*An Unlikely Pair*

Well, it's that time of year again. The awkward time when I can't quite figure out if the heat or air conditioning should be on. My tan lines from the summer are fading with each passing day and my love for coffee is more intense than ever. The Pumpkin Spice latte fest has officially begun and my debit card is thankfully getting enough swipes to earn interest on my account because of it. I made 70 cents last month, thank you very much!

I made the most unlikely friend this past weekend. Through this new relationship I have realized that I may not be as set in my ways as I thought. I am finding out that it is very possible for me to surprise myself. The surprise this weekend came when I unexpectedly fell in love for the first time….with a dog. Yes, you did just hear that right.

As most of you know, I do NOT like dogs. I think they take up way too much time and energy and it bothers me that they try to run away from home so often. The fact that I'm a germophobe does not help matters, either. How people can live in a place where a smelly animal puts their unkept rear end on the couch is beyond me. It just seems wrong!

Things that smell bad REALLY bother me. I have heard so many people say: "No, my dog doesn't stink!" only for me to get close to it and almost gag from the odor invading my nostrils. Unfortunately I judge things off the way they smell and it's a burden I bare. Like if someone has bad breath it's very hard for me to forgive that. Once or twice is fine...I mean we ARE human…but if it's just a lack of brushing and flossing I find it entirely offensive. Bad breath ruins any conversation no matter how sweet to the ears it may be.

Okay, now that I got that soap box over with I can move on to my actual story. I babysat some kids out in the country this weekend who had the HUGEST dog I've ever seen! When I first saw him I seriously started freaking out and thought about faking a blood clot or heart attack. He scared me half to death and kept pushing on me and jumping up for the first couple of minutes. His owner was like: "Oh, just pet him and he'll stop!"…HA...RIIIGHT…PET HIM...."ummm…I don't pet dogs…ever" was my quick response. Luckily she had a good sense of humor and isn't the type of person to put her dog above a human and just laughed at me.

After they left, it was just me and the dog. I looked it square in the eye and it looked at me with his head cocked curiously. He was trying to figure out why I was acting so funny, I think. "Back, dog! BACK!" I said as scary as I could. He took one step back and just looked at me like I was crazy. Then I started walking around the house and he began to follow me. He didn't try to jump up anymore but just stayed behind me about a foot away. It's almost like he realized I didn't want to be touched and completely respected that.

He continued to follow me outside, around the house, and anywhere I would go. When I decided to take a short nap on the couch, I was pleasantly surprised when he laid down on the floor and started to snore. He was literally doing whatever I did. When I ate, he ate…when I slept, he slept. When I went around to lock the doors at night…so did he.

I was in the middle of the woods which was kind of creepy, so I decided to move his dog bed to my door to feel a little safer. I never thought I'd do something like that, but there was something about this dog that I connected with. Something about him made me feel like we were friends. Something about him made me feel like I wasn't so alone. Instead of being terrified of the dog, he made me feel like everything was going to be okay. He let me know when anything weird was going on outside and he never tried to run away. In fact, he has a huge doggy door so he can go outside to run in the woods whenever he wants and always comes back afterwards. He's smart like that.

The weird thing is that I could go on talking about this dog all night. Like the way I miss the sound of his tinkling collar or how I wish he was here right now. I realize why some people get so attached to their dogs, because I really liked him a lot. I would even go further and say that I loved him. He was my companion and my buddy for the weekend and we really had a bond that I will never forget. When I woke up in the morning I even patted his head and said: "Thank you for your services, sir."

If only he knew what a big deal that was.

*Memory/Made for a Purpose*

When other six year old kids were in school, we would be setting up a little village in the backyard. Each of the four kids had a tent that we would put up and make into our own "home". We would make a trail to each front door and there was a main community area in the middle. My brother Zach was really great at designing things, so that was really his part of the game.

