I am on an angry rampage about to run up to the White House myself to complain about these new airport security 'procedures'!!! More like intrusions if you ask me!!!! It goes against everything my mom and dad taught me not to do! It is more shocking and appalling than you think, and seeing the creepiest men in the world wearing gloves and staring at you is NOT OKAY!!!! I am about to tell you my personal story of what abominations I've seen in the Denver airport today! I will gladly send my story off to OBAMA when I'm done! I'm THAT mad!!!!!!!!!
Our day started out pretty good until we went by a large speaker that shouted: "If you choose to forgo the body scan, then a thorough pat down may be involved." ERRRRRRK!!! Say WHAT?!?! My eyes got super wide as I took my place in line. I had seen certain google images of the body scan earlier this week and I feel like my innocence has been defiled. It shows every nook and cranny/fat roll and I'm not sure which one is worse! I have also heard horror stories about the creepers looking at the images and reasons they have been fired. I'll leave it at that. Lets just say there was NO WAY the body scanner was gonna happen for me. Nobody was gonna get that Merry of a Christmas!!!! NOBODY!
So I get closer to the scanner and this overweight man with a scruffy beard about 32 years old is looking at the images with his mouth half open (I wish I was kidding). He is the kinda guy that probably plays video games alone on a Saturday night taking small breaks to email his internet girlfriend named Helga. Not long after I'd been in line he saw me and made eye contact. We held eye contact for a few seconds and I could've sworn he looked a little happy to see me in line. *Insert record scratch number TWO!* No way, hosay!!! The only person I'd let see me in a body scan would be a registered mother! It should be mothers only if you ask me!!! Not a 32 yr. old bachelor creepster! At least shave the creep mustache PUH-LEASE!!!! Is that to much to ask?!?!
So I decided to forgo the scan as I saw my dad step in and make a goofy face. "I want to get my piece of the money if you sell this on ebay!" he said to the security guard who was NOT laughing. Next thing I know I'm going through the metal detector as they pick Molly randomly out for a "thorough pat down". This is where human rights becomes an issue in my mind!!!!
The pat down involves a person standing in the middle of a large room with EVERYONE looking! They touch everywhere leaving nothing without some touchy touchy boomity boomity! Undies are shown, hands are flying, and people are crying! IT WAS JUST WRONG!!!!! I am so so so sooooo happy they did not choose me, because I would have been arrested and someone would have been punched. You will NOT touch me all over in front of an enormous crowd and show my undies! I mean they even stick their hands DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR PANTS IN PUBLIC!!!!!! I am NOT joking about this!!! I AM LIVID!!!!!!! AND APPALLED!!!! I am sorry I am having to say these abominations on a blog!!!! Believe me, having to use the word undies and front of pants has not been one of my dreams! I am very sad it is has come to this!!!!
I get it…safety first, but this has gone WAY TOO FAR! WAYYYYY too far! Nuhu no way is this okay with me! I hope you all are as outraged as I am, and maybe we can at LEAST get mothers to be these scanners/patters not creeper of the month! And behind closed doors even! It was like completely and utterly outrageous!!!!! What address can I send my complaints to!?!?!?!
NOT OKAY, AMERICA! NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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