be the same time that everyone was getting their dessert. Everyone started walking towards the invite only room and at least four people asked me: "Are you coming?" It was a terrible moment, because I have definitely made a smarter name for myself and not being invited ruined my new look. The worst part was when one girl who has ALWAYS had strait A's whispered loud enough for me to hear "Not all of us can make it." 'Well, YOU can't be the main character of a novel! Your GPA IS BORRRRRING!' I said to the hallway. Because well…me and the hallway were the only ones left, really.

I had to wait out in the hall while everyone else got icecream and cookies and fruit. I wasn't too upset about missing out on the fruit but the other stuff? Not cool! I give up my life to do well in my education classes, but missed out on the dessert and lost my smart reputation anyway! Everybody came into class with their plates full of dessert and I had a to give a 200 point presentation on ESL students while they ate. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear or two, but I still got a 95% on my presentation even with a heavy heart and red face. THAT is talent if you ask me!!! Life is not about recognition, though….but I don't think life is about being left out alone in the hall, either. Did I mention I didn't even read until 2nd grade and I had a C in math for the first time in 4th grade. I defy odds with the great grades I'm getting now. Why isn't that taken into account?!

The Dean of Education came and had a personal talk with me about how she was sad that she couldn't change the rules and let me into the club. She was really sweet and said that I had something that lots of people don't have which is a bubbly personality and interpersonal skills. She said that's one of the most important things about being a teacher which made me feel good. The years of personality development that I've spoken about before have really paid off. :) But unfortunately those days could not save me from reliving my middle school feelings again in a college hallway. But don't worry…I'm completely over it and just laughing about it now. That's the best thing you can do in situations like that. Learning to laugh at the rough times in life is the best way to make it through if you ask me.