My mom gave us real dishes that we got to pretend to clean. She would bring us out a bucket of water and a towel and we could sit out there scrubbing those glass dishes for hours. We even got to bring out our blankets and make beds. Me and Molly would interior decorate our entire tents until they were full of flowers and nick knacks to make it a home. Once we got everything ready, we would get our baby dolls and play like we had our own little family in the neighborhood. The boys would play along, too (minus the baby dolls) which was one great thing about us all being around the same age. It was really wonderful time in life….

The setting up process would take SO long and my anticipation would build as the minutes ticked on. Finally when everything would be ready, I could barely contain my excitement and I would feel happiness bursting from head to toe. Usually things would go smoothly and we would play until dinner time…...but somedays….it didn't work out so well.

I remember one time after we finally finished setting everything up, I heard one of the worst things a kid can hear at that age…."I don't want to play anymore." Um…excuse me?! You don't want to play anymore?!?! Are you crazy?! We just got this set up! The feeling of wanting so bad to play something, thinking that you are going to get to, and then someone getting burnt out too soon was pretty much a disaster in my little mind. I think it was my very first taste of disappointment.

I still get that feeling sometimes and it never ceases to be the biggest buzz kill. A lot of times, when a woman feels an emotion, her brain takes her back to places that she has also felt that emotion. Then, of course she has to get upset about that all over again, too. I think that's why men don't understand girls and their hysterics. They don't understand that we are not only mourning the moment…but an entire lifetime. My dad and brothers never quite understood the drama fests of the women in my family, but they sure got plenty of it. Being a female is tough and I don't know if many men could handle it. But then again, we don't have the responsibility of running the world….so I think it all evens out in the end.

Can you imagine if it were up to women to be the head of the family? Can you imagine if we we are the ones that this world was riding on?! If I had all that responsibility, I'd run crazy screaming through the streets! If I was the brains of the operation at some major company and had this internal need to provide and compete….I would be done for! Luckily, I am completely non competitive which is good because I am horrible at many things.

On the playground the other day, I had a really eye opening moment. All of the kids love to show me their tricks and I hear my name called out over and over again. It may be to just watch someone jump rope, or go down the slide, or run to the other side of the playground. They just need to know somebody is impressed with what they do. In the midst of it all, someone came over to me and said: "Miss P…I can't run fast or do flips or jump rope...I guess that's just the way God made me!" I looked over and smiled and said: "Baby, that's a wonderful way to be made."

I can't run fast or do sports either so I could completely relate. It was like the Lord was trying to tell me something through that statement. Lately I've been thinking about some things that I wish I was or had in my personality that I don't. Sometimes I even try to force myself to think or be something that I'm not which never works out well. Like me trying not to be a deep thinker and professional over analyzer of my daily life is never going to happen. I remember analyzing and contemplating the meaning of life when I was seven years old. "Why am I here?" I would ask myself in the mirror. Then I felt claustrophobic in my own body….like I was stuck inside. I was totally aware of my soul and thought about it a lot when most kids were just playing barbies. I still spend many nights alone just trying to wrap my mind around the deepest questions we have. It is very hard for me not to analyze things and actions and people on a deeper level. It's just kind of what I do. The Lord made me that way, though… and He made me that way for a purpose. And He made you the way He did for a purpose, too.

One of the things I am learning most of all through my first year of teaching is just how special each person really is. How different each brain works and how they all have something that they are really good at. Each student in my class is so unique and so different and I see so much good the Lord has for their future. I am absolutely sure there are some very important leaders of the future sitting in my classroom right now. What a blessing to be a part of that.

*The Old House*

So I was just reading some of my blogs from 2009 and I'm pretty sure I forgot half the things that happened. I tend to forget my life accidentally.

I was driving home from school on Friday and decided to take a detour and drive by the house I grew up in. It always feels so strange to drive up that road, because it still feels so familiar. When I got there, I slowed down and started to stare at it as memories flooded my mind. Memories that could only escape if I allowed myself this moment.

I noticed there was a little boy playing outside on a rock that I used to play on all the time. I stopped the car and watched him for a minute until I noticed his dad come outside and start to stare at me. I don't exactly fit the profile of a criminal, but I guess you can't be too careful these days.

