Today I'm stuck in bed with some sickness that is going around my classroom. I guess it will take a little while to get immune to all that's swimming around in there. To pass the time this morning I watched an episode of American Idol and I know they TRY to pull on our emotions, but this tugged on my heart strings even more than usual. One story made me ball like a baby with about six tears or so. It was so compelling and made me think about what love really is.
There was a 26 year old guy who was wearing a woman's engagement ring around his neck. He went on to tell how he has been engaged to a the love of his life for a few years now. It showed pictures of them dating and a video of the engagement a couple years back. She is absolutely gorgeous…not just a little bit gorgeous, but the gorgeous that sticks with you for a while. In the pictures they are so happy and a VERY attractive couple. They are the kind of couple that are cute enough to post kissing pictures without making the public sick. They seemed so happy and their engagement was perfect, but things were about to change for them.
Soon after the proposal she got in an accident and had a traumatic brain injury. She woke up a month later with results that would cripple her for the rest of her life. She is no longer the beautiful girl she once was. She only has one eye that works and she cannot control her body at all. She has lost her perfect tan and is hardly recognizable. She cannot communicate except for a few short words that are hard to understand. Her body is in a constant jerking motion, but the man is still by her side and loving her regardless of the changes.He is one of her care takers and although he has never been able to marry her, he has stayed with her. He said he made a promise when he gave the ring to stick with her through sickness and in health and he really meant it.
It got me thinking about love and what it really means. I see so many beautiful couples getting married with all these elaborate romantic dates and huge engagement rings that sparkle 24/7. I see movies and tv shows that focus on romance and huge big displays of affection in ways that leave any woman weak in the knees. But love isn't about all that to me. Love is so much deeper, so much more selfless. Love is not what someone can do for you, but what you can do for them. Love is giving and expecting nothing in return. There is so much focus on the icing, and not enough on the cake! Great dates and sparkly rings are not bad things, but they are meaningless when it comes to giving value to love. Those things are just the icing; the perks if you will. But we all know we can't live on icing alone...it would make us sick!
Love is sticking by a person when they are at their worst. This man cleans up the drool from his fiance's mouth everyday. Even though she is not the perfect looking woman anymore, he stands by her side. Even though she can't give any love back, he is still there for her. I would not wish that on anybody, but at the core of my future love life, I want cleaning up my husband's drool not to be out of the question. I pray I can love like that man. What an inspiration he was!
We can't hold on to our looks or our successes, because they can be stripped away from us any day. We can't just "love" somebody because we like the way they look and what they do for us. We can't just love somebody because they impress us. What about the day when they are no longer impressive? What about the day when they are old and wrinkly and you are scrubbing the crusties between fat rolls and wrapping their toosh up in Depends?!
There's gotta be something so much deeper than just these dream dates,good looks, and feel-good emotions. There has to be.
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