It was really weird not being welcome at the place I know so well. Glimmers of the past like the old rusty basketball goal stood right next to the reality of today. The reality of a man basically saying "Get off my property, you crazy!" and I guess he didn't realize it was my property, too. That's where I spent countless hours building cities for my barbie dolls and brushing my American Girl's hair. That's where I pretended to be a mom everyday as I took care of my favorite baby doll named Chad. I really don't like the name Chad, so I'm not sure why I named him that….but I sure did love him. I don't remember many days I didn't play like I was a mommy. I've always been very maternal, even more than the other girls around me and maybe it was because I was made to be a teacher and a mom. I guess it was just ingrained in me and there's nothing I can really do about it. It's just innate…put there by God himself. I loved loving and taking care of babies even back then and that is something that has not changed.

I ended up driving away pretty soon because I realized I was making the new owner uncomfortable and I was definitely not welcome. I started to think of things that are a lot like the old house as I drove down the road forcing my mind back to my now. It made me realize that a lot of things in life are like that. Some things that were once so familiar and may still be, but we have no way to get to them anymore. Like my old dorm rooms…even though I have so many memories there, I can never go back. It doesn't belong to me anymore. And it would be entirely inappropriate to go use my locker from high school because that belongs only to my yesterdays. It still feels familiar, it still feels like it should be mine…but I have to walk away.

I've noticed people can be like that, too. Lots of people. People that I really care about that had to move away or just aren't in my life anymore. Sometimes your paths cross with someone for a short, beautiful time and then it fades into the background as life continues to go on. We may see those people again and they seem so familiar, but for some reason…it's just not the same. It's like the old house with familiar remnants of the past colliding with the new and unfamiliar reality of the present.

*The Major Ordeal*

All my life I've continued to find myself in creepy situations and today was no different.

I was driving down the road to Starbucks this morning when suddenly I realized that my foot was in A LOT of pain! It kind of was like a gradual thing…a little discomfort at first, and then suddenly it was just burning to the point that I could barely drive!!! So of course I did what Abby does best and started completely freaking out.

Luckily, it wasn't my driving foot, so I was able to bend down to see what the problem was. I felt something in between my skin and shoe kinda stuck and suddenly I realized IT WAS MOVING!!! MOVING?!?! Why would something be moving and burning in my shoe?!?!?!

I couldn't figure out exactly what was going on down there, but I knew that it was probably going to be a major ordeal. I lifted whatever it was up to my face so I could see it and was SHOCKED AND APPALLED to see an enormous black beetle in my face!!!! I threw it to the other side of the car and started screaming as I quickly pulled into the nearest parking lot.

I sat there stunned for a minute and when I gained my composure I went about wacking at the beetle who kept getting away from me. He was super fast and super mad!! He went through a lot of trauma being stuck in my shoe as well and I'm pretty sure he didn't want to be there, either. Eventually, I put him out of both of our miseries……although, I am still suffering a little bit and he is not.

There was a huge black beetle stuck in my shoe which can scar a girl, you know? I have been perplexed ever since as to how he got there in the first place and it's left me with an uneasy feeling… I mean, is there a massive beetle home in my closet?! Do beetles sleep in my shoes?! Is one going to get in my bed?!?!?! How can I be certain that my feet will be safe tomorrow? It's all just really disturbing.

*Senior Prom and Bible Stories*

"When your stomach is empty and your head is full…it makes it hard to sleep."-Wilbur from Charlottes web

My head is full of the most random things and it's funny to me to see where my head goes in certain situations. Today my brain has been completely on memory mode! I spent an hour today recalling my senior prom and I have no idea why. I had broken up with my boyfriend of four years just three weeks before the prom and was in desperate need of a date. I asked my cousin Macy to go with me and she ended up being the best date I ever had. It sounds lame that I had to basically convince my ninth grade cousin to attend my senior prom with me….but I wouldn't trade it for the world. The story gets more hilarious to think about the older we get.

Another thing my head has been full of is Jacob and Esau. Probably because I saw the story in a new light now that I'm teaching it and I'm surrounded by bible stories everyday. It's like I'm catching things that I didn't before, and I have SO many thoughts after I teach bible. Like….I really think when Jacob worked for Labban all those years for Rachel and got Leah, it was kinda like what goes around comes around, pal! Poor Esau was stabbed in the back like CRAZY!!! And Esau was nice and ended up forgiving Jacob even though he did NOT deserve it.

And how weird is it that Rebekah loved Jacob the most and Issac favored Esau?Don't you think that probably caused some major marital issues?! I mean…every single day I am just wanting to chat about these bible stories….. cause man, there was a lot of twists and turns that I never realized before. When I'm studying them like this, I just want to give Jacob a little talkin to for putting on the goat fur and taking Esau's blessing, ya know?! But then again…what on earth was Issac thinking when he decided to have a favorite son?! RUDE,MUCH?!?!

The thing I'm realizing about almost every single bible story I teach is that they have a part where God blesses them and is on their side, and then there is some major flaw or sin that they commit that they have to pay the consequences for. Anyone who thinks that God's love depends on us being perfect clearly has not memorized the Old Testament!!! The bible is packed with sinful, broken, and imperfect people on God's side! Maybe that's what is such an "Ah ha" moment for me. Did you hear the emotion in my words earlier? I think it's because for the first time I am realizing all the disfunction and sin in the people who we usually just talk about as God's friends and all the "shining moments" in their lives.

Like Abraham trying to rush God's plan by having Ishmael with a woman who was not his wife. (We skipped that part of the story in 1st grade, but I knew it already) Abraham got his promise of a son and was known as a close friend of God, but Islam stemmed out of Ishmael which was a major major major consequence for trying to take his life into his own hands. Even though God promised him a son, Abraham could not see how that would happen and decided to make things happen on his own. Talk about yikes!!! Makes me want to think a little harder about my decisions! Makes me want to be patient and wait on God's timing in my life, ya know?

And what about Joseph's brothers? How hard would it be to have your dad love one child more than you and then have the favored child say that God is going to make them bow down to him. I mean…I'd be tempted to throw him in a well myself! Our sin nature would naturally make us want to do that and doing the right thing is what is hard a lot of the time. How hard would it be to be like: "Joseph, can't wait to bow down to you! I'm so happy for you that dad likes you best and got you this coat I always wanted." Ya….most of us couldn't do that.

I should probably go to bed, but if you're like me and never quite got the generations before no matter how much you've been in church…Let me give you a little picture:

Abraham and Sarah had Issac

Abraham and Sarah found Issac a lovely wife named Rebekah at a water well and those two love birds had twin boys named Esau and Jacob

Even though Jacob wronged Esau, we know more about Jacob. Jacob was the one who married Leah AND Rachel and he had 12 sons. One of the sons was Joseph and he's the technicolored coat one.

I knew all the stories separately before, but had never quite put the generations together, so there ya go. Maybe that will give a better idea to somebody…who knows.

*My Week's Debacle*

Well, here I am reporting to you from the other side of my tragic affair. Unfortunately, I have suffered from a freak accident knee injury AND the stomach bug since Tuesday. Worse yet, I feel like I brought a lot of it upon myself for two reasons: 1.) I shouldn't of power walked down the hallway 2.) I should've just shaved my legs.

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon around 2:15 and I was waiting in the hallway like I always do for my kids to come back from enrichment. I walked down the hall a little bit to see if they were anywhere in sight, only to realize that they were coming in the back door. (A door they NEVER come in). So next thing I know, my kids are making it to my room before I am so I decide to start speed walking to get there as fast as I could.

I hastened my pace while perplexed why they did not come in the same door as always. I guess it was maybe fate or something…I have no idea. I quickened my pace to what I'd call a professional walk/jog and the next thing I know my right foot slips on some slime and is up over my head and suddenly I slam down in the splits, my left knee cracking against the floor.

Shock and embarrassment and pain ensued and I just started to laugh not really knowing what to do. "Ummm do I need to sit in your room for a while?" a woman said to me sympathetically looking at me still sprawled out in the splits.

I tried to hobble back to class and go on as usual, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. My babies tried to help and pick me up which was the cutest thing ever. I let them know that unfortunately, they could probably not support my weight, haha. I do appreciate the enthusiasm to help me, though! I love those kids!!!!

Not long after, I found myself in the nurses office where people started asking me to show them my knee. "NOOO!!!" I said laughing hysterically…"I can't!"… the thoughts of my hairy legs plagued me as I tried to figure out a way to ice the knee without revealing the part of my life i've cut out in all my busyness…..shaving.

Alas, my efforts were futile and the next thing I know my dignity is handed over on a platter as the nurse and a lot of other worried people looked at my knee. "We'll get the trainer!" I heard as a cold, icy shiver went down my spine. Trainers are usually males in their mid twenties…could. it. be. worse.?!

In an attempt to regain some of my dignity, I grabbed the blanket on the sick bed to cover up the rest of my leg. That was a HUGE mistake that I didn't know about at the time. I awkwardly laughed my way through the rest of the day and ended up hobbling out of the school on crutches. Everything went by in a blur and I couldn't believe what a major scene I was making. Not to mention, thoughts of all who viewed my legs in their natural state haunted me with every strained step.

I got home and my knee was not looking good AT ALL. It was swelling up like it had a bouncy ball in the top of it and I iced it down for the night. I went to bed hopeful that I would return to school and woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach bug. The stomach bug that has now lasted three days!

Yep….it happened. And it was awkward. But we all know my life is just one big awkward moment, so what more can we expect?

*Just Sitting in an Airport*

Well, here I am sitting in the Kansas City airport waiting to fly home for work tomorrow. I'm reminded of last Christmas when I got stuck in a HORRIBLE blizzard and spent many hours in this airport. Every time without fail I have something inappropriate for an airport in my bag without knowing it. I'm always an issue when it comes to security, but they don't understand that a girl NEEDS her tweezers! It's so wrong that they throw those out…. Luckily, I did NOT get the pat down which is good for both me and security. That wouldn't of been pretty. (I'm still considering writing a complaint letter to Obama himself for the debacle last Christmas in Denver)

I have made eye contact with the same guy a couple of times now and I'm using this blogpost as a way to escape this extremely awkward moment. I am already feeling a little on the iffy side because I had to walk barefooted through security and they almost didn't give me my shoes back because they said I reached for them too early. I am surrounded by strangers and millions of germs, but that's just the price you pay in an airport.

As you can tell, I haven't had much time to blog lately because teaching is pretty much a 24/7 thing. Even on the weekends I'm just trying to survive and get any rest I can. I call it living in the "Code Red" zone. My house is a mess, my closet is a mess, and I have rotting food in the fridge but I forgive myself because I'm just trying to make it. I am in survival mode right now, but I think that's the way the first year of teaching always goes. You just work super hard and come home to a ton of laundry you don't have enough energy to do. It's so worth it, though…I LOVE my kids.

I just sat down in an airport chair that was warm from the person before me….yilkes! There is something just so unnerving about that, you know? I am reminded why I'm not a huge traveler at times like these.

Can I just say, Samuel is the cutest little bundle of joy in the entire world!!! I love him SO much! It's a shame he live so far away. :( We had some amazing moments this weekend that I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel so lucky to be an aunt to such a sweet baby boy! This trip was well worth it and I'm so thankful.

In other news, I have decided to become a huge football fan so wish me luck in that. That's about all I have to say for now, because the super funny stuff in my life has to be kept a secret. You wouldn't believe all the hilarious stuff that happens at school on a daily basis. (Unfortunately…I can't write about any of it)

Happy Labor Day! :)